Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hiding out

July 29, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

We’ve all been that person. You know the one. The one who has the answer in Math class but won’t raise their hand in the off chance the answer is incorrect. The one who knows what needs to be said but is afraid of the possible judgement that may follow. The one who knows they could rock a pixie cut but are worried their husband will find them unattractive. The one who knows who they are but stays tucked in the closet because that is where they are safe from judgement. The one who has a dream but cannot begin to chase it in fear of ridicule. The one who knows where their passion lies yet will not pursue it because the financial risk is too great. The one who has one too many at the party to fit in. The one who at one time knew she was pretty but listened to the wrong people and began to believe in them instead of herself. The one who was hiding out.

In a few days, I will be 42 and as you know, 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything (Douglas Adams – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)…I am quite excited! Those familiar with my Salon Tales, it is no secret that yours truly has had issues with self esteem and my reflection. In the past, if you were lucky enough to have me stand still for a picture, I never wanted to look at it. I was also the woman who blamed everything but herself for her weight gain…yes, my daughter was 10 and I still said I was trying to lose my “baby weight” and yes, I was the woman who couldn’t workout because I didn’t own the “right” cross trainers. I was also the woman who kept her hair short for over 12 years because everyone told me how good it looked on me and it “slimmed down my face”. Fast forward to present day. Thanks to getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy), learning to embrace patience – that was a toughie, entering my forties, my hubby’s health issues that made me take a hard look at my diet and how I was feeding my family and, quite honestly, removing my head from my ass and finally allowing myself to be the person I always knew I was. Everything began to fall into place, from my career to my family to my weight and self image issues. Don’t get me wrong, there has been many a tear shed out of fear and frustration. There have been bumps in the road and hurdles to leap over…they just aren’t as ominous.

Proof that patience, believing in yourself, believing that you are worth it, speaking your truth and healthy eating and exercise pays off – posting some pictures because I gotta practice what I preach.

2010 (38) 2013 (41)

With my birthday approaching I wanted to bestow a gift unto you. The gift of permission to be whatever and whomever you want to be. Permission to get your hair colored & styled how you want it styled. To be the person you always knew you were but were too afraid to be. Over the past 4 years I have learned that when you dare to dream and follow that dream, when you allow yourself to follow your passion and are willing to work your ass off, life begins to get pretty good. Another lesson I had to learn, it is not all about you – another toughie for yours truly. Everyone is on their own journey and they have their own road map to follow. Their paths may not be the same as yours. Maybe your paths will cross, maybe they won’t. Their journey is just as important as yours and their hopes and fears should not be belittled. I know I put my foot in it a few times and have since apologized. Last but never least, you must be kind, not only to others, but to yourself.

Be kind. Be patient. Love yourself and know your worth. Love others and show them their worth. …it’s time to stop hiding out.

*UPDATE! Proof that when you are true to yourself, it keeps on getting better and better. Yours Truly at the Contessa’s November 2014, courtesy of the Beauties at Piidea & Joico. Dress courtesy of Netty Vintage.

Beauty, Business, communication, entertainment, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth Part 12

July 18, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

This summer we are in for a treat! We will experience not one Super Moon, but three! So, you know what that means…Ladies and gents, boys and girls, gather ’round for the latest installment of That girl in the red coat’s Tales of Truth. If the past few weeks are a preview of what is to come, I am going to have some interesting tales to tell.

– A woman comes into the shop asking about at home hair color. I ask her if she has ever used box dye on her hair, to which she answers “Never! This is my natural hair”. As I see her blonde tresses with black roots, I ask her again, “Are you sure you have never used a box dye from the drug store when you have colored your hair?”, to which she answers “No! I have never used a box dye at home! Only professional hair color, so it’s my natural hair.”. …wait for it…there you go.

– A woman came into the shop looking for our selection of OPI nail polish. I led her over to our selection and asked if she needed my help finding a certain shade. She told me no. After a few seconds I hear her sigh and say “hmmpppt. stupid.”,then “Sure! Whatever!”, followed by “you are so dumb” as she was holding a bottle and talking to it. “Are you sure I cannot help you?” I ask. “Only if you can tell me why I don’t like these shades of pink” was her answer.

– “Why does this hairspray say it is hard to hold? The can isn’t THAT heavy.” …there are no words.

