Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Who knew Qtips could do so much?

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“If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you’d have no friends left” – Marcia Hutchinson. I came across this quote a few months ago, and over the past few days it keeps popping up around me, be it on Facebook, Pinterest or over hearing conversations in the Salon. Funny tale to tell today…well, funny in a “okay, I get it” kind of way.

Confession. I haven’t always been this confident woman you read before you. I was that girl, the one who acted confident but went home everyday thinking she was fat, stupid, dumb, ugly…take your pick of any negative description of a person and that was what I thought I was. Over the past few weeks, I have heard the same phrases coming out of the mouths of the women coming into the shop, and I have let it get to me. You know what they say…what you surround yourself with you become. I started to bring it home with me, which is never a good thing, nothing worse than letting someone get in your head and reside there rent free. The constant negativity compounded with a few personal exclusions over the past few days were the perfect ingredients for a recipe for emotional disaster. Yes, I am 40 but it stills stings me a bit when I am excluded…I’m working on it.

Last night, as I was sitting and pouting, on my twitter feed I came across the above quote and literally right after came across this little gem from @simonsinek “If you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to get used to the idea that not everyone will like you”. (told you this was an “okay I get it” kind of tale). He is right. I know that. I blog about it all the time. I had forgotten. I had let myself wander off my path because it was getting lonely at times. Funny thing is, when you stop being true to yourself, you become more miserable and lonely than you thought you were to begin with.

This morning, I was still a little glum, couldn’t seem to shake my melancholy, then I went into the bathroom and saw that my hubby had refilled the Qtip jar and everything fell into place. Yep, I am that easy to please. In that instant I realized that all the negative thoughts floating around in my head were not mine, they belonged to the woman who yelled at me because the hairspray I had introduced her to that she loves is on back order…until Monday, and to the woman who didn’t understand why exchanging her flat iron was so easy to do and disappointed that the process didn’t take 20 minutes like she had planned it would. (seriously folks…I WISH I was making this up). All the anger I had towards my family was not my own, it belonged to the woman who’s husband had found a new love and to the gentleman who was angry at his wife because he had to pick up her hair color and she “never” does anything herself. I do like my hair, and I do think I look good and am proud of it. I don’t down play myself because I am now 40 and as the lovely woman in jogging pants and rubber boots so lovingly pointed out “putting on jewelry and doing your hair when you are over 35 is stupid”.( I got to meet this gem in the 1-8 item line at the grocery store…she had 9 items by the way).

It is so important to be kind, not just to others, but to ourselves. We teach people how to treat us (thank you Maya Angelou) and, although I hate to admit my faults, over the past few days I have been responsible for the negativity coming my way. I was letting it get to me and become the lesson I was teaching to all who crossed my path. With a little help from my Twitter feed and  a jar of Qtips, I have a new lesson plan.

Beauty, Business, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Divert your attention

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As you know, I manage a retail shop/salon. The shop carries over 25 professional hair care lines. Yes, the same products that stylists use in salons. So, I am sure you can understand my frustration, not just for myself but for every consumer out there, that our products are showing up on department and drugstore shelves. In the beauty biz we refer to these products as “diverted stock”. For instance, when you see Joico at your local supermarket, Joico did not sell it to the local grocer. I don’t know who nor how it ended up on their shelves, all I know is it doesn’t belong there. You cannot be guaranteed what is in those bottles…why do you think the disclaimer “only guaranteed when purchased at a salon and or from a professional stylist” is written on every professional hair care product? For that exact reason.

At least 3 times a week I hear someone tell me that they saw Matrix Biolage or KMS Silk Sheen at a discount department store (won’t name names…you know who they are) for a lower price than mine. I explain that it may be old stock and tell them what I have just explained to you and tell them they cannot be guaranteed the quality of the product. What I really want to say is “better go get it then if it is such a hot deal!”, but I behave myself and remember to practice what I preach (see…told you I wasn’t perfect) and ask them “If it was such a great deal why didn’t you buy it?” to which the usual answer is “I opened it and it smelled funny”. Mmhhmm. 

