Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Full Moon Monthly

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The full moon has come and gone this month, and as September draws to a close, I thought, why not end it on a high note with  a few smirks and giggles. Again, these events are based on real events, with real people that come into my shop…again, I wish I was making this up.

– The shop opens at 9:30 a.m.. It isn’t even 9:31 a.m. “Hey…do you ever worry someone is gonna drive through your front window?” – I guess I missed the memo that this is the new morning greeting.

– The phone rings. I answer with my go to greeting only to hear “Yeah, whatever. I am trying to find the number of the auto body place down the street. Can you look it up for me…I am kind of in a hurry”. Now, I know the shop’s number has the #4 in it, unfortunately it is not followed with 1-1 …wait for it…there you go.

– “My daughter has colored her hair and now it looks horrible. What hair color will fix it?”. I kindly let the mother know that without seeing her daughter’s hair I wouldn’t even know where to begin to help her. “Well her hair looks like pumpkin pie with a mix of orange and a little bit of caramel with chocolate pieces in it.”….oh yes…now I know what color her hair is.

– FYI – “out the door” top coat is the name of the quick dry top coat. It doesn’t mean you have to apply it while going out the door.

– A customer came in to tell me she was not pleased with the product she had purchased. I looked up her file in the computer and saw her last purchase was OPI Avolplex Cuticle Oil. “What was it about the oil that you weren’t happy with?” I asked, to which she answered “Well…look at my hair! It is so greasy! My stylist told me that my hair’s cuticles were fried and that I need some oil for the cuticles, so I bought the OPI oil and now LOOK!!!!”. I silently remind myself “Do not smirk. Do not show it on your face.” and proceed to let her know that the oil she purchased was for the cuticles on her hands, not her hair. After further discussion and explanation and a giggle or two, she ended up buying Kpak Revitaluxe and SOMA Solace – a cuticle sealer – for her hair.

– I have a dish of candies at the front counter. Everyday I am asked how much for a candy. When I tell people they are free, some stare at me and say “Come on! Really?”. Some say thank you. Some take 10 pieces of candy and some dig through the dish and then sigh “Why don’t you have any lemon candies? They are my favorite. These others are gross. What a waste.”. – about the latter – my thoughts exactly.

– I hear the chirp of the Salon door chime and as I look up from my purchase order, there she is. A complete stranger standing at the front desk with her shirt lifted up asking me “do have anything for these stretch marks?”. …enough said.

– A woman came into the shop and asked if her son could come behind the counter and see our computer because “he loves computer’s”. The child was no more than 3 years of age and had something that I could only hope was peanut butter all over his shirt. I let her know that children weren’t allowed behind the counter. She didn’t seem too impressed that she had to mind her own child while in a store. …imagine.

– A woman came in the shop and as I came around the counter to greet her I was told “Leave me alone. I am not a thief. I do not like people talking to me.”, then she walked over to the brushes, reached up, took one of the shelf and began to brush her hair. I went over to her and shook my head side to side. She looked at me and asked me what I was doing. I told her “I am telling you no to using the brushes. Now you have to purchase it because you used it. As the sign says – Please do not use the brushes. You Brush. You Buy.”. When she asked me why I didn’t tell her, I said “Well, you told me you don’t like people talking to you.”.  …not my finest moment, I know, but come on…she left that one wide open.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Let’s clarify the situation

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Everyday at the shop I am asked if I carry a “clarifying shampoo”. The answer is always yes. Almost every professional Salon line has a clarifying shampoo available in a retail size. Before I hand it over to my customer’s, I always ask them why they are looking for a clarifying shampoo. The reason I ask is this – many people have been given the incorrect information about clarifying shampoo’s, and you know me, I gotta educate, I gotta enlighten.

Clarifying shampoo’s are exactly that. They clarify the hair – they remove product build up, mineral deposit/build up (from well water for example), and chlorine buildup. Professional clarifying shampoo’s will not lift color, will not make you more blonde or remove your perm. It isn’t recommended to use a clarifying shampoo if you have just had your hair colored – it could affect the vibrancy of the color – try to wait at least a week or two. Some people have been told a clarifying shampoo will help with dandruff, not always the case. Some people may get a build up of product on their scalp, so yes, a clarifying shampoo would work and stop the flakes. If you suffer from psoriasis or chronic dandruff all a clarifying shampoo is going to do is dry you out more and cause more flakes. – check out my blog “Save your shoulder checks for changing lanes” archived April 2012 for awesome products custom made for those issues. Also, some people have been told clarifying shampoo’s will help with an oily scalp. Again, not always the case. Drying out the scalp may cause the scalp to produce more oil. Suffering from oily scalp? – RUSK Purity, Senscience Specialty Shampoo and JOICO Daily Care treatment shampoo are gems!