– A woman rushes into the shop “Do you sell Big Sexy Hair Products?” to which I tell her yes and show her the bonus size promotion on the Spray and Play hairspray. “How do you know it is a bonus size?” she asks, to which I keep a straight face and show her that the can is bigger then the regular size bottle right beside it and the bold lettering on the can that says 40% more free, to which she says “How do you know they are telling the truth?”.

– “Do you have the product that smells really good that used to be in a white bottle?” – this gem is posed to me on a weekly basis – full moon or not.

– A woman came in looking for an everyday shampoo for her family. I showed her the ISO Daily Care Shampoo and let her know it was one of our best sellers. She looked at me and said “This is no good. We don’t wash our hair everyday so we can’t use a shampoo that is for daily use.” …sigh

– A woman asked me the difference between soft hold hairspray and firm hold hairspray, so I let her know that soft hold gives a very soft, workable hold and a firm hold hairspray is a finishing spray to spray once you have your hair styled the way you like and it is not as workable. “Yeah…so what’s the difference?”. …it is usually at this moment I fear I have had a stroke and although I think I am making sense, my words are no longer audible.

– A woman walks around the store 4 times. I ask her if I can help her find something. She looks at me, tells me to stop interrupting, and leaves.

So there you have it. Another glimpse into the daily life of That girl in the red coat. I am hoping that people have caught wind of my Tales of Truth and are coming into the shop in hopes of appearing in one of my Tales. …Sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Why I am so fucking happy

July 4, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 4 Comments

First and foremost, if the above title offends you, it was not my intent. You see, this morning I had a customer ask me “Why are you always so fucking happy?!?”. Yep. I had been open all of 15 minutes and this is the question posed to me after I had asked this gentleman, who is a regular customer of the shop, how he was today. Today’s tale is for my peeps in the service industry, actually, for people in general.

In my younger years, a morning greeting like that would have set the tone for my whole day. It would have ruined my day, kept me from smiling in fear of offending another customer. I would have played the scenario over and over in my head, wondering why I had to be so happy. Today…not so much. (A little back story. This gentleman has been buying his wife’s hairspray from me for over 3 years. The first time I asked him how he was he answered “old and miserable and I hate my cane!”. The second time he came to the shop, I asked him how he was and he answered “older and more miserable”. I saw he no longer had his cane and said “Hey! No more cane to hate!” to which he smirked and picked up a can of Sebastian Shaper Plus.). Back to the tale at hand…I looked said gentleman straight in the eye and said “…well the sun is shining, the humidity is out of the air, my coffee is still hot and I am having a good hair day.”. He just stared at me. I just smiled. As we were waiting for the debit machine to finish up his transaction, he looked at me and said “Sure…that explains today…what about all the other times I am in here?”. Faster that the fastest gun in the west I answered “I thought I should be the happy one since it seems the other position seems to be filled”. Then I added a wink to my smile. He actually smirked and said “see ya next time kiddo”.

The point of today’s tale? Well Beauties, in my 20+ years in sales and customer service, I have learned a thing or two, and am here to pass along these helpful tidbits;

– when you are providing good customer service – acknowledging your customer, listening to your customer and assisting your customer, the customer’s bad mood has nothing to do with you. They are used to getting poor service, or not being listened to, or not receiving any help at all. Maybe they have just had a fight with their hubby, or their child is in the principal’s office, again. Maybe they have a run in their pantyhose. Trust me, it’s not about you. In my experience, many a bad mood or even a flat iron being thrown in my direction was because of a death in the family, a loss of a marriage, a loss of a job, or the loss of self – the saddest of losses.

– when a woman comes into a Salon, she is coming in with a dream, of what will be or of what once was. It is our job to bring that dream to reality. We may not be able to deliver the exact vision, but with a proper consultation about color, styling techniques, styling products that are needed and the time involved, she will leave feeling like her dream came true.

– there are the sales you got, and the sales you don’t. I have said it before and will say it again, there are those who would yell at Christ for being too slow turning their water into wine. Some people just want to reside in their house of misery – do not let them invite you in.

– in my experience, the more positive you are, the more negative people want to bring you down to their level because that is where they are comfortable and positivity scares the hell out of them- not because they are assholes…well, not all of them.

– whatever it may be, a new hair style, the newest summer shade from the OPI collection, your favorite hairspray being on sale – if it makes you happy, be happy. Be excited. Call me corny, trust me, I have been called worse, like the song says “if your happy and you know it, then you really oughta show it.”.