Ladies and gents, when purchasing any professional hair product, look left, then look right, look up and then look down…if you don’t see a Salon, you may want to rethink your purchase and here is why; (you know me…gotta make a list) 

– the product may be professional but may not be right for your hair type or scalp condition. A cashier can’t tell you that. A stylist or a manager extraordinaire (like me) can.

– you don’t know what is in that bottle. It may look the same, it may even smell the same, maybe you could get lucky and it’s the real deal. If you have just spent $150.00 on your color – is it worth the risk?

– if you have an allergic reaction, the company will not help you out. Now you are out your $2.50 savings off suggested retail price and you have a rash.

– any electric appliance from a curling iron to a flat iron to a blow dryer has a warranty against defect, when purchased at a Salon. Purchased any where else…your warranty is now in question and may very well be void.

When making your purchase at your Salon, not only are you supporting your stylist and the local business’s in your area, you are supporting yourself as well. You are protecting your biggest investment, yourself. ( I’d say You’re worth it…but L’oreal …you know).

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Age appropriate?

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I am a manager of a retail shop/salon. I am a wife. I am a mother. I, like you, are busy and from time to time may miss a news headline or two. Being in the beauty biz I try to keep up with all the latest trends. There is one trend that has baffled me since the first time my eyes gazed upon it and I am in search of it’s conception. I saw it again this morning as I was displaying the Joico Ltr. duo’s…Louis Vuitton bag, Dior sunglasses and ….pajama pants. Seriously?! When and where did this begin? Who thought this was a good idea? Sure, if you are 20 and living on campus and need mommy to do your laundry on your next trip home I guess I can understand, but when you are 40 and running your daily errands?!?! Come on…take a minute and put on some pants. I know you have a minute because you took the time to put on your false eyelashes and Lip Venom to pout up your lips.

As my eyesight struggled to return to normal, I found myself thinking of all the other trends that are not multi-generational. (I don’t know if that is a word…I like it…it fits). The following are trends that women over a certain age should ponder for a minute or two.

– Feathers. Yes they are a cool hair accessory. One strategically placed to add a bit of flare to your ‘do is great. Channeling Steven Tyler is a whole other ball game…unless you are a rockin’ mom, you won’t be able to pull it off. You won’t. You won’t. (by the way…just because you know who Steven Tyler is doesn’t mean you are a “rockin'” mom.).

– When you see a new hair trend on a child under the age of 14 and think it is neat, stop and think about that…you think what a 14 year old is doing is neat, a 14 year old. Wait for it…there you go.

– Hair extensions. An awesome invention…until it falls into the wrong hands. They are an investment, not just of money but of your time. You must maintain them. Nothing sadder than a woman in a designer outfit and a rats nest on her head. Thinking of extensions? Invest in the clip-in extensions. If you know how to use a bobby pin, you can use a clip-in extension. Put ’em in at the beginning of the day, take ’em out at the end. Make sure they are Human Hair or when you go to apply your flat iron or curling iron you could have a melting mess. Come to think of it, go rent “Good Hair” Chris Rock’s documentary.

– False eyelashes. Another terrific accessory when used properly. Take a minute and place them properly. Nothing more scary to the child behind you in the check out line than when you wave at him saying “Hi honey” and it looks like your eye is falling out of your head. Also, unless you are Cher, try leaving the rainbow lashes for a special occasion.

– Hello Kitty.Enough said.

– Tights and belly shirts. Ladies, unless you are a fitness instructor who is at this moment teaching a class…leave ’em in the locker room. There is a reason why she said “oops, I did it again”.

As women we all look back on our youth and feel we missed out on something because parents wouldn’t let us try the newest trend in body piercing or we thought we were too fat or too ugly. That was when we were children. We are now women and know how awesome we are.