You may have heard that clarifying shampoo’s dry out the hair. Yes, in some circumstances they can, usually when they are over used, or not a professional salon brand. Being me, I have compiled a little go to list to clarify the situation…couldn’t help myself.

JOICO Kpak Chelating Shampoo – contains a triple action formula that removes mineral deposits, chlorine and styling product buildup while moisturizing the hair.

KMS HAIR STAY Clarifying Shampoo – leaves your hair feeling clean and healthy, not dry or feeling stripped. Gentle enough for daily use *Great for swimmers!

AG Renew – Mild yet massively effective. Cruelty free – they love bunnies

REDKEN Hair Cleanse – formulated with fruit acids to add shine while removing buildup.

SOMA Clarifying Shampoo – Awesome at removing the green chlorine stains on blondes. Vegan, Biodegradable, Alcohol free, Paraben free and Formaldehyde free.

So there you have it. Clarifying shampoo’s may be used once a week or once a month, depending on how many styling products you use, your hair type and how often you wash your hair. It is an awesome idea to clarify your hair before a color service – think of it as a blank canvas for an artist to work upon. Situation – clarified.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

I’m gonna change your life

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I am a huge fan of Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in cars getting coffee. Google it then watch every episode. You will not regret it. Season two has begun and while watching the episode with Sarah Silverman, something she said has resonated in me and I gotta share it with you. “I’m going to change your life forever”. Something that is said to someone who just doesn’t realize how they look or sound. ( if you want to know more about who she was talking about it, you are going to have to watch the episode, don’t want to spoil it.)

Everyday I see or hear women hating their hair and they don’t realize that they can change that.  I also tend to see or hear the most idiotic or asinine behavior and/or comments and you know what? Most of these people don’t realize how they look or how they sound. I say most because unfortunately there are some shallow end of the gene pool swimmers out there that know exactly what they are saying and doing – but there is no changing them and that is a tale for another time.

A woman came into the shop to thank me for introducing her to Joico Kpak Revitaluxe. Her hair had never felt so great. We started a little chat about hair and our past hair woes and then she told me how she didn’t like the cut she had gotten the past three times with her stylist. I asked her if she let the stylist know, because if you don’t tell the stylist you don’t like your cut, you are going to keep getting the same cut, because she thinks you like it. “Oh, I can’t do that. It would be rude and maybe she would get offended.”. – I hear this phrase at least 10 times a week. Ladies and gents, once and for all, if you don’t like your hair style or the outcome of your hair color – tell your stylist, in a polite manner. Don’t go and throw the flat iron and a temper tantrum shrieking “I can never go out in public again!” – behave yourself and be a grown up and let them know you aren’t happy with the service and see if there is anything that can be done. Back to the tale at hand. I asked my customer “If you order a steak well done and it is rare – would you eat it and say nothing, or would you ask for it to be done the way you ordered it?”. To which she answered “I would ask for it to be done the way I ordered it”. This is when it happened. I looked her straight in the eye, smiled and said, “I am about to change your life. From now on if you are not happy with your cut, tell your stylist. It isn’t fair to her because she thinks you are happy when you are not. It isn’t fair to you because every time you look in the mirror you are unhappy. This is a win win for you – either she will listen to you and you will get the cut you want, or she won’t listen and you will know it is time to find a new stylist.”. It was quiet for a moment, I was hoping I had not overstepped my bounds (I kinda do that sometimes). She looked at me, blinked and said “You are right. I never thought of it like that before.” I gave her our Salon price list and let her know that she is more than welcome to make an appointment for a complimentary consultation. We ended up talking for over 20 minutes, about our hair and about our lives. As she left she winked at me and thanked me “for changing her life”. We both laughed and I could hear her laughter as she walked out the door.

As I sat down to finish my paperwork I found myself smiling and saying quietly to myself “Thank you Sarah Silverman for changing my life”.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hospital gowns and customer service

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Today’s tale is about customer service. It is also about taking a moment and paying attention. It is about being kind. Life is hard enough, why add more road blocks?