I have learned some hard lessons. Life is short. Plans change. You have no control over what is going to happen or what others may think or say or if your favorite hairspray is going to be on back order. All you can control is you and how you treat yourself and treat others. I have a loving family. I have a beautiful daughter who is my wish come true. I have a husband who loves me and after 22 years, still likes me and I him. I have a career in an industry that I love. I have wonderful friends. I have my health. I have a home…and that, kind sir, is why I am so fucking happy.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

…it just isn’t practical

June 21, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

Last week as I was scrolling through my twitter feed, I came across a link to a commencement speech delivered by Jim Carrey. Something he said has resonated in me ever since… “so many of us choose our path out of fear…disguised as practicality.”.

As you all know, I am the manager of a Salon/retail shop. I am also a wife, a mother and a daughter. I am also a person who used to think I was making the responsible choices, the practical choices when it came to my life decisions, be it a new hair style, a new hair color, what car to buy, what job to take, hell…even when was the proper time to introduce my child to the horror movie genre. Since entering my forties and getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy) I have come to realize most of my decisions were not based on practicality. They were based on fear of judgement, fear of ridicule, fear of non acceptance. They were made by fear, disguised as practicality. ( I will be forever grateful to Jim Carrey for putting into words a thought that I could not articulate). I am also a person who no longer allows fear to make my decisions and am here to tell you that you also can be such a person.

Everyday at the shop, I am sad to say, I hear someone, man , woman or child – take your pick, give up and give into fear, disguised as practicality. A few people stand out in my mind.They have since become customers of the shop and some have become clients of our Salon. Here are their tales.

A woman came in the shop and stood staring at the display of the Babyliss Miracurl. (an awesome styling tool – full head of curls in 10 minutes!). I asked her if she had any questions or if she needed a hand finding something. She let me know that she had always wanted to have curly hair. I asked her if she wanted to try our demo model to which she said “I better not. I have been told in the past that curls will make my face look fatter than it already is. …and people would just think I am trying to look younger than I am.”. So I asked her “Do you think that your face will look fatter?”. She said no. So I told her to go ahead and curl her hair and not give anyone else’s negative opinions a second thought. Then I pulled my hair back to the side and showed her how I shaved the underside of my hair…because I like it. She smiled and bought a curling iron.

A gentleman came into the shop. He asked me if anyone else was in the shop because he wanted to speak to me about his receding hairline and didn’t want anyone else to know about it. I let him know it was just him and I. He let me know that he had been concerned about his hair loss for a while, but thought trying to do something about it would make him seem vain and that he would be seen as an old man wasting his money. I reassured him that it was not vain – wanting to be happy and wanting to like your reflection is not vain, he was not wasting his money – Nioxin is an award winning system to help prevent hair loss and promote a healthy scalp and that he was not old – 100 is old, not 62. We spent 20 minutes going over the products and I showed him their website. He thanked me for my professionalism, and for not laughing at him, like others before me had done. He left with product in hand and a spring in his step.

A young woman came in the shop to buy some shampoo. We got to chatting and she told me how she had a chance to move out west and go to school. I congratulated her and asked when she was leaving. She said she wasn’t going to go. I asked her “Why not?”. She told me that she didn’t know anyone out there and wouldn’t know how to get around the city. I asked her “In a perfect world…would you go?” to which she said “Yes.”. I told her “There’s your answer. You gotta go. You will meet people. You can use the GPS on your phone to find your way around.” to which she smirked a little. I reminded her this is the perfect time to go and try something for herself – no kids, no marriage, no mortgage, no ties. I reminded her, she can always come back. I am happy to say, she came in last week to stock up on her favorite hairspray, in case they don’t have it in Vancouver.

Ladies and gents, it’s time to become a little more impractical. It is time to let go of the fear of the unknown, the fear of judgement, the fear of ridicule. It is time to remove all the excuses from your mind’s itinerary – the excuses that shout; What will people think? What will the neighbors say? I can’t because of the kids, I can’t because of my parents, I am too old, I am too young, I can’t. …we all have ’em. It’s time to begin listening for the whispers of; I can. Go for it. Try. …those whispers are there. Once you remove the shouts, and remove the practicality, remove the fear, the whispers are heard.

