beauty

Leave the bunnies alone

Today’s tale is a tale I feel I must tell. I work in a Salon, I deal with more women than men on a daily basis and believe me, I hear and see it all. The saddest and most disheartening thing I get to witness is how women will bash other women, or worse, their own daughters. I hear women call other women “sluts” based on their hairstyle, or choice of wardrobe. 

I have confession to make. When I was young girl of the 1970’s I wanted to be a Playboy Bunny. Yes. It’s true. Whenever my parents weren’t looking I would sneak into my Dad’s closet and look at his stash of Playboy’s. …sorry Dad…the jig is up. I thought the women were so beautiful and I couldn’t wait until I looked like them….or if I was really lucky I would have a body like Marilyn Monroe (who as we all know was in Playboy.). I remember when I got my first full slip (I was 8 years old) and I stood in front of my bedroom mirror, brush in hand and sang “Happy Birthday Mr. President”. I couldn’t wait to have curves. I couldn’t wait to be a woman. 

Flash forward to 1987. I was now 15 years old and was getting the curves I so desired. I remember exclaiming in a 15 year old excited shrill to a friend “Look at my hips!”. My celebration was short lived. I was told they made me look fat and I also learned that girls that liked their curves and showed them off were “sluts like the girls in Playboy”. I remember this as clear as day because up until that moment it never occurred to me that the women I thought were so beautiful were anything other than that, beautiful. So, being 15, I traded in my tight jeans for loose cotton pants and regrettably jumped on the bunny banning band wagon.

Flash forward to 2012. On a quiet Saturday morning I am flipping through the movie channels and stumble upon a documentary. “Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel”. I highly recommend that every woman watch this. It will shed an entire new light on the man behind Playboy. Sure, Hugh likes the ladies. He likes them so much that he supports women’s rights and a woman’s right to choose. He is a firm supporter of the first amendment – which any feminist out there should be thankful for…yeah, I said it. At the end of the documentary, I sat there for a minute, remembering my 8 year old self in her slip singing into the mirror. I remembered my 15 year old self loving her hips until someone told me not to. I thought of the wasted years (almost 20), listening to other’s opinions and going along with them out of fear of being ridiculed, judging myself because of someone else’s opinion of curves and sexuality. I had been blaming Playboy, the bunnies and Mr. Hefner for my insecurities about my curves and my sexuality and all the while they were the ones celebrating it.

Ladies, we are beautiful. We come in all shapes and sizes. We should celebrate each other, not bash each other. If you think a certain hairstyle is too provocative, then don’t get your hair styled that way – and do not bash the woman who does. Do not assume the woman who is rockin’ the skinny jeans and stiletto’s has had “work done and is showing off.”…deep down, we all know there is a tad of jealousy there. Yeah, I said it. Instead of bashing her and her great ass, get on over to the gym and create your own great ass. Oh, and ladies, say what you want about the bunnies…you know that if you looked like them you would wear that costume to the grocery store…I know I would.

 

 

 

beauty

Grey skies smilin’ at me

It has been a few days since my last tale, I know. Every time I sat down to write the words wouldn’t come…not because of lack of material. Oh, I have many tales to tell of product knowledge, product review and your all time favorite Tales of Truth to tell, yet still once I sat down, opened up my laptop…nothing. All that would come to mind were all the negative remarks or behavior that had surrounded me all day and I was so done with it all. The days have been grey and spring has not yet sprung and quite honestly, from the moment the open sign turns on to the minute I lock the door at the end of the day, I am constantly reminded of this. Not only by the birds eye view from our front window, but from customers at the register to the DJ on the radio, so in turn I was becoming negative and began to act like a girl (yeah I said it!) and started to read WAY too much into everything and was making myself miserable…it wasn’t until today that I realized…well more like admitted it to myself.

