Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Wishes for a Happy New Year…and for years to come

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So here it is, New Years Eve 2013 and I am calm. I am hopeful. I am…content.

In past years, this day was either filled with anxiety over not having plans or having too many plans, freaking out that my dress was too tight, hating my hair or my mind was filled with shoulda’s, coulda’s and woulda’s. This year…not so much. For the first time in I don’t know how long, a New Year approaching doesn’t seem as daunting. You see, I finally got it. I finally became accountable for myself and my actions. I finally admitted my shortcomings and moments of malcontent were down to me. Yep. Me. …trust me, ask my hubby or anyone who knows me for that matter…this was not an easy thing for me to admit. I had been known in the past to blame retailers and  Mother Nature herself for my ass not fitting into my jeans…between the store not having the exact shade of grey yoga pants I so desired that would match the treadmill and well… with the cold winds and rain I couldn’t go outside for a walk. …oh come on, like you haven’t blamed the Keebler Elves for your pant size. Back to the tale at hand.

I have a glorious truth to share…once you stop blaming others for your unhappiness and malcontent, let go of your fear and take your emotions, decisions and dreams into your own hands, great things begin to happen. They do. Take a look at yours truly.(well, it is my blog, so yeah, I’m gonna talk about me once and a while.). I took a leap of faith and let go of my fears and put that energy into believing in myself and within 18 months I have the blog I dreamed of doing, a twitter following filled with people who inspire me on a daily basis (and are pretty cool), I was invited to attend the Contessa’s.  I am a contributor to http://www.salonmagazine.ca. I am a contributing author to http://www.hairstyle-blog.com and http://www.visual-makeover.com. I am a contributor to http://www.girlbodypride.com. On a daily basis at my shop, I am helping women and men to love their hair, to find the beauty that they thought they lost, or never had. I am helping Salon owners and stylists improve their customer service skills and helping them to realize that retail is a vital part of their Salon’s experience. I no longer hold back my confidence in myself, or hold back my knowledge of product or service. *the biggest perk…since I am happier, so are my loved ones.

Hence today’s New Year’s wish for you. May the coming days and the coming years bring you peace. May serenity find its way to your door and into your hearts. May you find the courage to attempt what ever it is you want to do – from opening up your own Salon to finally being able to quit smoking. May you find the confidence to ask for that raise or to tell that special someone that you love them, or to be able to let your loved one know that they need help and that you will have their back. May you begin to find the beauty that is in your life, right now.

Wishing you a Happy New Year

With Love and Gratitude,

That girl in the red coat

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

It’s time to be a little more social

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Everywhere you look, you see someone with a cellphone. The majority of us, after our morning greeting and good morning smooch to our loved ones (…and I hope your loved ones come first), grab our coffee and our cell phone, find a comfy spot and sit down to see what’s going on in the world. Facebook – check. Twitter – check. Instagram – check. Pinterest – check….you get the idea. Social media is our morning paper and our evening news. It is. It is also a key ingredient to any successful Salon. It is. Today’s tale is for my beloved Salon owners and Stylists. It’s time to become a little more social.

I know of what I speak. I see the results of using social media everyday. It works, plain and simple. Everyday I see the results of making sure our shop’s Facebook page is updated. (Twitter is an awesome tool as well, but more people tend to use Facebook, in my experience). I hear you now “what results could she possibly see?”. Well, how about an increase in our retail sales and revenue, and more client retention because of the tips about products shared on our Facebook page. Every day, at least 100 people see our posts. Some days my posts on the shop’s Facebook page have reached over 500 people. Yep…500 potential customers and clients. On any given day, I will receive a message from a customer or client about a product I have posted to our Facebook page. Many times the message ends with “hold one for me – I will be there after work!”. I have sold many products from hairspray to flat irons to holiday packs this way. Using social media has helped me acquire new customers and in turn new “likes” to our Facebook page. (psssst…more likes = more views and shares of your page and your posts = more clients and customers).