If I was being practical, I wouldn’t be telling you this tale, I wouldn’t be married to the love of my life, I wouldn’t be the mother to a fantastic and beautiful daughter, I wouldn’t be the manager of a Salon/retail shop, I wouldn’t be me. I would be the version of me that fear dictated…and quiet frankly, it just isn’t practical.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth Part 11

June 16, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ’round for another installment of Tales of Truth. Last week was the week of the full moon and Friday the 13th., so you can imagine what yours truly got to hear and got to see. As always, the following tales are based on real events…sigh.

– I hear the chirp of the Salon’s door chime. A regular customer comes up to the counter and says she needs my opinion. I say “Sure! What can I help you with?”. She proceeds to come behind the counter, lifting her skirt as she walks. I stopped her dead in her tracks, put my hand up and said “You can keep your skirt down. Let me guess…you want to ask me if red bumps after waxing is normal” to which she looked at me like I was Dionne Warwick and I was her new psychic bff. “YES! How did you know without seeing?”. ….double sigh

– A woman came in to buy her hairspray and she was concerned about leaving the hairspray in the car as she ran errands because it was such a hot day. I reassured her that if she put it in the trunk, it should be fine. She was quite relieved. As we were waiting for the debit machine to connect, she became a little anxious. “Can you hurry this up? I left my dog in the car!”. …wait for it…there you go.

– We carry products that are vegan and certified organic. I had a customer ask me if they were packaged on a farm. I let her know that they weren’t packaged on a farm, they were packaged in a factory. She then began to tell me that there was no way the products could be organic because they weren’t packaged on a farm.

– I have a dish of candies at our front desk for our customers and clients, to add a little sweetness to their day. A woman asked me if the candies were free of charge. I let her know that they were and to help herself. She couldn’t believe that I would just give away candy so she left a quarter on the counter “just in case I was trying to pull one over on her”.

– Later that same day I had a woman ask if the candies were free, I let her know that they were and to please help herself. She dug through the bowl and took all the red candies, 10 in total. How do I know it was 10? She counted out loud…people, I shit you not…this really happens.

– From time to time companies will offer a bonus size hairspray that retails for the same price of the regular size bottle. The bonus size can be up to 300 ml more than the regular retail size bottle – it’s like getting two for the price of one. I had a woman get down right angry that all I had in stock were the bonus size cans. She didn’t like them and thought they looked tacky. I let her know that although she may not like the look of the bottle it was a great savings. Her exact words to me were “Who are they to decide that I want to save money?”.

– As I was ringing through a purchase, my customer complimented me on my hair. I thanked her and let her know that our stylists in our Salon do my color for me. “Oh, is that why whenever I come here I hear blow dryers and the chatter?” …I just smiled and handed her a Salon price list. As she was leaving she looked back and said “Thank you! This makes so much sense now.”.

– A woman came in looking for nail polish. I took her over to our OPI and China Glaze displays. When she noticed my sign “please do not try on polishes, please ask for assistance with the swatches” she remarked that she couldn’t believe people would actually open up products and try them out. She chose her polish and said she was just going to look around. Not ten seconds later do I hear “ppffffftttt” – I came around the corner to her trying two different hairsprays, one on each side of her head “Oh…I am just trying them out. I just want to see which one holds better”.

…triple sigh.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

My Dad, Meatloaf and me

June 15, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

After 22 years, the retail gods have smiled upon me and yours truly has Saturday’s off from the Salon – a rare occurrence in our industry. At our shop I am needed more from Monday to Friday, as the owner is in the shop every Saturday if a customer service issue should arise. As I was running errands yesterday, the sunshine warming my soul, windows down, a fresh cool breeze blowing my hair out of my face, a song came on the radio that catapulted me back to 1977, Camaro’s, Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell and memories of my Dad. Those of you familiar with my tales know of my musical references – My love of music comes from my Dad. He would blare Bat out of Hell with the windows down in the Camaro.(for a 7 year old driving past the cute boy’s house…this was a BIG deal). He would sing along to The Guess Who and Gordon Lightfoot. He would play me chords of his favorite Beatles songs on his guitar. He taught me the difference between Bach and Bachman Turner Overdrive.

