Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Let’s clarify the situation

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Everyday at the shop I am asked if I carry a “clarifying shampoo”. The answer is always yes. Almost every professional Salon line has a clarifying shampoo available in a retail size. Before I hand it over to my customer’s, I always ask them why they are looking for a clarifying shampoo. The reason I ask is this – many people have been given the incorrect information about clarifying shampoo’s, and you know me, I gotta educate, I gotta enlighten.

Clarifying shampoo’s are exactly that. They clarify the hair – they remove product build up, mineral deposit/build up (from well water for example), and chlorine buildup. Professional clarifying shampoo’s will not lift color, will not make you more blonde or remove your perm. It isn’t recommended to use a clarifying shampoo if you have just had your hair colored – it could affect the vibrancy of the color – try to wait at least a week or two. Some people have been told a clarifying shampoo will help with dandruff, not always the case. Some people may get a build up of product on their scalp, so yes, a clarifying shampoo would work and stop the flakes. If you suffer from psoriasis or chronic dandruff all a clarifying shampoo is going to do is dry you out more and cause more flakes. – check out my blog “Save your shoulder checks for changing lanes” archived April 2012 for awesome products custom made for those issues. Also, some people have been told clarifying shampoo’s will help with an oily scalp. Again, not always the case. Drying out the scalp may cause the scalp to produce more oil. Suffering from oily scalp? – RUSK Purity, Senscience Specialty Shampoo and JOICO Daily Care treatment shampoo are gems!

You may have heard that clarifying shampoo’s dry out the hair. Yes, in some circumstances they can, usually when they are over used, or not a professional salon brand. Being me, I have compiled a little go to list to clarify the situation…couldn’t help myself.

JOICO Kpak Chelating Shampoo – contains a triple action formula that removes mineral deposits, chlorine and styling product buildup while moisturizing the hair.

KMS HAIR STAY Clarifying Shampoo – leaves your hair feeling clean and healthy, not dry or feeling stripped. Gentle enough for daily use *Great for swimmers!

AG Renew – Mild yet massively effective. Cruelty free – they love bunnies

REDKEN Hair Cleanse – formulated with fruit acids to add shine while removing buildup.

SOMA Clarifying Shampoo – Awesome at removing the green chlorine stains on blondes. Vegan, Biodegradable, Alcohol free, Paraben free and Formaldehyde free.

So there you have it. Clarifying shampoo’s may be used once a week or once a month, depending on how many styling products you use, your hair type and how often you wash your hair. It is an awesome idea to clarify your hair before a color service – think of it as a blank canvas for an artist to work upon. Situation – clarified.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized

Stood up

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You know, when I was 16 and my date never showed, it hurt. My saving grace of being a teen of the 80’s is that I could make up a reason for the no show. You see, this is before the age of Facebook and Twitter. Before the age of cell phones and texting. Sure, some had car phones but at $10.00 a second, not much talk time was to be had. So, in my teenage mind I could tell myself “Oh, he probably tried to call when my Mom was on the phone but kept getting a busy signal”, or “He is probably stuck somewhere and the pay phone is out of order”.

The reason for the above little ditty? Well, last week, your truly was stood up. Twice. Yep. Twice. Who stood me up you ask? My sales reps. – and they were the ones who made the appointment with me! I was not and am not impressed, for a multitude of reasons. Now my much needed stock will take longer to arrive – empty shelves are the enemy of any business. I had products that I did not order but was charged for waiting for pick up so the owner’s account could be credited, so now the credit will take that much longer. I had to call my customer’s that I had placed a special order for and had to tell them it is going to be a longer wait – that makes for a fun Monday morning. Most of all, what really burned my butt – my time is not seen nor treated as important nor is the business I am trying to run and build. It is my word and my reputation on the line, and I, like the majority of Salon owners, do not like being left looking the fool.