*It’s a great tool to introduce a new stylist to your customers and clients. Also, to alert your clients when a stylist has returned from a maternity leave.

*Changing your hours to Holiday Hours? Post ’em on your page

*Having a monthly draw? Post the picture on your page

*Follow the pages of the products you sell & share their tips and tricks – a HUGE retail aid!

*Bringing in a new line? Post it on your page

Something I hear far too often from Salon owners, Managers and Stylists is “I don’t have the time to do that.”. Okay, if you don’t have time to do it, get someone in your Salon to do it for you. I’m sure you have someone in your Salon that has their cell phone in arms reach. The owner at our shop is also our head stylist, and is booked 2 months ahead, all the time. She really doesn’t have the time, so that is why I was given administration rights to our Facebook page and I take care of the Facebook page, because I do have the time. Honestly, it takes 10 – 30 minutes of your day. I add it into my daily duties, so it isn’t missed. Orders made – check. Inventory counted – check. Schedule done – check. Facebook page updated – check. It really is that easy.

Social media can be a great marketing tool for your Salon, if used properly. I stress the word properly. We have all seen the sassy limericks – save those for your personal pages, this is a business and needs to be seen as such. Watch the language and the content. Put it this way – if you wouldn’t want your clients and customers hearing those words coming out of your mouth…then don’t put it on your Facebook page.

Social media works and can be a huge addition to your Salon’s client retention and retail revenue. It’s time to make it work for you.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized

Stood up

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You know, when I was 16 and my date never showed, it hurt. My saving grace of being a teen of the 80’s is that I could make up a reason for the no show. You see, this is before the age of Facebook and Twitter. Before the age of cell phones and texting. Sure, some had car phones but at $10.00 a second, not much talk time was to be had. So, in my teenage mind I could tell myself “Oh, he probably tried to call when my Mom was on the phone but kept getting a busy signal”, or “He is probably stuck somewhere and the pay phone is out of order”.

The reason for the above little ditty? Well, last week, your truly was stood up. Twice. Yep. Twice. Who stood me up you ask? My sales reps. – and they were the ones who made the appointment with me! I was not and am not impressed, for a multitude of reasons. Now my much needed stock will take longer to arrive – empty shelves are the enemy of any business. I had products that I did not order but was charged for waiting for pick up so the owner’s account could be credited, so now the credit will take that much longer. I had to call my customer’s that I had placed a special order for and had to tell them it is going to be a longer wait – that makes for a fun Monday morning. Most of all, what really burned my butt – my time is not seen nor treated as important nor is the business I am trying to run and build. It is my word and my reputation on the line, and I, like the majority of Salon owners, do not like being left looking the fool.

In the age of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, cell phones and texting, there is no excuse for a no show. There is no excuse for being stood up. This isn’t 1986 and you got a better offer for a date to the dance so you didn’t show up or call, this is business and should be treated as such. I understand events can happen that are out of your control. A quick text “gotta reschedule” would suffice. Call your customer service desk and let them know what is going on so when I have to call them at the end of the day to place my order, they can let me know what is going on.

If you want my business, let me give you a little helpful hint…it helps if you show up.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Sunday Confession

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Today’s tale is for the young ladies and the mother’s out there. Today’s tale is also a personal one. It is a confession of sorts. I am not in a church, I am not catholic, not a priest’s profile through a screen to be seen (I think it’s a screen, like I said, I am not catholic.).

As you know, I am  a manager of a Salon/Retail shop. Want to know something funny about that? For most of my life I thought I was ugly. Yep, my career and passion is in the beauty biz and I used to be the girl who thought I was too ugly to get my picture taken, thought I was too ugly to go to my neighborhood’s block party when I was 14, I thought I was too fat to go to the clubs with my girlfriends – something only I knew. I did everything in my power to hide this fact from everyone. I look back at the pictures I allowed myself to be in and I want to give myself a shake. I was pretty. I was not fat. I actually had a nice ass, not a fat ass like a lovely girl pointed out in grade 10.