I am going to give you all a little glimpse behind the curtain. Who I am today has a lot to do with my Dad. (to the rest of my clan…calm down…love you too…). You see, I was not your typical little girl. Sure, I played with Barbie’s, I would dress them up, have them pretend to go on dates. I would also pretend that they were beating up bullies and would get out my markers and draw a black eye on the receiver of the final blow. I didn’t like wearing dresses…unless it was my birthday or there was a promise of a photo op. (when I was little I firmly believed that a movie director would see me one day and say “finally…we found her”.). I was the kid who beat up the bullies or took down the kid hurting the neighbourhood cats. I was also the kid who slept with 20 stuffed animals (my protector’s from things that go bump in the night) and every so often went to bed wearing my housecoat and slippers in case there was a fire, I was prepared. I loved sports and was known to twirl after I scored a goal or hit a home run. I could go from Rocky Balboa to Dorothy Gale in 3.2 seconds…and my Dad never tried to change that. Ever. Even throughout my turbulent teens, hell, my early adulthood, he always gave me a soft place to fall. My Dad let me be whoever I had to be at the time. He forgave my anger. He let me have my anger without judgement. My Dad gave me the space and the time to find myself…the person he always knew I was, just that I had forgotten.

Whenever I am feeling a little lost, or can’t seem to get past a block in the road, I listen to Meatloaf. Yep. Meatloaf. With my headphones on and the tunes cranked up, unbeknowst to my Dad (until now), I am reminded of who I am. I am that girl who can do anything she wants, be anything she wants and am off like a Bat out of Hell.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

If you are a stylist…you are a sales person

May 20, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 3 Comments

Ladies and Gents, we are in the business of Beauty. Yes…the business, and as in every business, sales and selling are what keeps the business alive,competitive and profitable. “Oh…I’m not a sales person.”. “I am a hairstylist…not a sales person.”. Two of the most common phrases I hear from hair stylists and Salon owners. Today’s tale is to put this myth to rest. Yeah, I said myth. … convincing a woman to give you 3 hours out of her hectic schedule and pay you $175.00 for hair color – if that isn’t selling than I don’t know what is.

I manage an independently owned retail shop/salon, and I can tell you, in all honesty, that our retail sales make up for over 70% of the salon’s revenue. Yep…you read that correctly, 70%. Many of my customers are the clients of other Salons. Salons that don’t retail any product, or sell the products that they have on their shelves. I am on the front lines, so to speak, and am here to tell you that your clients and customers want their hair to look the same between appointments and are willing to spend that little extra if it means that their hair will look good and feel good. Your clients and customers need to be taught about their products, how much to use and how often. There is a need that is not being met…well, I am meeting it. You can too. You can. Think about it, you have your client in your chair for at least 45 minutes. That is 45 minutes that you can discuss the shampoo, the conditioner, the conditioning treatment, the styling products, the hair dryer and the flat iron you are using on them that day. You can have them smell the products, feel how the dryer’s handle fits their hand, and show them how to adjust the temperature on the flat iron. 45 minutes. There are moments that I have 6 retail customers at once and I have 5 minutes to explain products and how to use them. If I can sell $75.00 worth of product in 5 minutes, imagine what you can potentially sell in 45 minutes.

All professional hair care lines offer product knowledge classes. All professional hair care lines have their own websites that offer a break down of each product, their features and benefits to each hair type. Every bottle offers a description of what the product is used for, and how to use it. It is time to educate yourself and your Salon staff. It really is that simple. At least 3 -5 times a week I am on my lap top or my phone, with my customer right beside me, looking up a product, or showing them a tutorial on You tube. The information is out there. It’s time to find it and use it. Being me, I have compiled a little list for you, a retail aid if you will.

– First and foremost – stop fearing the sale. When you are telling your client about the product you are using in their hair, you are having a conversation. …if you are able to tell them about your nightmare of a date last week, you can tell them about the hairspray you are using.

– remind your client that their new hair color is an investment in themselves, and that is it a worthy investment, that using Salon professional shampoo and conditioner, like the one you use on them each visit, will prolong the vibrancy of their color and nourish their hair to keep it looking like they just left the Salon.

– while using your flat iron, explain to your client the difference between the quality of professional hair care tools and department store brands. In my experience, once my customer understands the difference, the question of what to buy and where to buy it is answered. The value of Salon professional products has been explained. Not sure where to begin? Check out my Salon Tale;

To go where no flat iron has gone before

– when your client tells you they love their hair, tell them that if they use the products you used that day that they can love their hair everyday. Offer them 5 more minutes of your time to show them how to use the product.