What I am getting at is this. If you want to follow the latest trends because it makes you happy and feel beautiful…knock yourself out. If your doing it to be hip, or so your kids will think your cool or to get back at your mother for not letting you get a tattoo when you were 16, take a breath and take a moment to ponder…and please, when you leave the house…put on some pants.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Different but the same

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Over the past few days I have had many salon tales come into my mind. So many tales to tell but how do I choose which one? I began this blog with the soul purpose of educating and enlightening the masses about the world of beauty and professional hair care products with easy to follow tips and opening doors that seemed to be locked and letting you join the club. I also wanted to wake up stylists and salon owners from their nightmare of what they thought was good customer service.

My primary goal is and will always be the same, to educate and enlighten. Over the past few months my tales have begun to travel down different roads, from customer service to product knowledge to how to be kind, not just at the Salon but where ever one may roam. You see, I am finding more and more, everyday, that beauty isn’t just the visual. It’s the emotional, the physical and the spiritual….maybe it’s because it is Sunday and I am missing my grandmother…who knows. Yeah, yeah…I know…you’ve watched Oprah and read “The Secret” so this isn’t news to you…or is it? Funny thing is, most Oprah and Secret die hards that have a library of all the #1 New York Times best sellers about self help and self love and loving your fellow man are the same people who mock their teenage daughter’s in public about their oily scalp and acne prone skin, or call their sons “tinkerbell” because he wants his hair style done just so and can’t live without KMS Molding Paste. Don’t get me wrong, I slip up all the time, did it last week when my daughter and I were out and I exclaimed and pointed at a sale item (I love a good deal). The item was Always overnight pads. Oops. I apologized on the spot. I am sure there is a doll with a pin in it in her room somewhere.

Being me, I have to clarify. Drives my husband CRAZY. I wanted to let you all know that I will always give you the newest product knowledge and information I get my hands on. I will give the tips you need for a great cut or Salon experience. I promise to continue with tales of my daily adventures in the Salon and all the tales of flying flat irons and mumblers and screamers. I will also keep telling the tales of kindness, the tales of inner and outer beauty. There is so much beauty around us, from the sound of our children giggling to the sound of our loved one sleeping beside us, the way the sun casts a shadow, the way the wind feels blowing through your hair while driving, the beauty of seeing someone, really seeing them and raising them up from such a simple act.

Want to change your perspective? Want to be more kind and stop being an ass? Just like being an ass, kindness is practiced. It takes effort, an effort with a great reward. You cannot just say you are going to be kind and then it happens. That’s like saying you are Jewish just because you attended a Bar Mitzvah.

What ever you put in, you get out. Plain and simple.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Full moon alert

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***A note to reader’s…my app. wasn’t updated to 2013…looks like I just attract crazy…read on…

So it happened again. No, I didn’t have to dodge a flat iron. I did however have to dodge the crazy. You would think after 20 plus years in customer service and dealing with the public that nothing would surprise me. The upside to all the crazy I get to witness and deal with is it gives me so much material. I find myself wondering, when did throwing your arms up and shoving your finger in someone’s face over the fact that the scent of the gel that you bought doesn’t transport you to  a green meadow became the norm? Maybe it is all the reality television or maybe it is that oxy’s are now banned in Canada…hmm….then I checked my Moon Phase app. (A necessity to anyone who deals with the public) and realized that the full moon will rise tomorrow. Great.

The phone rings. I begin my usual pleasant greeting when from the other end of the line I hear “Yeah, whatever. Look I bought a flat iron and I don’t like it. I want to return it.”. So I ask if it is still heating up. “Well….yaaaaah. Pfft.” is the eloquent response I receive. I explain that once a flat iron has been used, if there isn’t a defect present I cannot return it, nor can I sell it to someone else. I offer the company’s 1 800 number and tell her to see if they can help her out. “There is a defect! I don’t like it! That’s the defect!”. As I try to explain that does not constitute a manufacturer’s defect, I get to hear the ol’ stand by “You are an asshole and you suck!” then silence…not a dial tone…silence. You see, she is looking for a fight. Guess what? She isn’t getting one. So there I stand for about a minute in silence. After a few more seconds she finally shouts “I’m hanging up now!!!”. Click. It’s only 10:30 a.m..