While at the shop today an elderly couple who are regular customers of the shop came in. The husband has a cane and many problems with his feet, so they come in and buy the Gehwol Herbal bath. They are a sweet couple and always have a tale of their own to tell. As they were leaving today, they thanked me for all my help and making sure I always had two boxes in stock for them. They told me I help them feel better. It was then that I kicked my own ass and told myself to get over all the negative and get on with it already. I have my health, a man who loves me, a loving family who gives me a soft place to fall, a beautiful daughter who I cannot wait to see who she becomes,( she is quite awesome if I do say so myself), I have a job that I love, and friends that I can call in the wee hours of the morning. So really, a little grey sky and negative comments ain’t so bad.

Ladies and gents, it is time to change the record. The skies may be dull and dreary but we do not have to be. Paint your nails with China Glaze “Shocking Pink” to make you smile while you type and paint your toes with China Glaze “Flip Flop Fantasy” to add a spring to your step. Get some Joico Kpak Revitaluxe and restore the softness and shine to your dry winter tresses. Get yourself some OPI Avojuice CoCoMelon lotion to bring the beach back to your senses. Spray some KMS HairPlay SeaSalt Spray into your hair to give yourself that “just left the beach” look. If spring won’t come to us, then let us go to spring.

beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

What’s your sign?

Today marks my 1 year anniversary in the blogging world. 1 year. Wow. Last year at this time I sat at our home computer with a quivering hand hovering over the “publish” icon…so afraid that I would fail, that no one would read my silly opinions or think I was funny. What I really was afraid of was succeeding. Yep. Afraid to succeed and not for the reasons you think. I wasn’t fearful of people now expecting better of me, I was scared shitless that success would make me look back on my past 20 years and realize I should have been doing this all along and my world would come crumbling down. Then I realized that the only reason I was able to do this was because of my past 20 years. – I say 20 years because quite honestly before the age of 21, we don’t know a damn thing. One of my favorite quotes (now) is by Mark Twain – “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years.”.

Back to the tale at hand. In past blogs I have written about kindness, about taking the time to listen, to take the time to see, really see the person in front of you. We all have struggles and stresses in this life – Christ – this past year I feel like I have lived 5 years in the span of 12 months. There were days I wanted to wear a sign around my neck to let the world know what I was going through that day and then maybe I wouldn’t get a flat iron thrown at me. (It happened more than once – I have witnesses). One day the sign would have read “Father in hospital”. Another day it would have read “Husband’s heart medication is working against him”. Another day it would have read “My daughter has to deal with a sick parent way before she should have to.”.

The one thing the past year has taught me is this…DO NOT WAIT. In the blink of an eye your life can and will change – it may feel like for the worse but the best comes out soon enough. Take your kids to the park – even when you are tired and bored. Take the time for your spouse – for cuddles on the couch or romps in the boudoir. Leave the crumbs on the kitchen floor for a couple of hours and watch the movie with your kids. When your hubby comes up from behind and hugs you while you are doing the dishes, let the dishes soak and hug him back and be sure not to be the one who stops hugging first. Start your blog – tell your story.

I have also learned we all have our own signs, some are harder to see, but are always able to be read if we take the time and pay attention and show a little kindness.

beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

It has been over a week since my last post. As you know, I am a manager of a glorious salon/shop, a mother of a girl on the verge of 16, a wife, a blogger (hey I missed a week…ease up), and a gal who is slowly but surely embarking on yet another path – retail/salon consultant….oh, and I love to bake tasty treats. Some people see that as busy or over loaded, I see it as life, my life. The past week has been overloaded. I am not getting into details because quite honestly, what’s done is done and there is nothing I can do to change it, I can just deal with the here and now. Nope…you can keep asking…not gonna get into it.