In the age of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, cell phones and texting, there is no excuse for a no show. There is no excuse for being stood up. This isn’t 1986 and you got a better offer for a date to the dance so you didn’t show up or call, this is business and should be treated as such. I understand events can happen that are out of your control. A quick text “gotta reschedule” would suffice. Call your customer service desk and let them know what is going on so when I have to call them at the end of the day to place my order, they can let me know what is going on.

If you want my business, let me give you a little helpful hint…it helps if you show up.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Help Wanted

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Today’s tale is one for all the up and comers in our beloved industry. We are in the business of Beauty. Our customers and clients come to us because they want to look better and in turn feel better about themselves. They look to us for helpful hints and tips on how to care for their hair and to style their new ‘do.

Over the past year I have had many young ladies and gents come through my door asking if I was hiring for the shop or if our Salon would take an apprentice under our wing. For the most part, I had to say no – and not for the reasons you think. I didn’t say no because of lack of business, lack of clientele, lack of budget or because the economy is slow. I had to say no because as I saw it, if they were not able to brush their own hair, how were they able to help our clients and customers with their hair care needs. One young lady still stands out in my mind.

I hear the chirp of the shop’s door chime and look up to see a young woman wearing jogging pants, an over sized jacket, no makeup applied and her hair in a messy ponytail. “I just finished school and I need my hours…do you guys take apprentices?”. It was at this moment I decided that I was gonna change her life.I took a breath, put a smile on my face and crossed my fingers that the demo flat iron beside her would not become air born. I asked her where she went to school and I asked her if part of the curriculum focused on how to apply for a position in a salon. “Not really” she answered. I let her know that we were  not looking for an apprentice at the moment, but I would take her resume. I also asked her if she had a minute to chat. She said yes. I asked her if she loved doing hair or just liked it. “I LOVE IT!” she exclaimed. I told her I was happy to hear it, because it is a lot of hard work and long hours, but if you love it, it’s all worth it. I then asked her if I could give her a few tips. I let her know that our industry is a visual industry, that being said, she must always look like she is ready to cut/color someone’s hair. I let her know that she needs to have her hair done and a little make up applied – even if it’s just lip gloss. I let her know of Salon’s in town that I had heard were looking for apprentices and told her to go home an do the following;

– call the Salon you are interested in and ask to speak to the manager and ask to make an appointment to come and see them. * Shows professionalism and shows you understand their time, as yours, is important.

– have a shower, do your hair and apply a little makeup. You need to look good and smell good. *think about it, would you want to get your hair done by someone who’s hair was not tidy and they smelled like the gym?

– dress appropriately. Put on a nice pair of pants and a nice shirt – preferably black. (black compliments the client – puts the attention on them). *make sure the pants are clean and the shirt is pressed

– bring your tools along. You never know, you may be asked to give a cut so they can see your technique and composure around their clients.

I let her know you only get one chance to make a first impression, and that most people wouldn’t attempt to see past the jogging pants and wouldn’t give her the time of day. I then told her one of my favorite sayings “when you know better, you do better. So now, you will do better”. She laughed. (whew…thank you Maya Angelou and the powers that be that left the flat iron in it’s place).

After she left I found myself thinking about how we are not educating the up and comers. Sure they are learning cutting and coloring techniques, but these alone do not a stylist make. Students need to be taught customer service skills, interpersonal skills, how to communicate with their potential boss and coworker, how to sell retail product to their client sitting in their chair – they need to be told how to dress for their interviews and in turn for their career. Listen, I am a mother of a teenage daughter so I know you cannot guarantee what you have said has been heard nor can you guarantee what you have taught has been learned. What I do know is this; not educating students and giving them all the tools they will need if they choose to get ahead is, well, cruel and setting them up to fail. Plain and simple. Starting out in this industry is hard enough, and brings out it’s own road blocks, emotionally, physically and mentally. How about instead off adding another roadblock we give them the green light.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Uh oh…you thought my civility meant softness

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As you know, I manage a retail shop/Salon. I love my job. I get excited when I have helped a woman love her hair. Yes, I am 41 years old and I will clap my hands and exclaim “YAY!” when a client thanks me for introducing them to the product that saved their hair, be it KMS HairPlay Molding Paste or SOMA Solace. I show my excitement. I giggle. I clap. If they are a regular customer and we have a good rapport, I even hug. I also show my genuine concern when a client is not happy with a product. I listen to their frustrations. I clarify what exactly was the issue with the product. I ask them how they are using the product and help them figure out if it is the right product, just being used incorrectly, or if there may be a better product for them. I say please. I say thank you. I make eye contact. I also, on some occasions, must keep my cool and stand there as someone loses their cool. Of course sometimes I have to duck – flying flat iron – enough said.