Picture this…You are at the hospital. You are waiting to have a routine upper G.I. procedure. A nurse and a nursing student come to get you to get your I.V. started to prep you for the procedure. You are fine with a student being present (would have been nice if you were asked if you were comfortable with it).You are a little nervous since the last time you were at the hospital you had a heart attack and the pain you have been having for the last 9 months feels just like your heart attack did. The nurse looks at your hand and tells you your veins are horrible ( uh…yeah…you have been fasting over 12 hours), then puts the I.V. in (first try…bad veins…uh huh) and blood goes everywhere. She begins to ridicule you “why didn’t you tell me about your heart meds?” (all the info. was on the chart she initialed right before she began your  I.V.), then proceeds to ask if you took all your heart meds that day and you tell her no and she asks you why with a tone courtesy of Nurse Ratched and you find yourself looking for Jack Nicholson. You politely point out that on the form she just initialed that you take two doses a day of certain medications, one in the evening, one in the morning. She asks if you had a stent put in. You tell her no. She doesn’t believe you, because everyone gets a stent. (unless the artery was too small to fit a stent – hence the cause of the heart attack). Then she looks at your hand as she is wiping away the blood and see’s a mole that you have had all your life. “You better get that looked at…doesn’t look good…”. Then you are told you can go back to your seat and wait. So, you began your day thinking you just have a little tummy trouble or acid reflux and now you think you are stupid, have terrible circulation and bad veins and probably have skin cancer. The patient was my husband and Florence Nightinggale just turned over in her grave.

Yes, my husband was a patient, not a customer, but the lack of service he received was embarrassing. If I acted that way with my customers or the Salon’s clients, I would be out of a job. We are given two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen twice as much as we speak.

When I have a customer come into the shop with a questionable scalp condition, I don’t look at them and say “Your scalp is horrible. Looks cancerous. Better get that checked!”, or run and get my stylists to come out and gawk. Wanna know why? One – that’s rude. Two – I am not a skin specialist. Trust me, be it a health issue or a scalp condition, people know what they are going through, they know what they have, they do not need to have it pointed out to them or shoved down their throat. What I do is this;

– I ask if they mind if I ask a few personal questions

– if the answer is no – I ask about the products they are currently using, if this happens only when the seasons change, if they are on any medications ( some medications affect hair/skin/nails), or if this is something they have always dealt with.

– if I need to get one of my stylists to take a look, I ask their permission first.

– I never blame them. I never make them feel like I don’t believe a word they are saying. Sometimes you don’t get the right answer because you didn’t ask the right question.

– I sell them the product that may help with the issue. The Nioxin line has helped many people with mild scalp irritations, Joico’s Daily Care Treatment Shampoo is quite nice, and Smart Solutions Problem Hair and Scalp Shampoo is terrific. I tell them to give it a week or two, explain how to use the product, and tell them if it doesn’t seem to helping, maybe give the Doc. a call.

If you are a Stylist, Doctor, Nurse, Teacher be kind. Pay attention. If you make a mistake, admit it, apologize. Read something wrong? Don’t blame the other person, admit it, apologize. Don’t know about something? Don’t belittle the other person and treat them like they are the stupid one, admit that you don’t know and get yourself informed. (pssst…there are these things that are big and rectangular in shape called encyclopedia’s and dictionary’s – or Google for our techies).

Be kind. Treat others as you want to be treated. Plain and simple.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Was it good for you?

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“So…is this product good?”. A question I hear at least ten times a day. All professional salon products are “good”. Are they all good for your hair? Now that is the question.

I am a firm believer in the client/customer consultation. Not only while you are sitting in a stylist’s chair but on the salon/retail sales floor. Most people who venture into a Salon for hair product either have no idea what they are looking for or have been given the wrong information about the product that they think they want for their hair. Maybe their best friend loves it, or they read about it on the internet or saw it on You Tube. This is why a consultation is needed, asking your client/customer the right questions to be sure they are getting the right product and will continue to love their hair or if you are lucky…to help them begin to love their hair. (The best feeling…watching someone’s eyes come to life as they picture having great hair.).

The major reason most people think a certain hair product is “crap” (their term…not mine) is because they are not applying it properly or because it is the exact opposite of what they want.

– A woman tells me Joico Erractic Clay is horrible and doesn’t smooth her hair at all. This woman has a shoulder length bob. Joico Erractic is an AWESOME Molding clay, meant for texture and spiky, fun looks. You see her friend raved about it so that is why she bought it. When I asked what her friend’s hair was like I found out her friend had short spiky hair. Once I explained why her friend may have liked Erractic so much, I showed her the Joico Kpak Smoothing Balm. It is meant to be put on damp hair before blow drying to smooth the hair and it is humidity resistant so it helps to combat frizz. I explained what humidity resistant meant (seals hair cuticle shut) and why it is important to look for that when wanting to achieve smooth frizz free styles. Now she knows Joico is a great product line with something for everyone.