I realized this morning as I told my hairspray to “screw off” because it wasn’t spraying properly, that I had to take a step back and take a moment for me. A moment that didn’t include cooking, cleaning or looking after anyone else. I have written of this before and will continue to write about it, as women, we forget about ourselves. We put everyone else first, put ourselves last and then blame everyone else. Yeah, I said it. You know it’s true. Think about it…how many times have you looked at the kitchen floor at the end of the day and thought “I am the ONLY one who will sweep this floor!”, you don’t ask for someone else to help, you sweep the floor and then proceed to tell everyone in your household “Nothing” when they ask what is the matter. Then your poor hubby asks if you picked up the dry cleaning and you answer with a sarcastic tone, an argument ensues, you end up crying with mascara running down your face and snot hanging from your nose stammering out “I…never…get…any…help!” as your family waits for your head to spin around. Trust me, in the past (month)I have been that woman and am trying with all my might to not be her. It isn’t fair to your family. Most importantly, it isn’t fair to you. To save your family and yourself some grief and to save a call to your local Archdiocese, check out the following little list;

 

– If you want to go out for dinner – tell your hubby that you want to out for dinner. He is not Timmy and you are not Lassie “what’s that girl? You want to go out for dinner?”

– If you want to change your hair color to a certain shade of red, tell your stylist. Bring a picture of the exact color you want. Sitting in their chair hoping they remember the shade of the red M&M but a little deeper red ain’t gonna cut it.

– If you are not happy with the cut your stylist is giving you, tell them. If you sit there and smile and say you love it, they are going to keep giving you the same style. I am all for positive thinking but sitting in the chair and using “the Secret” to attract the style you want won’t work. It won’t.

– If you want to go out with your girlfriend for coffee, call her up and ask. Sitting around complaining that no one ever calls you makes you, well 13 years old.

– If you need help around the house, ask for it. Chanting “Cinderella, Cinderella…all day long it’s Cinderella” may not insure aid.

– If you want your gent to bring you flowers, tell him. NICELY. Having Diamond & Streisand playing “you don’t bring me flowers” on repeat every time he crosses the threshold is a little over the top.

No one can help you if you don’t tell them you need help. No one knows what you need unless you tell them what you need. A baby will cry at everything you give them until you give them the thing they want for Christ’s sake, so I think you can ask for someone to sweep the floor. Home and family should be one of the most beautiful things in your life, why ugly it up with shoulda’s, coulda’s and woulda’s?

 

 

 

 

 

beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Would you be your valentine?

It’s February 11th. T minus 3 days until the big day…Valentine’s day. On the radio, at the shop, in the express check out line at the grocery store I hear the same things “He better not forget my favorite chocolate!”, “I better be getting the biggest bottle of Moroccanoil money can buy!”, “If he knows what is good for him I will get a spa package for Valentine’s day!”. Besides getting to be a witness to this ugliness I also got to see a sad, sorry sight…a terrified grown man holding two stuffed bears…most likely terrified because he knew if he didn’t come home with the right gift on Valentine’s day, it may very well be his last Valentine’s day. Quite honestly, if that is how the relationship works, his better half is lucky he is coming home at all. Yeah, I said it.

As you know, from time to time I tell a tale not of Salon ideals or product knowledge but of what goes through my mind, my opinions, take ’em or leave ’em. Today is such a day with such a tale. So many people wait for February 14th. to shower their loved ones with gifts, compliments and love instead of doing it everyday. We put way too much pressure on ourselves and our relationship’s because of a date on the calender.

Here’s an idea…how about we try to have a little Valentine’s everyday. Oh calm down ladies. I am not saying you need to be in a teddy and 6 inch stiletto’s waiting at the door with a martini, but a compliment or a thank you for taking out the trash might be nice…not just for your better half, but for yourself as well. As for the gents, I am not saying you need to bring home flowers every week, but a kiss hello and goodbye everyday would be lovely, again, not just for your better half, but for yourself as well. If one of you ain’t happy…nobody’s happy.