The reason I gave you all a fly on the wall glimpse into my daily life is this – to prove, once and for all that being a happy, positive person does not mean you are stupid and have your head in the clouds. That having manners does not mean you are fake and trying to impress everyone in the room. That keeping your cool while someone is losing it does not mean you have no back bone.

Every once and a while I meet someone who takes one look at me with my blonde hair and big earring and high heels and decides what ever they are gonna decide about me. After they speak to me for a few minutes I seem to hear the same things;

– “I thought you were going to be a snob” – because I said please and thank you and had so much manners. (actually said to me…yep.)

– “I thought you were a diva!” – because I like my bling. (I would so bedazzle this post if I could.).

– “I thought you were too young to know anything about this stuff” …thanks for the genes Mom & Dad

– “I’m sorry”. – said to me after I asked if they were going to calm down or did I need to call the police. Yep, a grown woman lost her shit because I wouldn’t take back a flat iron that had no receipt, no box, no proof of purchase and had a broken plate, which after the threat of police (from your truly) and apology for throwing said flat iron (from said crazed customer) she admitted she dropped it on the ceramic tile floor in her bathroom.

The point of today’s tale is this; be kind and never assume anything of anyone, good or bad, beautiful or ugly – in the end they will show that themselves.

– If you are fortunate enough to meet someone who is kind, do not treat them like they are simple and stupid because they offer their kindness. (see above title)

– When you see someone excited about something, join in the excitement, don’t roll your eyes and tell them “to grow up”.

– When you see someone, lady or gent, impeccably dressed, compliment them. Do not scowl at them – they are not trying to “out-do” you – that’s your problem honey, not theirs.

– When a woman has her hair done, make up applied and is wearing heels, it does not mean that she is after your man, or that she is a bimbo without a brain, or that she is craving attention. Maybe, just maybe, she likes herself.

– When you are talking to a sales person, do not belittle nor berate them. It makes you a bully. A bully picking on someone’s child.

…oh, and never mistake civility for softness.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

REPRESENT!

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Today’s tale is about the Sales Rep. As in every industry, the Sales Rep many times, is the unsung hero of the industry they represent. At our shop, I deal with over 10 different companies and their Reps and as in every industry, you get the good and the great. I am quite fortunate that I deal mostly with the latter. The great ones are the reason for today’s tale. I am here today to be the voice of the great ones.

A little back story for those of you who may not realize exactly what the job of a Sales Rep. entails. You are driving, all day long, in rush hour traffic. Like our postal carrier friend’s, come rain, come sleet, come snow, you are out there, driving the roadways and walking the walkways. Most Sales Reps are on straight commission = they don’t sell, they don’t make money. Some companies offer a gas allowance and a cellphone allowance, some do not (yeah, let that sink in for a moment). Sales Reps are given quotas, usually based on their previous years sales. (Sometimes based on the sales of someone else). Sales Reps have to work all the hair shows, they must go to every training session and class, and since most are on commission, you guessed it, usually with no pay. The great ones ( I stress the great ones) do this because they love their job and want to do right by their clients.