A woman comes in and says “I bought this stuff here a few years ago. I don’t remember the name of it but I really liked it, do you have it?”. At our shop we have an awesome salon program that tracks our customers/clients purchases…if they have given us their phone number. So, I ask for her phone number to which she replies “no thank you”. I go on to explain I am asking for her number so I can check her file to see her purchases so maybe I can track down the product she is after. Big mistake. Huge. Who knew that little phrase I had uttered would begin a ten minute rant on Big Brother(not the reality t.v. show…lets keep up people) and the government watching our every movement and how it is no business of our Prime Minister what products she buys, and then she asks me again if I know what the product is she is looking for. Oh look…it’s 11:15 a.m..

A gentleman comes into the shop stating “I am never shopping here!!”, walks the perimeter of the shop and leaves.

At our shop, we sell over 25 professional hair care lines, so I deal with over 10 distributors, so if I don’t have the product you are looking for, I can usually order it in. We call it a “special order”. Another big mistake it seems. A woman was looking for a certain Kevin Murphy product that I didn’t carry, so I let her know I could order it for her, I let her know I could add it to our special orders, to which she said “Well! If I knew it was such a bother that it has to be classified as a “special order” I wouldn’t have bothered!” and then she left. I have to admit, I just stood there, I was actually speechless for a moment. You don’t want to know what time it was…too depressing.

I can hardly wait to see what or who crosses the threshold tomorrow. I do know one thing for sure, on tomorrow’s playlist I will be sure to have Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Bad Moon Rising on repeat.

Beauty, Business, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Joico to the world

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  ***Original post from 2013 updated August 2016!

 

As we all know, from time to time products change their packaging or…sniff…gulp…our favorite products are discontinued. Although today’s tale is such a tale, do not despair for I come bearing good news. Yes, it is true. Joico has revamped their packaging and have laid to rest some of their products. Calm down, I told you not to despair. Take a breath, get a tissue or a shot of bourbon and collect yourself. This is a company that cares about it’s customers and they do their best to provide the best service and the best product for their customers. Joico has given a road map if you will of what products they suggest would be a suitable replacement for your beloved product and I have such road map and am sharing it with you. See?!? No need for tears or tantrums.

Here you go;

Discontinued = Joico Color Endure Masque. It’s replacement = Kpak Revitaluxe or Kpak Intense Hydrator

Discontinued = Joico Moisture Recovery Leave In Moisturizer. It’s replacement = Kpak Leave In Protector or Daily Care Leave In

Discontinued = Joico Daily Care Moisturizer. It’s replacement = Joico Daily Care Conditioner

Discontinued = Joico Brilliantine Shine Pomade. It’s replacement = Joico Structure Define Lightweight wax

Joico Structure Define

 

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Humidity Blocker. It’s replacement = Joico Humidity Blocker Finishing Spray *this baby is new!

Joico Humidity Blocker

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Dry Spray Wax. It’s replacement = Joico Texture Boost Dry Spray Wax *this baby is new!

Joico Texture Boost

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Pliable Paste. It’s replacement = Joico Flex Control Pliable Paste *this baby is new!

Joico Flex Control

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Gloss Wax. It’s replacement = Joico Crème wax cocktailed with Kpak Color therapy restorative oil. (my own recipe) *Cocktailed = mixed with

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Flex. Shaping Spray. It’s replacement = Joico JoiMist Medium

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Forming Polish. It’s replacement = Joico Creme Wax (from original Joico collection)

Discontinued = Joico Design Collection Texture Spray. It’s replacement = Joico Matte Grip Texture Creme or Joico ICE Erractic

Discontinued = the complete Joico Silk Results line. It’s replacement is the complete Joico Smooth Cure line – the newest addition to the Joico family and a beautiful line that many of the customers and clients of our shop/salon purchase on a daily basis.

Joico has revamped their packaging as well. It looks AWESOME!

Silver cans = the complete styling line.

Red = the Color Endure line which is now Sulfate Free!

Green = the Body Luxe line (volume)

Blue = the Moisture Recovery line

Copper = the Smooth Cure line which is Sulfate Free

Purple = the Daily Care line

Gold = the Kpak line

So now there isn’t any reason for you to feel lost or abandoned. Feel free to take this road map along on your next trip to the Salon.