I have quoted Ms. Angelou before and will continue to say it, you teach people how to treat you. Ladies…if you want your gent to get you your favorite chocolates and a spa day…try not making him recite on a daily basis a list of your favorite chocolates and spa services. How about you try being nice. Remember Nellie Oleson? Yeah…she didn’t get what she wanted until she was…NICE. (you know….Percival came to save the restaurant and….oh, go rent the DVD.). As for the gents in the house…if you want your wife to spice up the bedroom attire…telling her that the bra and pantie set you bought her looked great on “Destiny” at the “club” probably isn’t the best compliment. I know you think it is. Trust me…it’s not.

Hug one another every day. Kiss each other hello and goodbye every day. Say “I love you” when you leave the house for the day or before you put your head down each night. Compliment each other. If you criticize, try your best to be kind.- Ladies…if it is that time of the month…wait a day or two to criticize – yeah, I said it. You are not in the right frame of mind and you know it and honestly it just frightens our poor gents. *side note to the gents – if you know what is good for you – you will NEVER mention the above out loud.

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, Uncategorized, Women

Contents under pressure may explode

If you have ever held a can of hairspray in your hands, you have seen the warning label “contents under pressure may explode”. Over the past few weeks, I have run into many women that should have had (and read) the same warning label. Today’s tale is about easing up on yourself, and your loved ones…they can thank me later.

In these days of instant messaging and texting and minute to minute play by play status updates on Facebook and Twitter I know it is difficult for many to understand…I hope you are sitting down, sometimes, what you want will not always be there when you want it. I know…there there. It’s gonna be okay. Put your puffer away. Calm down. No need to bring on a stroke because the modem connection to the debit machine is slow and you have to wait….sniff….10 whole seconds. No need to stress out and cause yourself to lose your hair because your flat iron is on back order. If you are suffering from hair loss Nioxin is your answer…but I digress. There is no need to almost pull your child’s arm out of it’s socket and scream in their face because they are 2 years old and have been out all day listening to you complain that you cannot find the “right” shade of red nail polish and they don’t feel like walking anymore. Seriously….take a breath. Look around you. Do you have shoes? Are you wearing a coat? Do you own a cell phone? Have you eaten today? If you can answer yes to any of the above…you got it pretty good. Calm down.

Over the past few weeks;

– I have had a lady shake her curling iron in my face demanding I tell her why they don’t make the same model of curling iron (she bought it in 1987 – she had the receipt to prove it…I shit you not).

– I have heard women whine about their appointment needing to rescheduled because their stylist had to go to the funeral of her Aunt. (yep…they even tried complaining to me, seeing if I could get the stylist to come in before the funeral….yes….sorry to say, women like this exist).

– I have witnessed a woman break into a sweat over the debit machine redialing the modem connection. “Why is this taking so long?!? I have to get to the gym for Christ’s sakes!”. I told her it would be just a few more seconds to which she responded “You need a new machine!This one is crap!”. ….alrighty.

– I have the sweetest elderly couple that comes into the shop. They always come in for the Gehwol Herbal Bath – a lovely foot soak. The husband has some health issues and the foot soak makes him feel better so his wife likes to buy it for him. There were two boxes left so the couple bought them both. After they left a woman came up to the counter and asked if I had anymore of the Gehwol Herbal Bath. I told her no but I had more on order and delivery should be the following Monday. The woman got angry. I mean MAD. She actually accused the elderly couple of “hogging all the good stuff.”….Miss Congeniality ladies and gentlemen.

– From time to time the bar code changes on packaging and sometimes I miss it when unpacking the orders. When the bar code won’t scan, I can bring up a product list in the computer and select the product I am selling. I had a customer accuse me of looking up the product and taking my time on purpose because I knew she was on her lunch break… Wow.

We all have things to do and places to be. Every one’s time is just as important as everyone else’s. Take a breath. Choose your words and actions carefully – if you slip up and spew venom – apologize and mean it. Remember – contents under pressure may explode…and you never know where your shrapnel will land and the damage it may cause.

beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Different but the same

Over the past few days I have had many salon tales come into my mind. So many tales to tell but how do I choose which one? I began this blog with the soul purpose of educating and enlightening the masses about the world of beauty and professional hair care products with easy to follow tips and opening doors that seemed to be locked and letting you join the club. I also wanted to wake up stylists and salon owners from their nightmare of what they thought was good customer service.