Everyday, yes, I am sad to say, I hear young girls say the most horrible things about themselves, or worse, I hear the mother of the young girl say horrible things about her daughter, in front of her daughter.  I am not an expert by any means, I am a woman who wasted many years and missed out on many things all over my lack of self esteem and because I listened to the wrong people and didn’t listen to myself. I wanted to share this tale in hope that a  young girl will read it and realize how awesome she really is. I am a mother of a 16 year old daughter and I hear and see what she goes through, and what her lovely friends go through, so, being me I have compiled a list, a go to list if you will, for those days that are just too much.

– when you get a pixie cut, some people are going to tell you that you look like a boy. You don’t. You look awesome, they just don’t have the guts to be themselves and try something new.

– your oily scalp will go away. It’s hormonal. To help get through this unfortunate phase, a dry shampoo like Joico’s Instant Refresh, Quantum’s Refresher or KMS HAIR PLAY Make Over Spray is an awesome tool to have on hand. Just spray it on your scalp, rub it in and VOILA! Not a oily strand to be seen.

– people who tell you that you are fat are just being assholes. Plain and simple.

– if you are 15 or 40, I am sorry to say, there will always be someone out there that will say something nasty, especially when you are happy. It’s not personal, you just happened to be the nearest target for them to spew their venom at. Trust me, they would yell at Jesus Christ  himself that he wasn’t making the water into wine fast enough.

– if you want to try being a blonde for a while, go for it – AT THE SALON. Do not attempt to do this on your own – it is not nice and easy. It’s not.

– before you judge your mother too harshly, take a look at her relationship with her mother. Sometimes mother’s just don’t know any better. You can’t change it, you can only change how you decide to let it affect you.

– your mom was just as insecure as you are right now. She may still be as insecure as you. To all the mother’s out there, the jig is up. We can’t guide our daughter’s if we are lost ourselves.

– when a friend is being nasty, take a breath and think, will this person be in my life 6 months from now? If the answer is yes, be patient and try to find out what the problem is. If the answer is no, Adios amigo.

– if you are dating a boy who says nasty things to you – DUMP HIM! You can’t fix him.

– your BFF is wonderful, she is also the same age as you, so she can’t help you as much as a counselor or a doctor if you are dealing with an abusive situation at home or have questions about sex. *by the way – jumping up and down after sex will not keep you from getting pregnant. – Yep…2013 and people are still saying that.

– everyone feels the same way you do. EVERYONE. From the head cheerleader to the tuba player in the school band. Some of them just hide it better.

– although it may feel like it, not everyone is looking at you. Sorry to break the news to you, sometimes it isn’t all about you. I know right?! This revelation was a shocker for me too.

– when someone has hurt your feelings, try not to let it control your life. More times than not, they don’t even realize nor care that your feelings are hurt. They are going on with their day without giving you or their words a second thought. Don’t let them live rent free in your head.

It is okay to be yourself. It may get a little scary. You may find certain people distancing themselves from you, and that is okay. They are making room for all the awesome people trying to get into your life, to raise you up, help you see your beauty, to help you be yourself, to help you be happy.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Raising the bar?

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When I was a child, I was the kid who would fight the bully. Not for myself, for my friend, or for the kid being punched, kicked, tripped, be given a wedgie or shoved into a locker. Boy or girl, if you were the bully, sooner or later, we would go toe to toe. Whenever I saw someone being bullied I would get fired up and want to stop it.

Everyday, I am sad to say, I see at least one woman being ugly. Ugly to herself, her child, her stylist or to me. Gossiping about the woman who just left, pointing at her daughter’s oily scalp, teasing her 15 year old son that he must be a girl under all that muscle because he likes his favorite hair gel, or pointing at my (faded) thyroidectomy scar and saying “don’t you want to cover that with a necklace or something?”. It’s time like these that, for a split second, in my minds eye, I am back in the school yard and am about to go toe to toe with the bully.