– offer a complimentary consultation on how to use products. Many times, in my experience, my customers have the proper products at home, they are usually using too much or too little, or the application of the product can be improved. Many of my new customers purchase their products from me because I offered this service to them.

– ask your clients/customers if they are happy with their hair. Their answer will give you all the information you need. You will find out that their hair goes limp by noon, or their frizz is getting out of control. Let them know that you have products that can help them, and offer to show them how to use them.

– explain the value of Salon professional hair care products. I personally go around to check on prices at the drug store and department store. Many of the products are $1 – $3 less than Salon professional products. I explain this to my customers and remind my customers that Salon professional products are higher quality and more concentrated = less product used and more money saved. …and their hair will look and feel terrific.

It’s time to make retail a priority in your Salon, plain and simple. Retail in the Salon is a win/win. Your clients hair care needs are being taken care of, their personal investment in themselves is being nurtured and protected and your Salon has added revenue. Take the time to talk with your clients, educate your clients and not only will you have made a sale, you will have created a customer.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Deal with it.

May 18, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

The last month has been a real eye opener, not only at the Salon, but everywhere I look, and with every conversation I have. Maybe the planets are aligned..or misaligned for that matter. Maybe it is due to getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy). Maybe it is that I am on the cusp of my 42nd birthday…who knows. All I know is this, “If you don’t deal with your shit…your shit is gonna deal with you” (came across this a few months ago…and ain’t it the truth). From a woman who thought that becoming a blonde at home would be nice & easy and make her partner take notice, a woman thinking that a pixie cut was all she needed to make her boss see her worth for that promotion to V.P. of marketing and a woman thinking she had everything under control because she made a list everyday…I have seen it all. What did they all have in common? Masking the real issues…not dealing with their shit. No amount of box dye will fix the problems in the bedroom, or will take chocolate brown tresses to platinum blonde. A great hair cut may get you some attention, but a great head shot does not a great V.P. make. As for the list maker, sure, you may be organized, but as you check off “sew button on shirt”, your child may have hurt feelings that need mending. You checked off “pick up cupcakes” for the family celebration…but you weren’t present. “Pick up prescriptions” -checked off, listened to hubby’s response to how he was feeling – but didn’t really hear him. Ladies & Gents, I know of what I speak, for yours truly is the list maker. It took me almost 42 years, I finally realized, lists are great, for the grocery store, for daily chores. They are meant to keep your tasks organized – not your life. Big difference. HUGE.

Sorry to disappoint, I will not be sharing the personal tales of my own shit dealing with me – for not all the tales are mine to share and I respect the privacy of my beautiful girl and my lovely hubby. The purpose for today’s tale is to remind you, and myself to ease up, slow down, pay attention and be present. It is true Beauties – if you don’t deal with your shit…your shit is gonna deal with you – and your shit doesn’t care what time of day, where you are or who you are with…it’s gonna pop up and deal with you. So take it from me, it’s best to deal with it, what ever it may be. Shit ain’t always pretty – hence the fitting name – shit. It’s gotta be dealt with. It’s gotta be said. It’s gotta be hashed out, then it’s gotta be put down and left there. Not just for those you love, but for yourself.

– want to spice it up in the boudoir? Talk to your partner…sometimes renting a movie (nudge nudge, wink wink) is all you need to get new idea’s brought up…pun intended.

– if your partner thinks blondes are more fun, save yourself the cost of a color correction and buy a wig – trust me…they aren’t looking at your hair color… they’re not.

– want that new promotion? Get your credentials together. Put together a presentation about you and why they need you – not why you need them.

– when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Really hear them. Put down your phone, look up from your laptop, mute the television and pay attention. If you aren’t listening, you can miss what is being said, and damage can be done, feelings can be hurt.

– when someone is ill or has a health issue – let them bring it up. They know what they are going through, they know how they are feeling. They do not need to be reminded of it, with every conversation.

– when your child wants to speak to you, stop and listen. It may be about the cute puppy they saw on YouTube or it may be about the funny thing their bff said. It may also be about how they are feeling about their reflection…pay attention.