 

 

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Don’t ask…don’t get.

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“Every time I try to find a new hair stylist the first thing I ask them is “What cut would you give me?”. Then they always say the wrong thing so I get up and leave.”. Yes, ladies and gents, this is something I have heard not one but many women say. It has to be one of the dumbest phrases uttered in my presence and believe me, I have heard some pretty stupid stuff. These are the same women who do the same thing to their husbands/boyfriends/partners and complain that they are not happy…ever. First of all, unless your stylist is Dionne Warwick or an operator at the Psychic Network, it is impossible for them to know what cut you have envisioned in your pretty little head. Second, what is this? Third grade? Talk about setting someone up to fail. That is rude and just plain mean, and stupid. Which brings me to today’s tale or lesson if you will. I have been married over 17 years and every once and a while I fall off the wagon and start blaming my lovely hubby for my malcontent and it is not his fault. The fault is mine and I am just looking for someone else other than myself to blame. (He is LOVING that I am admitting this.).

In this life, we all want to be seen. We all want to heard. We all want to look great and feel great and have people notice us. We all want to be happy. One thing we all seem to forget is that we are in charge of our own happiness, no one else is. Every day I hear women slamming their husbands/boyfriends/partners, that they aren’t helpful enough, that they aren’t “present” or “involved” enough. I have even heard a woman complain her husband locks the bathroom door, she doesn’t understand why he feels he has to lock the bathroom door when he is taking a shit. Hey lady. Question for ya…you want the door unlocked when you are waxing your upper lip?

Ladies (and gents), if you want help, you must ask for it. If you want something, you must ask for it. There isn’t a stylist on earth that can guess you want to be a redhead, you must tell them. No man on earth is going to see a woman at a washing machine and ask if she needs help sorting the whites and the colors. Nor when he sees a bottle of Comet on the counter will he stop and think “Hey…maybe I should clean the toilet.”. It ain’t gonna happen. He will not notice that you have changed your blonde highlights from light golden brown to medium golden brown…ease up.  If at any time you have frowned at flowers or a gift, you have now solidified in his mind to never do that again. No offense to my lovely gents but you are simple creatures. Admit it, you know damn well that if you brought a woman carnations and she pouted at them, in your mental safety checklist that insures you will still get laid you put a check beside “carnations bad – never buy again”. Not to let anyone down and for future reference, here is a little list for you to refer to.

– when you want your cut a certain way, bring in a picture and ask the stylist if they can help you achieve the desired look. Do not hold the picture behind your back and offer a greater tip if they can guess what hairstyle you are holding in your hand.

– when you want to change your hair color, bring in a picture, preferably not black and white. (yep…it’s happened)

– when you are looking for a hairspray, know the hold factor you want. Do not say “any hold is fine” and then complain that the firm hold is too firm and all you wanted was a soft hold to get rid of your fly aways. See?! You knew what you wanted, you forgot you weren’t speaking with your psychic friend.

– when you want help, ask for it. Do not pout, bat your eyelashes or squeeze your cleavage together hoping he will catch on that you need help folding the laundry…all he is thinking is he’s about to get something…and it ain’t towels.

– if you are unhappy, it is not anyone else’s fault. It’s not. Sure people are asses and say and do terrible things. In the end we decide how much of a grasp we will allow said actions have a hold on our daily life and our happiness.

– if you have never told someone that what they are doing upsets you, shut up and stop whining. Yeah, I said it. We teach people how to treat us. Don’t like the treatment you receive? Change your lesson.