A few days ago, I read something I found to be pretty ugly.(I try to stay off of the soapbox but couldn’t shake this one.). A well known website with a huge following, aimed at women, empowering women and giving them a voice and a forum, tweeted how they were “going to ask someone to work with them, until they read their Twitter stream.”. You see, they didn’t agree with the opinions/expletives expressed on this person’s Twitter stream. Before you get all “freedom of speech” and “everyone is entitled to their opinion”, calm the hell down and let me explain. For a site that stands for empowering women – how is gossiping empowering? Yes, gossiping. Yeah, I said it.

Think about it, how is tweeting “was gonna choose someone until I read their twitter stream” any different than telling everyone but your stylist that you hate your new color? There is no difference. If you have a problem/issue with someone, speak to them directly. I would not have agreed, but I could have respected them if they had named said “offender”. How many women read that tweet and began to doubt themselves? How many women read that tweet and thought they needed to edit themselves to be accepted into the inner circle of this website that is for women and mothers? How the hell is that empowering? As women, we need to raise each other up, not push each other down. Generations of women fought for our equality, fought for us to have a voice, fought for us to have more options than housewife or secretary, fought for equality in the workplace, fought against the stigma that all women do is gossip and pick apart other women. Heading a company/website/twitter feed that is aimed at empowering women, you need to show some professionalism, and the above was anything but. If the aim was to help women watch what they tweet about and how they handle their twitter feed, they missed the mark. All it did was remind us of the high school cafeteria, being asked to sit at the cool kids table, only to have someone pull the chair out from under us.

I am 100% for free speech. I believe everyone is entitled to an opinion. I am a firm believer in being yourself, saying what you want and allowing others to say what they want. I do not think I need to agree with everyone nor like everyone, nor do they have to agree with me or like me. What I am for is kindness. Plain and simple.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Who knew Qtips could do so much?

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“If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you’d have no friends left” – Marcia Hutchinson. I came across this quote a few months ago, and over the past few days it keeps popping up around me, be it on Facebook, Pinterest or over hearing conversations in the Salon. Funny tale to tell today…well, funny in a “okay, I get it” kind of way.

Confession. I haven’t always been this confident woman you read before you. I was that girl, the one who acted confident but went home everyday thinking she was fat, stupid, dumb, ugly…take your pick of any negative description of a person and that was what I thought I was. Over the past few weeks, I have heard the same phrases coming out of the mouths of the women coming into the shop, and I have let it get to me. You know what they say…what you surround yourself with you become. I started to bring it home with me, which is never a good thing, nothing worse than letting someone get in your head and reside there rent free. The constant negativity compounded with a few personal exclusions over the past few days were the perfect ingredients for a recipe for emotional disaster. Yes, I am 40 but it stills stings me a bit when I am excluded…I’m working on it.

Last night, as I was sitting and pouting, on my twitter feed I came across the above quote and literally right after came across this little gem from @simonsinek “If you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to get used to the idea that not everyone will like you”. (told you this was an “okay I get it” kind of tale). He is right. I know that. I blog about it all the time. I had forgotten. I had let myself wander off my path because it was getting lonely at times. Funny thing is, when you stop being true to yourself, you become more miserable and lonely than you thought you were to begin with.

This morning, I was still a little glum, couldn’t seem to shake my melancholy, then I went into the bathroom and saw that my hubby had refilled the Qtip jar and everything fell into place. Yep, I am that easy to please. In that instant I realized that all the negative thoughts floating around in my head were not mine, they belonged to the woman who yelled at me because the hairspray I had introduced her to that she loves is on back order…until Monday, and to the woman who didn’t understand why exchanging her flat iron was so easy to do and disappointed that the process didn’t take 20 minutes like she had planned it would. (seriously folks…I WISH I was making this up). All the anger I had towards my family was not my own, it belonged to the woman who’s husband had found a new love and to the gentleman who was angry at his wife because he had to pick up her hair color and she “never” does anything herself. I do like my hair, and I do think I look good and am proud of it. I don’t down play myself because I am now 40 and as the lovely woman in jogging pants and rubber boots so lovingly pointed out “putting on jewelry and doing your hair when you are over 35 is stupid”.( I got to meet this gem in the 1-8 item line at the grocery store…she had 9 items by the way).