As in every industry, you get the not so great Sales Reps, or the good ones, the “order takers” as my dear ol’ Dad calls them. (quite a fitting accolade actually – all they do is show up and ask what I want, I swear I have heard a few of ’em utter “ya want fries with that?”). You know the ones – don’t call, don’t keep their appointments, don’t tell you of the new products – you have to ask, don’t follow up with orders. The most unfortunate thing about these Reps is that the great ones pay the price. Not all, but unfortunately most companies paint all their Reps with the same brush and the great ones end up being punished along with the order takers. Yeah, I said it. All of a sudden new procedures or limitations are created and are placed on the Reps without a true explanation of why and they are supposed to enforce the new rules (without question) with their existing clients/Salons. By the way, it is not the Sales Rep’s fault that a company has “order takers”. The fault, my dear, lies with management. Yeah, I said it. With proper training, you can raise someone up to their true potential, or weed out the ones that really don’t have it in them – another tale for another time.

What the higher ups need to remember is this. Sales and sales relationships are not built on who has the flashiest smile or who has the best parlor trick (the 50’s are over) – these relationships are built on trust. Salon owners and stylists, like all customers, want the truth, the real deal, they need to know the bottom line. How is a Sales Rep supposed to tell a Salon owner where the bottom line is when head office keeps moving it because of “order taker Arnold”. How is a Sales Rep supposed to project trust in a company that they themselves can’t trust?  Business is business. All employee’s, from the cashier at your local grocery store to the Sales Rep who is busting their butt and their car’s mileage to represent the company that employ’s them, need to know that management has their back. All employee’s need to know they have support from management. No one likes to feel like the rug has been pulled out from under them. It’s time for management to get out from behind the desk and get back out on the road, and be sure to bring gas money.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing
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Today’s tale is short and sweet, like yours truly. After you read it, you will see why. Quite honestly, I find myself at a loss for words. I am all about new techniques and trends. Some are so cool I cannot wait to try them. Others, well, I will leave it for others to try and enlighten me afterwards. My aim is always to educate and enlighten so here goes.

So as I was surfing the web this morning I came across a new trend that has begun in England and is making it’s way across the pond. Downstairs Dye job. Yes, you read that right, Downstairs Dye job. (For more info. check out http://www.NYMAG.com  The Cut). It seems that women not only hate the pesky grays popping up on their heads, it is becoming an issue south of the border (and I don’t mean Mexico). I never realized this was an issue…gives “my roots are showing” a whole new meaning, and visual for that matter.

I know. Right now you have just crossed your legs and said “ouch” aloud. I know I did. The thought took  me back to the day I accidentally used Kleenex with menthol when the toilet paper roll was empty (kids). Let me tell ya…you NEVER forget that sensation. From the info. I have read, you can uncross your legs. It seems the bleach used is similar to the bleach used to lighten facial hair, and mixed with certain oils that don’t sting. Your southern belle can be dyed to match your northern ‘do. You can also choose a design for artistic flare; a heart, a star, an eagle, a beaver …couldn’t help myself.

So now not only can your shoes match your bag, the carpet upstairs can match or compliment your carpet downstairs. ….that’s all I got.

Gray coverage?

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Immersed in Bain de Terre

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Over the past months I have had many women come through the shop’s door looking like they have just lost their best friend. They wander up to the shelves and with a heavy sigh utter “I knew it. It’s gone.”. This is when I step in. “Can I help you find something?”. “I doubt it” is what I usually hear. “I liked the Bain de Terre Magnolia spray but it isn’t made anymore. I can’t find it anywhere.”. It is at this moment I am about to become their best friend. You see, Bain de Terre has updated their packaging, so the products are still available. I take my customer over to the new display of her Bain de Terre favorites and give her a can of the Magnolia Thermal Iron Protector in it’s new silver packaging. (The new packaging, by the way, is fabulous!) You would have thought it was Christmas by the smile on her face.

Bain de Terre is a beautiful hair care line. A hidden gem if you will. Their website – http://www.baindeterre.com is a terrific website, which offers how to’s, explains what products are best for each hair type and gives a complete ingredient listing for each product. Bain de Terre has updated their packaging and now their selection of Shampoo and Conditioner is paraben free and infused with argan oil & monoi oil – the result? Smooth, soft, silky lavish perfection. (* monoi oil – a known natural skin and hair softener)

Bain de Terre is a popular seller at our shop, so I have compiled a little list of the popular products at our shop; ( put it this way, I have seen grown women pout when a product is out of stock).