– A woman tells me that the OSIS hairspray doesn’t hold at all and she hates it. So I ask her which hairspray she is using. (OSIS has 3 aerosol hairsprays).  It turns out she was told by her stylist to use OSIS Elastic which is a soft hold hairspray. This woman wanted a firm yet workable hold. I told her she needed the OSIS Session hairspray – awesome control and she would be able to brush her hair afterwards. She came back the next week and bought some for her mother.

– A mother and daughter come into the shop. The mother is at her wits end because her daughter’s hair is fried. I mean fried. So I ask what has she been using on her hair. I am told “only professional products”. I ask if she uses a flat iron and am told she does, everyday. I ask what, if any product does she use on her hair before she uses the flat iron. I am told she uses an oil. BINGO! I have their answer. Someone, somewhere started to tell people to use an oil on their hair before they flat iron. This is a MAJOR NO NO. Most oils do not have any thermal protectants so in essence, when using an oil on dry hair before you flat iron, you are cooking that oil into your hair. The result – fried, singed hair. Always use a flat iron spray, or at least read the bottle and make sure it states to use the product with thermal appliances or that the product is a thermal protector.

What I am getting at is this, we need to pay attention to our clients/customer needs – this is for stylists, owners, reps and sales people alike – we need to ask them questions. We need to find out what their needs are and what their goals are, what they imagine for themselves, how they picture their hair and their style. We need to be up to date on our product knowledge. Product knowledge classes are free. Pick up a bottle and read the label for goodness sake’s. Remember that thing that you used to see at a store…someone actually helping their customer…it’s time to bring the past to the present.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

A conversation between two people

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As you know, I manage a retail shop/salon. I have been in the customer service/sales industry for over 20 years and in the beauty biz for over 10 of those years. With today’s tale, it may seem like I am giving off the impression that I am the “guru on the mount” of  customer service and sales and that is not my intent. That being said, I am good at what I do. Yeah, I said it. I know my product. I keep myself educated on the newest products and the newest trends in hair. I am not only my customer’s sales person – I like to refer to myself as their assistant buyer. I help our customers and clients make the proper choice for their hair care needs – be it a flat iron or a hairspray. I, like my blog, try to educate and enlighten.

Today’s tale is for salon owners and stylists. It is time to bring back customer service. It is time to bring back the sale. Bringing back the sale doesn’t mean you sell your client /customer the product that makes you the most profit and take their money. It means that you engage your client/customer. Ask them questions. Have a conversation. Find out what they are looking for, or not looking for. Ask if they are still happy with their hair, if there is something they would like to change. Find out what products they have at home and how they are using them. Seriously – it is just a conversation between two people – you do it all day long.

In our shop/salon, we sell over 25 different professional lines. We don’t carry all the lines, so on occasion I will have a customer looking for a line we don’t carry or maybe it is temporarily out of stock. When that customer asks for a line I don’t carry, I always ask them about the product they were looking for. Why you ask? If you are asking that question you have just solidified my point about customer service – back to the question. I ask them about the product they are looking for because I may have a similar product from another line that they may like. An example – Sebastian Craft Clay and Joico Ice Erratic are quite similar in texture and hold. The point is this, know your product. With proper product knowledge you can educate your customer. Take the time to tell your customer how to use the product, how much or how little, in wet hair or dry. Many times the customers I speak with have the right product, they aren’t using it properly because their stylist didn’t teach them how to use it.

Everyone wants to look good. No one wants to be standing in their bathroom hating their hair because of the product in their hair and we don’t want them hating us because we didn’t explain how to use the product. That’s right folks – while looking at their bad hair in their reflection – they are blaming their stylist or the person who sold the product. It’s true – you know you have done it too – we all have. Always be sure to ask;

– how do you like to style your hair?

– do you blow dry or air dry your hair?

– do you like to use a  brush while blow drying?

– have you used a chemical straightener?

– do you have a flat iron?

– do you want volume or hold or both?

– what products have you used? How are you using them?

Asking these questions can help you pinpoint what your customer/client is looking for. They may already have what they need at home and may not need to purchase anything that day. Guess what? By being honest and listening and educating them, you may not have made a sale but you have earned their business.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

What is looking for you?