If you want love, you must give love. If you want kindness, you must give kindness. If you want respect, you must give respect. If you want help, you must ask for it. If you want carnations…do not pout when they are given.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Place your bets

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So here we are. It is the beginning of yet another year and with it’s commencement comes the resolutions. Working at a Salon I am privy to many such resolutions, from “I’m gonna finally leave his sorry ass!” to the old stand by “This is the year I am going to the gym EVERY day!”. Myself, I no longer make resolutions. I gave up losing my money at that carnival game years ago. Too much pressure and quiet honestly, who needs the stress? Between working full time, being a wife and mother, bff, blogger and all around awesome gal (if I do say so myself…you should know by now, I am quite good at tooting my own horn), if I am going to stress over something it’s gonna be about the health and well being of a loved one, not if I am keeping my resolution to only have 1 coffee a day.

Over the past few days I have heard the resolutions of many of our clients and customers. One thing they all had in common was this, they all said they “had to.”. Had to?!?! When you were 10 you “had to”. If you are over the age of 18 and no longer living under your parents roof, resolutions, choices -take your pick, should be “want to”. By the way if you are over the age of 25 and still living with mommy and daddy, I think they have a resolution in mind for you. Where was I? Oh yes, ladies and gents, if you must make a resolution this year, how about you try to live a “want to” life instead of a “have to” life. This is not a new idea, I know. I was reminded of this back in the fall of 2012. I was fortunate enough to win a ticket to hear a great speaker, Mark Gaylard (Google him). Long story short -the message of the evening was do you want a “have to” or “want to” life, and baby, I want a “want to” life. Now to today’s tale.

I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime and look up to see a mother and daughter duo. I say hello and ask if I can help them find what they are looking for. The mom blurts out as she points to her daughter “Help her. I am beyond help.”. Oh, how I love a challenge. “Why do you say that?” I ask. She  then begins to tell me “I am no longer in my 20’s and I have to get used to it. Even my husband says so.”. So I asked her if she wanted to get used to it. The woman just looked at me and her daughter’s jaw dropped. I explained I meant no offense, I wanted to be sure she was okay with getting used to it, because I thought she had great hair. “You like my hair?” she said. I said that I did and that I could help her make it look even better if she wanted my help. I ended up giving her and her daughter some samples and the Salon’s price list. As she was leaving she said she would be calling for an appointment because she wanted one, then winked at me.

It is a new year and with it new possibilities lurk around every corner. This can be the year you quit smoking, muster up the courage to ask for help and go to rehab, let go of your fear of being attractive and go and try a new hair color and style, lose that weight that you have carried around long enough – pounds or people. Go and have a “want to” life. You are a safe bet and worth the wager.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Painting a masterpiece

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I have to do something I do not like to do. I have to sound like a mother. Yes, I know I am a mother, that doesn’t mean I like to sound like one. Today’s tale is more of a lesson, maybe a lesson you learned but have forgotten…I can only hope. Today’s lesson is this…when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Shut your mouth and open your ears. You will get your turn to talk and believe it or not, what the other person is saying is just as important as all the little words aching to escape from your mouth.

Every day, and yes, I mean EVERYDAY, someone asks me a question about hair products and before I can finish a response, I am spoken over or get the all time no eye contact crossed arm toe tappin’ favorite “mm hmm” or “uh huh”. First of all, don’t do that, you look like an ass – may I remind you – you asked me a question. If you didn’t want me to speak to you maybe you shouldn’t have asked me a question. Second, just because some chick on YouTube said it was the “best product EVER!” doesn’t mean it is the best product EVER! for your hair. Third, do not select the words you like best that I have said and make up a whole new sentence – the telephone game has had it’s day and that day was in the third grade…last week if you are one of the ponytail yoga pant wearing women who’s turf is the school parking lot/drop off zone.

I understand that there is a lack of customer service out there and that we have all been led down the garden path a time or two, myself included…making your own candy molds kit – enough said. You need to remember something. There are those of us in the beauty biz that are professionals, that educate themselves on a daily basis, that have a passion for what we do, that will tell you the truth about products – not our truth – the truth – the facts that we have learned from our product knowledge classes and the answers we have been given. I can only speak for myself – by the end of every product knowledge class I have attended, the educator is exhausted by my questions. I ask what I know my customers/clients will want to know. If I am asking you to spend $15.00 on hairspray, I know that I better damn well know why. Trust me, I am far from perfect and make mistakes all the time. I also own up to my mistakes, say “I don’t know” when I don’t know and then find out as soon as I can. So, me being me, here is a little list for you. It can be used at your next Salon visit, dentist visit, even with your next coffee date with your bff.