Magnolia Thermal Iron Protector – An awesome flat iron spray. It is an aerosol, fast drying with a light hold and a 24 hour humidity blocker. Offers heat protection up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit for those of us who crank up our flat irons.

Jasmine Blow Dry Smoothing Cream – An awesome styling agent to fight frizz. This light weight, heat activated cream reduces breakage by over 70%. (and it smells terrific). To be applied before you blow dry.

Recovery Complex Anti Frizz Serum – a weightless serum that repairs, eliminates frizz and creates instant shine. It is alcohol free, Paraben free and color safe. It can be used before blow drying or can be applied after styling is completed to smooth out ends or to add some shine.

Bain de Terre has a few new additions to their product family;

The Purite Line – consists of a shampoo, conditioner and serum. It is free of sulfates, parabens, formaldehyde, colorants, Gluten, mineral oil and phthalates.  Available in;

Moisture Repair – doubles the strength of the hair

Color Protect – locks in color = healthier color, color brilliance wash after wash.

Another addition to the Bain de Terre family;

Macadamia Oil Nourish Shampoo and Conditioner – paraben free and restores the health of fine to normal hair types.

Argan Oil Sleek and Smooth Shampoo and Conditioner – paraben free and creates a sleek, smooth glow for thicker/coarser hair.

A tip from That girl in the red coat – when looking for your favorite product and you cannot seem to find it anywhere – always check the product’s website. Most websites will offer details of new packaging, discontinued product listings, and store/salon locator’s of where to buy your favorite product. So before you believe the person who tells you something is discontinued, check the website, or check back with me, that girl in the red coat. I got your back.

Beauty, Business, communication, entertainment, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

Full Moon Monthly

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Gather ’round ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Yes, it is that time again, another month has passed and a full moon is upon us. I used to think I was psychic, I could feel the shift of the tides, the shift in the karma of those around me. Now I know it was PMS. I know this because since my hysterectomy (getting the stupid cut out as I like to call it) I no longer get that psychic/one with the universe/could cry at the drop of a hat/punch someone in the face feeling once a month. I just see and hear some odd things and the calender confirms it…full moon.

A woman came in to the shop with three children in tow. Her daughter (age 4) saw our display of demo flat irons and curling irons and ran straight for them. “Be careful sweetie. Those can get very hot and you could burn yourself. Don’t touch them, let us help you”, to which the mother looked at me and told me “not to tell her children what to do.”. …it is 10 a.m..

The phone rings. A woman has called the shop looking for a product that helps psoriasis. I let her know of the many shampoo’s we sell that are formulated to help with such a scalp condition – Smart Solutions Problem Hair ‘n Scalp Shampoo is our best seller and has helped many of our clients and customers. She then asks me if I think it could help her. I let her know that without seeing her it is hard for me to say, but I am sure it would be fine. “I can’t get in today” she said and then began to describe in great detail the size of the flakes that she had on her head “about the size of a nickel.”. I thanked her for the description and let her know that from her description, it should be just the product for her. …it is 10:20 a.m. – I shit you not.

From time to time I do not carry a certain product, so I put in a special order for our customers. There is no extra charge, and I will hold it for them for 2 weeks. I called a customer this morning to let her know that her product had arrived. “Well! I can’t get in today!” she said. I reassured her that I would put the product behind the counter for her and that I can hold it for her for 2 weeks. “Bet you will charge me extra for holding it!” she says. I let her know there is no extra charge. “You’ll forget who it’s for and sell it to someone else!” she says. I reassure her I have put a sticky note on the can with her name on it. “What if another Carol comes in and you give it to her?” (names have been changed to protect the innocent…and my ass). I tell her that I have her phone number with her name on the sticky note so that won’t happen. “Bet it will rain the day I get there!” to which I respond “well, you got me there Carol”. …it’s 11:30 a.m.