It is so important to be kind, not just to others, but to ourselves. We teach people how to treat us (thank you Maya Angelou) and, although I hate to admit my faults, over the past few days I have been responsible for the negativity coming my way. I was letting it get to me and become the lesson I was teaching to all who crossed my path. With a little help from my Twitter feed and  a jar of Qtips, I have a new lesson plan.

Beauty, communication, entertainment, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

The lady has guts

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I started this blog to share the tales of my daily escapades in the shop/salon I work in, to give a different perspective, to educate and enlighten the masses about the world of beauty. There is something I feel I need to share with you all, an  educational tool if you will. Although today’s blog isn’t about hairspray or rash ravaged bikini lines, it is about beauty. The beauty of honesty and pain. Of sharing your story and speaking your truth.

There is a book that kept coming across my path. Every time I was at the book store, there it was. It was never in the section it was supposed to be in. So, I picked it up, flipped it open to a random page and the first thing I read had me laughing. I bought the book. The book is guts by Kristen Johnston. With each chapter I found I myself laughing, crying or shaking my head in acknowledgement, or all three. You may think I am romanticizing (and if so power to you), this book gave me that last little nudge to take a leap of faith in myself. I am not an addict, nor have I battled an addiction in a traditional  sense, but I have battled with the voices in my head saying “You are not good enough”, “You are not pretty enough” and so on. Come on…admit it…we have all been there at least once, ladies and gents alike. Kristen Johnston tells her story truthfully, she puts it out there for all the world to see. Most of us can’t even admit to ourselves in the wee small hours of the morning our shortcomings. I always thought I knew what it meant to have guts. Now I am sure of its definition. Her story confirmed what my father had told me all along…different is good, and she confirmed what I had always felt to be true, sometimes being a smart ass is a good thing.

Here is the reason I am sharing this tale today. I am all for voicing an opinion (if you have been reading my blog you know that) and freedom of speech, when it is the truth, not when it is a lie. Every once and a while I come across or hear an uneducated remark and it gets me a little fired up. Be it about our beloved author, bad hair advice or anything negative in general. (maybe I am entering early menopause…still got the ol’ ovaries).There is difference between being a smart ass and just being an ass.

Choose your words carefully. Do not use the internet as courage. If you won’t say something to someone’s face, maybe you shouldn’t say it at all. Be kind, because in the end, it may be your story being shared.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

What is your lesson for today?

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As I was sipping on my morning coffee, scrolling through my Twitter feed to check the goings on of the world according to Twitter, I couldn’t believe all the negativity and insult. Yeah, I am forty years old and I am still amazed on a daily basis how immature and mean and down right stupid some people and their behavior can be.

Not to get all political, but the feeling is there and I gotta say it. “Anti-Bullying” and “Zero Tolerance” – two terms that I personally think hold no water. Why you ask? Look around…the problem is bigger than ever. In my life I have been bullied. In my daughters life, she has been bullied and at one point almost pressured into being a bully herself until she realized what was going on, came home and talked to me about it…that was a fun conversation. Long story short – her conscience kicked in, she owned up to it to me, her mother (the scariest thing for a kid to do) and apologized to her friend.

What I am getting at is this. Everyday, seriously, EVERYDAY I see or hear grown women being a bully, in front of or directed at their kids. Case and point;

– Mother and daughter come into the shop wanting to return a flat iron, with no box and no receipt. I explain that I need the receipt for proof of purchase and the manufacturer’s warranty states that we need the box as well. The mother, in front of her daughter, leans over the counter, yells “what the F*&! is your problem, just take it back!” and then throws it at me.