As for lists, if you have to make a list, remember it is only a piece of paper with some things written on it. It will not explode in 10 minutes if all tasks are not crossed off by 2 p.m. …something I gotta remember.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Great Expectations

May 4, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

Spring is upon us. Yes, I know Mother Nature is taking her sweet time welcoming Spring across the threshold, I assure you, Spring is in the air. Every year, around this time is when it begins. Ladies and Gents are looking to brighten up their lives and change it up a bit after their Winter hibernation, and usually the change begins with their hair, usually with the holy trinity of hair – a new cut, a new style and a new color. Today’s tale is to help you and your stylist make the transition to the new and improved you a positive experience, where the only tears shed are tears of joy.

We’ve all been there. Flipping through our favorite fashion magazine or surfing the beauty pins on Pinterest and at long last, our lifetime search for the perfect hairstyle appears in front of our eyes. The clouds part, the sun’s rays illuminate the image before us and in the distance we hear the faint echo of the angel’s singing. We run to the nearest Salon, the picture that the heaven’s bestowed on us in hand and burst through the door exclaiming “I want my hair to look like this!”. First things first…unless you are Jennifer Lopez, you will not look like Jennifer Lopez. We can help you have hair that looks like her hair (with an investment of some hair extensions), we cannot make you an exact replica. For those familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I have told you that when you want to change your hair it is always best to bring a picture (a color picture) with you to your appointment. This being said, you have to remember that the picture is a guide line for the stylist, they may not be able to achieve the exact color or cut you desire – hence why honesty on your part and a proper consultation by your stylist is key. Being me, I have compiled a little list for you all, a guide line of sorts;

– when looking to change your hair color, be prepared that the color you desire may not be able to be achieved in one appointment – if you have been using box dye to achieve your raven black locks and have now decided you can rock the golden tresses of Khaleesi, no amount of dragon fire will make that achievable in one appointment.

– many …not all, but many of the women you see on the pages of your favorite fashion magazine are wearing extensions, either for length or volume or both.

– ALL the hair styles you see have one thing in common – PRODUCT. To achieve volume, hold or texture, you must use styling products and styling tools. *Many styling products that are created to help you achieve volume are thermally activated – you need to use a hair dryer for the best results.

– always let your stylist know if you have been using a box dye at home. There is no judgement – the stylist needs to know that there is a possibility of the color going a little funky. When the stylist is aware of what they may have to deal with, they can mix the color accordingly to achieve the desired result, or as close to it as possible.

– when looking to change your hair style, ALWAYS ask the stylist how much daily effort it takes on your part to keep up the style. Find out if you need to have a flat iron to achieve the desired look, or if you need a pomade and a hairspray. * In my decade of experience in Salon Retail many times the cut and color given were spot on, at the Salon. Unfortunately the stylist at the Salon the customer went to never explained how to style the new ‘do, nor was any direction given on what tools, styling or otherwise were needed.

– REDS. One thing you must know if you are going to color your hair red. It will fade. No matter what you do, it will fade. The red molecule is too big to properly penetrate the hair, so it will fade the quickest. Reds have the most upkeep, so if you like to go to the Salon every 8 – 10 weeks, red may not be the color for you. * Sulfate free shampoo’s can help retain the vibrancy of your reds a little longer – Joico Color Endure is now sulfate free.

*** NEW ADDITION to the Joico Family – Color Infuse Red – a color depositing Shampoo and Conditioner to bring the life back to your fabulous red tresses!

– many of the vibrant colors tend to fade quicker than the other shades. Healthy Sexy Hair has an awesome product to help keep your vibrant locks bright – Reinvent Color Care Top Coat. This gem is suitable for all hair types. It is a clear coat for your hair – think of a top coat for your nails – this product is a top coat for your hair color. It also gives a boost to the color in between services by adding more gloss and sheen.

– you will have regrowth. The hair color penetrates the hair, not the scalp. Once your hair begins to grow, you will have a line of regrowth. If regrowth bugs you, or you don’t have the time for root touch ups every 3 weeks, there are many options open to you. One of the most popular is the Ombre or Reverse Ombre….or, like yours truly, have blonde on top and dark underneath so when my roots come in it looks like it’s on purpose….smoke & mirrors baby….smoke and mirrors.

– pixie cuts are great, I have had every imaginable pixie cut known to man. A pixie cut, although short requires maintenance and product, something to think about if you are just a wash & go kind of girl.

– for my Gents – there are great hairstyle options for you today. Most require a little time and effort on your part, so if you are like your female counter parts and do not want to fuss with your hair, the New Side Part may not be for you.