A woman came in the shop and asked me if I knew why her hairdresser messed up her hair. After a few seconds, I just frowned and said “I’m sorry, I don’t know”. “Why won’t anyone tell me why she did this to my hair?”. So I asked her if she had spoken to her stylist to which she replied “Oh no. I can’t do that. I might hurt her feelings.”. …12:15 p.m..

Our Salon is closed on Mondays. It was quiet in the shop so I thought I would go back in the Salon and help the stylists out by going over the floors once more and making sure the back bar bottles were filled up and towels were folded and ready for the next morning. I hear the chirp of the shop door and come around the corner and greet the customer with my standard “Hi there! How are you today?”. “I want my hair cut.”. he says. I explain that the Salon is closed on Mondays and ask if he would like to make an appointment for another time. “Salon ain’t closed. You’re in it.”. I smile and answer “You’re right! I am in the Salon, just tidying up a bit preparing for tomorrow, the stylists are off today, so the Salon is closed.”. “No it ain’t…you’re in it. If it was closed you wouldn’t be in it.”. I take a breath, Smile and say “You’re right, the Salon is open, because I am in it. The stylists are not here, it is their day off.”. To which he says, “See, told you it ain’t closed”. Then he walked out.  …I have stopped looking at the time.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Change of Plan

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I work in a Salon. I know when you think of a Salon, you picture laughter, coffee being sipped, gossip about the latest escapades of the neighbors and the smell of perm solution. Most days that is exactly what it looks and sounds like. Unfortunately life isn’t always so kind or easy. Some days, we are helping someone rebuild their lives. Some days we are helping someone have their hair “just so” to attend the funeral of a loved one. Some days we are helping a woman make the decision of shaving her head before all her hair falls out because of the chemo. Some days we are pampering our clients and taking an few extra minutes because we know it is the first time they have had for themselves in weeks because they are the caregiver of a loved one. Some days, we share our dreams of what we thought our life was going to look like. Some days, we are helping one another find our new normal.

When I was young, I had a vision of what my life would be. I was going to be a lawyer, living in SOHO in an awesome apartment with a fridge that was stocked with champagne and left over Chinese food from the fabulous place around the corner. I was never going to be married and no kids. Fast forward to 1992, he walked by and plans changed. Over a coffee that lasted 6 hours I had a new vision of what my life would be. I had no idea the career path I would take ( realized I wanted to be a lawyer on T.V. more than a lawyer…Hill Street Blues…enough said). What I did know was he was going to be in my life for a very long time, and for the first time in my life, I could see myself walking down the aisle, plans changed. Fast forward to 1996 and much to my surprise I find myself thinking it is time for us to try to have a baby. Poor hubby didn’t get much time to get used to the idea – got pregnant literally two weeks after going off the pill. You know it’s quick when your Doctor says “Did you just do it last night Sara?”, plans changed. Once our lovely, beautiful girl was born , as all parents do, we dream. We dream of our child’s future, and on those sleepless nights we dream of our lives alone with our beloved once the child has grown. Oh come on! All parents think of this…you know you do…the jig is up. Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2011. My hubby had a heart attack. Plans changed. While he was being admitted to the CCU, I sat alone in a blue waiting room, staring out the window at the night sky and said goodbye to best laid plans. As I sat there, I wasn’t thinking of the trips we didn’t take, I didn’t think of things we hadn’t done. I sat there thinking of how it felt to have my husband’s hand in mine. I thought of the sound of my husband’s and daughter’s laughter in unison. The dreams of travel and summer homes weren’t so important anymore, plans changed.

Fast forward to present day. Hubby’s heart is strong, so strong that he ran on treadmill for his stress test for over 10 minutes. (which made me realize it was time to get my lazy ass off the couch ‘cuz I didn’t have a heart attack and couldn’t run for 2 minutes -let alone 10). To support my beloved we changed our diet, we cut out the junk. We bought an exercise bike, we go for walks, we went for a hike to see the waterfalls that I didn’t know were a 45 minute drive from my home. Some days our plans change because my hubby isn’t feeling so great – be it from the medication or life stresses. (The heart and stroke foundation have a wonderful video series explaining the emotional/mental toll that heart attack/stroke can take on the patient – http://www.heartandstroke.ca ). Many friends and loved ones understand this, some, sadly do not, and that is okay, that is their journey, this is mine. Plans changed.