My primary goal is and will always be the same, to educate and enlighten. Over the past few months my tales have begun to travel down different roads, from customer service to product knowledge to how to be kind, not just at the Salon but where ever one may roam. You see, I am finding more and more, everyday, that beauty isn’t just the visual. It’s the emotional, the physical and the spiritual….maybe it’s because it is Sunday and I am missing my grandmother…who knows. Yeah, yeah…I know…you’ve watched Oprah and read “The Secret” so this isn’t news to you…or is it? Funny thing is, most Oprah and Secret die hards that have a library of all the #1 New York Times best sellers about self help and self love and loving your fellow man are the same people who mock their teenage daughter’s in public about their oily scalp and acne prone skin, or call their sons “tinkerbell” because he wants his hair style done just so and can’t live without KMS Molding Paste. Don’t get me wrong, I slip up all the time, did it last week when my daughter and I were out and I exclaimed and pointed at a sale item (I love a good deal). The item was Always overnight pads. Oops. I apologized on the spot. I am sure there is a doll with a pin in it in her room somewhere.

Being me, I have to clarify. Drives my husband CRAZY. I wanted to let you all know that I will always give you the newest product knowledge and information I get my hands on. I will give the tips you need for a great cut or Salon experience. I promise to continue with tales of my daily adventures in the Salon and all the tales of flying flat irons and mumblers and screamers. I will also keep telling the tales of kindness, the tales of inner and outer beauty. There is so much beauty around us, from the sound of our children giggling to the sound of our loved one sleeping beside us, the way the sun casts a shadow, the way the wind feels blowing through your hair while driving, the beauty of seeing someone, really seeing them and raising them up from such a simple act.

Want to change your perspective? Want to be more kind and stop being an ass? Just like being an ass, kindness is practiced. It takes effort, an effort with a great reward. You cannot just say you are going to be kind and then it happens. That’s like saying you are Jewish just because you attended a Bar Mitzvah.

What ever you put in, you get out. Plain and simple.

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Don’t ask…don’t get.

“Every time I try to find a new hair stylist the first thing I ask them is “What cut would you give me?”. Then they always say the wrong thing so I get up and leave.”. Yes, ladies and gents, this is something I have heard not one but many women say. It has to be one of the dumbest phrases uttered in my presence and believe me, I have heard some pretty stupid stuff. These are the same women who do the same thing to their husbands/boyfriends/partners and complain that they are not happy…ever. First of all, unless your stylist is Dionne Warwick or an operator at the Psychic Network, it is impossible for them to know what cut you have envisioned in your pretty little head. Second, what is this? Third grade? Talk about setting someone up to fail. That is rude and just plain mean, and stupid. Which brings me to today’s tale or lesson if you will. I have been married over 17 years and every once and a while I fall off the wagon and start blaming my lovely hubby for my malcontent and it is not his fault. The fault is mine and I am just looking for someone else other than myself to blame. (He is LOVING that I am admitting this.).

In this life, we all want to be seen. We all want to heard. We all want to look great and feel great and have people notice us. We all want to be happy. One thing we all seem to forget is that we are in charge of our own happiness, no one else is. Every day I hear women slamming their husbands/boyfriends/partners, that they aren’t helpful enough, that they aren’t “present” or “involved” enough. I have even heard a woman complain her husband locks the bathroom door, she doesn’t understand why he feels he has to lock the bathroom door when he is taking a shit. Hey lady. Question for ya…you want the door unlocked when you are waxing your upper lip?