– another for my lovely Gents – your beard and your moustache require a little attention and product as well. American Crew has a great product line for shaving and facial hair maintenance – American Crew Shave.

One last little bit of advice. If you are feeling the need to change your hair, or your hair color, be sure it is your need. Changing your hair or yourself for that matter, for any one other than yourself, will always end in tears and frustration. You will never be happy with your reflection because it is not the reflection you want. Hair color mishaps can be corrected, hair will grow, clothes can be returned or given to charities. A broken spirit or lack of love of your reflection is not as easily repaired.

Everyone has their own definition of beauty. Be your own kind of beautiful.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hold Factor

April 14, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

I really was going to tell a tale of hairspray and the difference between the level of hold, or hold factor different sprays have, alas, that will have to be another tale for another time. As I began to write about hold factors, I found myself thinking about the hold factor of people, emotions and thoughts we allow in our lives. …what can I say, I have had 4 cups of coffee and this is how my mind works. As you know, I manage a Retail shop/Salon. The Salon is a place that men and women come to feel better about themselves, to improve their reflection, to find what was once lost. Some days, ours is a place of refuge from the pushes and pulls of their daily lives. It is their escape from whatever may have a hold on them that day – be it a sick child, an aging parent and more often than not, an escape from what they really think of themselves – or what they think they are supposed to think of themselves.

For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know that I haven’t always been the confident, classy, sassy and a tad smart-assy woman that I am today. I have been the young woman who missed out on trips to the beach because I wasn’t “beach body ready”. I have been the woman who was afraid to leave the house without her make up on. I have been the mother feeling like a failure because I thought it was protocol to drop my child off at the Birthday party, not stay and stand in line for my turn at pin the tail on the donkey. …speaking of which, whatever happened to dropping your kid off at their friends birthday party and picking them up when the party is over?…back to the tale at hand. I have been the woman who was judged because her 3 year old daughter knew the words to Domino by KISS. I have been the woman who put her dreams on the back burner out of fear of judgement from those who told me that “as a mother, to be fulfilled, your children should be enough.”. – now I know that they were drinking their own kool aid. …wait for it…there you go.

Today’s tale is aimed at all the Ladies and Gents (yes Gents – men have hold factors too Ladies), to remind you that you are enough, that you are worth what ever you think you are worth – and only your opinion matters.

– For all the mothers out there – we are supposed to be in this together. If you are a stay at home mom or a working mom – we love our kids the same, we have the same worries and hopes for our children, we our mothers – no better, no worse. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5 – that was a personal choice that worked best for my family. Never once did I shun the working mom – if anything I asked if she needed my help. An additional tale for your viewing pleasure;

Beware of yoga pants & ponytails

– Do you have a dream? Is there something you have always wanted to do, ever since you can remember? Then do it. As parents, the best thing we can do for our children is pursue our passions and chase our dreams. How are our children going to learn to dream if we don’t show them how?

– Go to the beach. Just go. Forget about being “beach body ready” and go and have fun. No matter what your weight or bust size – we all get sand in our suits.

– Unless your name is on the birthday invitation to little Johnny’s birthday party – you do not have to stay at the party. Trust me, the parents that frown when you drop off your child and ask “what time should I pick them up?” are wishing they had the guts to do the same.

– Ladies and Gents – let your spouses/partners choose the hair style they like, that they feel most comfortable with, that makes them feel desirable. It doesn’t matter how good you think a certain cut will look on them if it makes them feel ugly and inadequate.

– The above goes for stylists as well. Never let a stylist tell you what cut you should have. It is a stylist’s job to help you find the look you want, not tell you the look you want. If you aren’t sure about making a drastic change with your hair, don’t do it.

– I once read that “worrying is praying for what you don’t want” – remember that the next time you worry about the opinions of others.

– If you want to change your hair color – go for it.*at the Salon. Becoming a blonde was the best thing I ever did. It hides my gray’s and I do have a lot of fun …proving that blondes are NOT dumb.

– Introduce your children to music, from Mozart to Metallica. Music will open their minds and lift their spirits, no matter what the genre.

In the wee small hours of the morning, all that matters is what you think. All that matters is you have done your best and that you will continue to strive for better. All that matters is that you are kind. All that should be important is what you deem to be so. The only hold factor you should be concerned about is the hold factor of your favorite styling product.