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As per usual, I sat down to to tell you all a tale of the newest addition to the Joico family of products, alas, it will have to be a tale for another time. It is Sunday morning in my corner of the world, the sun is shining, tulips from my garden are blooming on my kitchen table, a cool morning breeze is making the steam from my coffee glisten in the morning light and I am happy. I am…two words that I had, in all honesty, never appreciated their importance, until about a month ago.

I was surfing You Tube, after watching all the episodes (for the tenth time) of Comedians in cars getting coffee with Jerry Seinfeld, I started searching all the Oprah’s Master Class episodes and came across her Life Class with Joel Osteen. (Yes, I know it is Sunday, and no I am not gonna ask you if you have found Jesus…first – that is none of my business, and second…I didn’t know he was lost.). Back to the tale at hand. “Whatever follows “I am” will come looking for you”. Can you say “LIGHT BULB!”. (I would say AHA! …but Oprah kinda owns that one.). Something else Joel said was “If you want to know what your life will look like in 5 years…listen to how you are speaking today.”. Yikes…in a good way. In my minds eye I flashed back to 2008, to myself, sitting on my bathroom floor, giving over to whatever forces may be…god, the universe, the smurfs…to help me let go of my fears and my insecurities and get me back to me. Back to present day, I am back in the business I love, I actually believe I am pretty, I no longer feel fat nor base my identity on my looks, I am stronger in all senses of the word, I am a writer, I took the leap and started my blog, I met Tabatha Coffey. I am pretty awesome, if I do say so myself…and I often do.

At the shop and in the Salon, I hear so many women, and men say “I am old”, “I am ugly”, “I am useless” and many other sad, lonely phrases. I never quite paid attention until I heard Joel’s take on the matter. As you know, my tales are about educating and enlightening us all about the world of beauty. My tales may not always be about how to apply Root Boost (before blow drying, separate your hair at the roots, spray the root boost directly at scalp, rub into roots, then blow dry…couldn’t help myself). Some of my tales will be to help you find the beauty within yourself, your family, the world. Beauty is out there, it is right beside you, it is in you, if you choose to see it, hear it, speak it.

Remember …whatever follows “I am” is gonna come looking for you…so the question is this…what is looking for you?

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Great hair isn’t only for carnivores

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Lately, I have come to realize that the public at large has been misinformed and me being me, I feel I must correct the situation. As of late I have been hearing phrases along the lines of “Hair products are toxic to the environment.”, “All cosmetic companies test on animals”, “There are no real vegan hair care products.”. All the above phrases are not true. No offense to your bff but she doesn’t know what she is talking about, and unless you see a salon within 10 feet of where you are purchasing your product, the sales person who is selling you the product and answering your questions most probably doesn’t know what they are talking about either. Plain and simple.

I can only speak for the Professional Salon products because, they are what I sell and they are what I have had extensive product knowledge training on. (…see, more to me that a pretty face and a sassy sense of humor). Being me, and not to let any of you down, I have compiled a list of some awesome environmentally friendly/vegan/cruelty free Professional hair care alternatives. (* Cruelty free = no testing on bunnies, playboy and mammal.).

JOICO Structure – The newest collection from Joico. It is a cruelty free line and 3 of their products are certified Vegan – Cleanse (the shampoo), Condition (the conditioner) and Renovate (the conditioning treatment).

Bain de Terre Purite – the newest addition to the Bain de Terre family. It is a cruelty free line that is sulfate free, paraben free, free of colorants and formaldehyde and is Gluten free. The line offers a beautiful shampoo, conditioner and leave in spray.

SOMA – One of my favorites that I have blogged about on many occasions – check out Sulfates, Alcohols and Parabens…Oh my!  in the April 2012 archives. It does hold a soft spot in my heart for it was one of the first lines to be vegan and alcohol free and I was fortunate enough to be trained by the original chemists of the line. SOMA is organic, 100% vegan, 100% biodegradable, paraben and formaldehyde free, cruelty free and most of the line is alcohol free. The packaging is also 100% recyclable. The SOMA line has a product for any hair type or hair styling woe, from limp lifeless hair to unruly curls.

ALTERNA BAMBOO – A beautiful line brought to us by Alterna Hair Care. This line has everything from shampoo to shine spray, mousse to conditioning treatments for all hair types from frizzy to fine. It is Paraben free, Gluten free, contains no sodium chloride, phthalates or synthetic colors. It is a cruelty free line. By the way…their Kendi Oil can give Moroccanoil a run for their money…just sayin’. Oh yes, and Katie Holmes has now partnered with them, again…just sayin’.