– Mother and daughter come in the shop and the mother says, out loud, with other customers around “Look at her hair! It is so oily and gross!”. Nice.

– A woman comes into the store, complaining that her “fat, lazy kids can’t even buy their own hairspray.”. Mother of the year right there folks.

– Mother and daughter refer to each other as “stupid” and “idiot”. Guess I should be more up to date on the newest trending names.

– A woman calls me a “stupid liar” when I say I don’t have the product she is looking for. Tells her daughter, in front of me “sales people are assholes”. When she realizes she is in the wrong store, instead of apologizing, she tugs on her child’s arm, and pulls them out of the store yelling “Why didn’t you tell me we were in the wrong store?”. – my guess…they didn’t want to mess with crazy.

My all time favorite is when people use the phone/Facebook/texting or Twitter as their shield of bravery. The way I see it, if you won’t say it to someone’s face – you probably shouldn’t say it at all. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and from what I see and hear there are a lot of ’em out there. Everyone is also entitled not to listen to an opinion. It is time to grow up a little. It is time to be the grown ups, it is time to be the parent to our kids not their friends. We can be their friends when they are 18. How do you expect your kids to be kind and not be a bully when they see you scream at a perfect stranger, or hear you call a salesperson an asshole? How do you expect them to say a kind word when they have never heard one.

Seriously, does it really matter in your daily life if you don’t agree with the new book a celebrity wrote? If it does, you need a new hobby, I hear knitting is fun. If you don’t like someone’s tweets…un-follow them. Don’t like their face on Facebook…unfriend them. If you don’t like it, don’t look.

When a child is born, they don’t know what kindness is, someone has to teach them. A child doesn’t know what a bully is or how to be one. Someone has to teach them. What lesson are you going to teach today?

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

I’m looking for that girl in the red coat.

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I know that there is a full moon upon us, and it is the second one of the month. It is referred to as a blue moon, which is where “once in a blue moon” comes from. Well, that phrase doesn’t seem to ring true in my life lately for the events of the last few weeks happened more than once.

In the past few weeks any accomplishment has seemed to be belittled or poo-poo’d (don’t like poo-poo’d- call Websters and lets move on), on more than one occasion my thyroid scar has been pointed out and at, I have been questioned (with rolling eyes) about why I do a blog, oh…and my favorite, that my plans are just dreams and a “cute” way to spend my free time. I must admit, I started to let it get to me. I started to believe the hype.

It was at this moment a woman came into the shop and came right up to me and said “I am looking for that girl in the red coat.”. I shit you not.(pardon my french…sorry Dad). You see, thanks to Twitter, I had been tweeting daily affirmations to some of my rockin’ ladies who own businesses in town and she was always part of the tweets so I began to include her in my daily tweets. I shouted “That’s me!!”. I did, I kind of get excited and at 40 years old I shouted. We both laughed as we shook hands. She asked me about the shop, she listened to what I had to say. My ideas were not belittled, I was not told how “cute” my plans were and not a mention of my scar. That night when I got home, as I entered my bedroom, my copy of GUTS by Kristen Johnston fell of my shelf. Again…I shit you not. Again, although in different circumstances, another person reminded me that different is great.

What I am trying to get at without using a bouncing ball over my words is this…Be kind. I know, I have blogged about this before and all you want to know is what conditioning treatment is the best. (Kpak Revitaluxe…but I digress). Trust me, I will continue to blog about product knowledge, customer service and all things Salon. I will also continue to blog about kindness and courtesy. I will continue to blog about lifting each other up, not pummeling each other and our dreams into the ground. I have said it before and will continue to say it, I believe a little fairy dust goes a long way. Sometimes a little kindness helps remind someone of the beauty that is still in this life. Being excited for another person’s accomplishments, no matter how small they seem to you, can make the difference between their success or failure.

…and quite honestly, no amount of hair color, mousse or hairspray can make cruelty beautiful.