Plans change. Some times the road you are travelling is a dead end and you have to turn around, plans change. You thought you would look like Jessica Rabbit with red hair but you ended up looking like Ronald McDonald – back to the salon you go, plans change. You said you would never marry or have kids, plans change. You thought your life was going to be different, plans change. What I have learned – the plans change, for the better.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Fool on the hill

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I woke up this morning with “The Fool on the Hill” by the Beatles in my head – so clearly that I actually checked my clock radio to see if it was on. (Yes, I still have a clock radio. It was my grandfather’s. He got it free with his “Maclean’s” subscription and when I saw it I thought it was pretty cool, so he gave it to me and it has been at my bedside for 25 years). Needless to say, the radio was off. I got up, made some coffee and the song still played in my head.

It got me to thinking about the past few weeks of my life, and the lives of those I love and cherish. You see, for me, most of my life is pretty awesome. I have been a  guest blogger on http://www.salonmagazine.com . I have been invited to blog on another website – which one you ask? Well for that one you are gonna have to wait – it’s a surprise! I have a 16 year old daughter who still wants to be seen in public with me ( A HUGE deal if you ask me.) and I have the love of a great man, who has loved me for over 20 years. My lovely hubby is why I said “most” of my life is pretty awesome. You see, his health has not been the greatest as of late, by no fault of his own. Those familiar with my blog know that my love had a heart attack back in 2011. His heart is well on the mend, alas the medication to keep his heart healthy is not so nice to the rest of his body.The kick in the ass is everyday he feels different, he doesn’t know until he gets out of bed what the day will hold for him. Some of the medication makes his skin super sensitive to touch, some of the medication causes acid reflux and chest pressure – the latter is a another  kick in the ass since chest pressure is how his heart attack felt. – AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL SEGUE! – not all heart attacks present with a pain shooting down your left arm and a red face followed with a collapse to the floor. If you are not feeling well, pain or pressure in your chest area/upper back that won’t subside, pain that goes up your neck into your jaw – go to the hospital. As the Doctor’s say to us – they would rather everyone come and it be nothing then wait too long and nothing can be done. Back to the tale at hand.

So, I looked up the lyrics to the fool on the hill, and as with any piece of music or literature everyone seems to have their own vision of what the song means, myself included. You see, I am an optimist. I can’t help myself. I always seem to find something good in something bad, it’s what I do. Many times because of this I find I am ignored or not listened to, and that is okay. It used to hurt my feelings, now I realize that it is either because I over stepped my bounds (which I know I tend to do) or that the person I am speaking to is not ready to be happy or ready to have hope – I have found that giving over to hope and happiness is one of the scariest things for people to do – it sure as hell was for me. So the lyrics, “but nobody ever hears him, or the sound he appears to make, and he never seems to notice, but the fool on the hill, sees the sun going down. and the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round” comfort me. They do. I saw myself in the lyrics – the woman who always sees the bright side of life and is seen as a fool on the hill.

I also found a new perspective about my hubby. You see, he looks fine but feels like shit most of the time. As with any health issue, when the person looks fine people don’t always believe you when you say you are not well, so you begin to feel like “fool on the hill” and begin to doubt yourself and how you are feeling. Another great compliment is when people doubt that he is taking his medication properly, or accuse him of not taking care of himself properly. This used to make me mad, but after watching a few episodes of Honey Boo Boo and some other so called reality T.V. shows, I now understand why some people are, well, assholes where the health of my beloved is concerned. (if you have seen the above – no explanation needed).

Here’s the deal. In the immortal words of Bob Dylan “don’t criticize what you can’t understand”. Everyone is going through something, or has a loved one on their mind. Sometimes it shows, most often it does not. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing at all. Be careful not to judge too severely, for one day you may be the fool on the hill…and I will be more than happy to sit with you.