– If you don’t want someone to speak to you, it is a good idea not to strike up a conversation. This tends to make the other person think you want to have a conversation.

– After you have asked someone a question, let them finish their answer – until their mouth stops moving yours should not.

– A conversation is not a game of beat the clock. If you can get your next question out before the other person has finished their answer, there isn’t a prize waiting for you behind door #1.

– If you don’t understand what the other person is talking about, tell them, nicely. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow what you are saying” is always better than “what the hell are you talking about asshole”.

– If you don’t know the answer, say you don’t know. Never pretend you know something you don’t. You will be found out and any respect you may have had will disappear.

– Listen. I don’t mean acknowledge that the other person is speaking. I mean listen to them. Don’t just nod your head silently repeating to yourself the next sentence you are going to say. Hey – you want attention. So do they.

– When someone tells you an answer other than the one you have, don’t assume they are lying. Maybe they have the proper facts and you do not – remember – just because someone is a Doctor doesn’t mean they graduated top of the class.

– As Muhammad Ali said “If you can back it up it ain’t braggin'”. If you can’t back it up – stop braggin’ and check your facts.

So there you have it. Listen. Pay attention. Be patient. Do not assume you know best and everyone else doesn’t know what they are talking about. It is best not to paint everyone with the same brush, if you aren’t careful, you will become a part of your own masterpiece.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Mum’s the word

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So here we are, on the eve of Christmas eve. As I sit here, I am seeing the twinkle of the lights on the Christmas tree, listening to my girl Adele and smelling the yummy dinner my lovely hubby is preparing for me and our girl who makes us three. Yesterday was Saturday, the last Saturday before Christmas and tomorrow is Christmas eve and I was and will be at the shop. Today was truly a day of rest for me. I know…you are thinking “yeah…so what…get on with it.”. Keep your hair on, I’m getting to the tale of the day.

I came to realize something today. You all have heard of my dear ‘ol Dad and my beloved grandmother Leah. I realized today, as she was picking up my girl to take her Christmas shopping for a gift for me, I have yet to tell you of my mother. When I think of my mother, I remember the smell of her perfume as she and my dad were heading out for a night on the town. I remember her heels all lined up in the closet and aching to wear them. (As I have stated before, our clan is vertically challenged, heels are a must…it’s the only way we can reach the first shelf).I remember her putting my hair in rollers and when I looked in the full length closet mirror door after she had taken the rollers out, I thought I looked like Farrah Fawcett and felt pretty.  I also remember her kindness, towards me and my kin and also to others. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I was always the new kid, and let me tell you how much fun that was. Looking back I now realize how much my mother tried to make it easier for me. An extra cookie made it’s way into my lunch when I was the new kid in class, so I could offer it to a potential new friend. She would buy me something from the trendiest store so when I walked into the new school I wouldn’t stand out as much – didn’t last long though…once I opened my mouth, I stood out…that and my larger than life earrings and my “True Blue Madonna” coiffure.

As you know, my Dad was in the hospital. While visiting one evening, I was fortunate to witness another kindness bestowed on another by my mother. An elderly gentleman was one of my Dad’s roomies and he had a friend visiting. He was not able to walk or get up on his own so he had to use a bedpan. My mother had noticed that he and his friend had been holding hands earlier, so she went to the bathroom, got a washcloth with some soap and a towel and gave it to the gentleman so he could wash and dry his hands, so he and his friend could once again hold hands.

As you know, I believe beauty comes in many forms. It can come in the form of foundation and eyeliner, mousse and hairspray, paintings and verse. It also comes in the form of kindness, of consideration, of paying attention to the needs of others. My mother has taught me many things, from how to measure a level teaspoon to threading a sewing machine, how to blot my lipstick and how to draw in three dimensions. She has also taught me to pay attention, be kind, make memories not regrets. Thanks for the memories Mum.