Ladies (and gents), if you want help, you must ask for it. If you want something, you must ask for it. There isn’t a stylist on earth that can guess you want to be a redhead, you must tell them. No man on earth is going to see a woman at a washing machine and ask if she needs help sorting the whites and the colors. Nor when he sees a bottle of Comet on the counter will he stop and think “Hey…maybe I should clean the toilet.”. It ain’t gonna happen. He will not notice that you have changed your blonde highlights from light golden brown to medium golden brown…ease up.  If at any time you have frowned at flowers or a gift, you have now solidified in his mind to never do that again. No offense to my lovely gents but you are simple creatures. Admit it, you know damn well that if you brought a woman carnations and she pouted at them, in your mental safety checklist that insures you will still get laid you put a check beside “carnations bad – never buy again”. Not to let anyone down and for future reference, here is a little list for you to refer to.

– when you want your cut a certain way, bring in a picture and ask the stylist if they can help you achieve the desired look. Do not hold the picture behind your back and offer a greater tip if they can guess what hairstyle you are holding in your hand.

– when you want to change your hair color, bring in a picture, preferably not black and white. (yep…it’s happened)

– when you are looking for a hairspray, know the hold factor you want. Do not say “any hold is fine” and then complain that the firm hold is too firm and all you wanted was a soft hold to get rid of your fly aways. See?! You knew what you wanted, you forgot you weren’t speaking with your psychic friend.

– when you want help, ask for it. Do not pout, bat your eyelashes or squeeze your cleavage together hoping he will catch on that you need help folding the laundry…all he is thinking is he’s about to get something…and it ain’t towels.

– if you are unhappy, it is not anyone else’s fault. It’s not. Sure people are asses and say and do terrible things. In the end we decide how much of a grasp we will allow said actions have a hold on our daily life and our happiness.

– if you have never told someone that what they are doing upsets you, shut up and stop whining. Yeah, I said it. We teach people how to treat us. Don’t like the treatment you receive? Change your lesson.

If you want love, you must give love. If you want kindness, you must give kindness. If you want respect, you must give respect. If you want help, you must ask for it. If you want carnations…do not pout when they are given.

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Place your bets

So here we are. It is the beginning of yet another year and with it’s commencement comes the resolutions. Working at a Salon I am privy to many such resolutions, from “I’m gonna finally leave his sorry ass!” to the old stand by “This is the year I am going to the gym EVERY day!”. Myself, I no longer make resolutions. I gave up losing my money at that carnival game years ago. Too much pressure and quiet honestly, who needs the stress? Between working full time, being a wife and mother, bff, blogger and all around awesome gal (if I do say so myself…you should know by now, I am quite good at tooting my own horn), if I am going to stress over something it’s gonna be about the health and well being of a loved one, not if I am keeping my resolution to only have 1 coffee a day.

Over the past few days I have heard the resolutions of many of our clients and customers. One thing they all had in common was this, they all said they “had to.”. Had to?!?! When you were 10 you “had to”. If you are over the age of 18 and no longer living under your parents roof, resolutions, choices -take your pick, should be “want to”. By the way if you are over the age of 25 and still living with mommy and daddy, I think they have a resolution in mind for you. Where was I? Oh yes, ladies and gents, if you must make a resolution this year, how about you try to live a “want to” life instead of a “have to” life. This is not a new idea, I know. I was reminded of this back in the fall of 2012. I was fortunate enough to win a ticket to hear a great speaker, Mark Gaylard (Google him). Long story short -the message of the evening was do you want a “have to” or “want to” life, and baby, I want a “want to” life. Now to today’s tale.

I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime and look up to see a mother and daughter duo. I say hello and ask if I can help them find what they are looking for. The mom blurts out as she points to her daughter “Help her. I am beyond help.”. Oh, how I love a challenge. “Why do you say that?” I ask. She  then begins to tell me “I am no longer in my 20’s and I have to get used to it. Even my husband says so.”. So I asked her if she wanted to get used to it. The woman just looked at me and her daughter’s jaw dropped. I explained I meant no offense, I wanted to be sure she was okay with getting used to it, because I thought she had great hair. “You like my hair?” she said. I said that I did and that I could help her make it look even better if she wanted my help. I ended up giving her and her daughter some samples and the Salon’s price list. As she was leaving she said she would be calling for an appointment because she wanted one, then winked at me.