So there you have it, a little more information than you had a few moments ago. You now know that is it possible to have great hair and love our Mother Earth. No longer will you have to hug a tree to prove you care for the environment…of course if you feel the need at least you will have great hair for your photo op.

Beauty

Grey skies smilin’ at me

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It has been a few days since my last tale, I know. Every time I sat down to write the words wouldn’t come…not because of lack of material. Oh, I have many tales to tell of product knowledge, product review and your all time favorite Tales of Truth to tell, yet still once I sat down, opened up my laptop…nothing. All that would come to mind were all the negative remarks or behavior that had surrounded me all day and I was so done with it all. The days have been grey and spring has not yet sprung and quite honestly, from the moment the open sign turns on to the minute I lock the door at the end of the day, I am constantly reminded of this. Not only by the birds eye view from our front window, but from customers at the register to the DJ on the radio, so in turn I was becoming negative and began to act like a girl (yeah I said it!) and started to read WAY too much into everything and was making myself miserable…it wasn’t until today that I realized…well more like admitted it to myself.

While at the shop today an elderly couple who are regular customers of the shop came in. The husband has a cane and many problems with his feet, so they come in and buy the Gehwol Herbal bath. They are a sweet couple and always have a tale of their own to tell. As they were leaving today, they thanked me for all my help and making sure I always had two boxes in stock for them. They told me I help them feel better. It was then that I kicked my own ass and told myself to get over all the negative and get on with it already. I have my health, a man who loves me, a loving family who gives me a soft place to fall, a beautiful daughter who I cannot wait to see who she becomes,( she is quite awesome if I do say so myself), I have a job that I love, and friends that I can call in the wee hours of the morning. So really, a little grey sky and negative comments ain’t so bad.

Ladies and gents, it is time to change the record. The skies may be dull and dreary but we do not have to be. Paint your nails with China Glaze “Shocking Pink” to make you smile while you type and paint your toes with China Glaze “Flip Flop Fantasy” to add a spring to your step. Get some Joico Kpak Revitaluxe and restore the softness and shine to your dry winter tresses. Get yourself some OPI Avojuice CoCoMelon lotion to bring the beach back to your senses. Spray some KMS HairPlay SeaSalt Spray into your hair to give yourself that “just left the beach” look. If spring won’t come to us, then let us go to spring.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Reflection

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“Looking through the crowd, I search for somethin’ else, every time I turn around I run into myself”. – Dixie Chicks

One of the hardest jobs is being a parent. We worry if we are raising our kids right, if they are in the right school, if they have nice friends, if they are eating all the four food groups. I don’t know about you all but what I find the most difficult about being a parent is letting my daughter figure out who she is, and constantly reminding myself that she is not me and may not have the same issues that I had at her age. (just because I was smoking and skipping class doesn’t mean she will…actually she has a perfect attendance record…and yes, she is mine. I have the records to prove it).

At least once a week I meet a mother/daughter duo and you can tell the mother is trying to correct the mistakes of her youth through her daughter. One young lady came in asking about going blonde and before I could offer her an appointment with one of our stylists “I bleached my hair in my teens and ruined it so there is no way in hell I am letting my daughter do it.” is what I heard from the mother. It was at this moment that that the daughter looked down at her ripped up vintage chucks with no hope of ever raising her chin. So, me being me, I asked the mom if she had gone blonde at a salon, to which she said “well…no.”. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the daughter begin to raise her chin. I let the mom know that my “blonde” was done in our Salon and she did say “your hair doesn’t look damaged”…now the chin was completely raised and there was the beginning of a smile. I went on to offer our Salon price list and the card of our stylist and let them know they could make an appointment for a free consultation. I looked at the daughter who was now smiling and let her know that if she went blonde there would be up keep and she would need to take care of her hair with professional products like SOMA Blonde Silver Shampoo once a week and Joico’s Kpak Revitaluxe once a week as well.

We were teens once, we know what they can get up to, hell, we got up to it. As parents, all we can do is educate and enlighten, and then hope for the best. What we must not do is assume that our kids are going to do what we did. We must not assume because we smoke and drank at 15 that they will. We must not tell our daughter’s that cutting off their hair was a “huge mistake” because we thought it was when we were 14. We must not tell our son’s that a mohawk makes them “look like a thug” because that is what your parents thought.

Your children are a reflection of you, they are not you, they are their own person, and maybe, just maybe, they will make better choices in their teens then we did in ours.