It is a new year and with it new possibilities lurk around every corner. This can be the year you quit smoking, muster up the courage to ask for help and go to rehab, let go of your fear of being attractive and go and try a new hair color and style, lose that weight that you have carried around long enough – pounds or people. Go and have a “want to” life. You are a safe bet and worth the wager.

 

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Painting a masterpiece

I have to do something I do not like to do. I have to sound like a mother. Yes, I know I am a mother, that doesn’t mean I like to sound like one. Today’s tale is more of a lesson, maybe a lesson you learned but have forgotten…I can only hope. Today’s lesson is this…when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Shut your mouth and open your ears. You will get your turn to talk and believe it or not, what the other person is saying is just as important as all the little words aching to escape from your mouth.

Every day, and yes, I mean EVERYDAY, someone asks me a question about hair products and before I can finish a response, I am spoken over or get the all time no eye contact crossed arm toe tappin’ favorite “mm hmm” or “uh huh”. First of all, don’t do that, you look like an ass – may I remind you – you asked me a question. If you didn’t want me to speak to you maybe you shouldn’t have asked me a question. Second, just because some chick on YouTube said it was the “best product EVER!” doesn’t mean it is the best product EVER! for your hair. Third, do not select the words you like best that I have said and make up a whole new sentence – the telephone game has had it’s day and that day was in the third grade…last week if you are one of the ponytail yoga pant wearing women who’s turf is the school parking lot/drop off zone.

I understand that there is a lack of customer service out there and that we have all been led down the garden path a time or two, myself included…making your own candy molds kit – enough said. You need to remember something. There are those of us in the beauty biz that are professionals, that educate themselves on a daily basis, that have a passion for what we do, that will tell you the truth about products – not our truth – the truth – the facts that we have learned from our product knowledge classes and the answers we have been given. I can only speak for myself – by the end of every product knowledge class I have attended, the educator is exhausted by my questions. I ask what I know my customers/clients will want to know. If I am asking you to spend $15.00 on hairspray, I know that I better damn well know why. Trust me, I am far from perfect and make mistakes all the time. I also own up to my mistakes, say “I don’t know” when I don’t know and then find out as soon as I can. So, me being me, here is a little list for you. It can be used at your next Salon visit, dentist visit, even with your next coffee date with your bff.

– If you don’t want someone to speak to you, it is a good idea not to strike up a conversation. This tends to make the other person think you want to have a conversation.

– After you have asked someone a question, let them finish their answer – until their mouth stops moving yours should not.

– A conversation is not a game of beat the clock. If you can get your next question out before the other person has finished their answer, there isn’t a prize waiting for you behind door #1.

– If you don’t understand what the other person is talking about, tell them, nicely. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow what you are saying” is always better than “what the hell are you talking about asshole”.

– If you don’t know the answer, say you don’t know. Never pretend you know something you don’t. You will be found out and any respect you may have had will disappear.

– Listen. I don’t mean acknowledge that the other person is speaking. I mean listen to them. Don’t just nod your head silently repeating to yourself the next sentence you are going to say. Hey – you want attention. So do they.

– When someone tells you an answer other than the one you have, don’t assume they are lying. Maybe they have the proper facts and you do not – remember – just because someone is a Doctor doesn’t mean they graduated top of the class.

– As Muhammad Ali said “If you can back it up it ain’t braggin'”. If you can’t back it up – stop braggin’ and check your facts.

So there you have it. Listen. Pay attention. Be patient. Do not assume you know best and everyone else doesn’t know what they are talking about. It is best not to paint everyone with the same brush, if you aren’t careful, you will become a part of your own masterpiece.