beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Women

…nudge

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Okay Universe, I feel your nudge.

 

…it’s been quite a week! Long story short, one door closes and another opens. The shop is closing. Everyone has a journey and a path that is best suited for them and their lives and must do what is best for them, hence the owner’s decision to close the shop and move on to a place that is more suited for her vision. She is a wonderful stylist and will continue to do well, of that I am certain. As for yours truly, I am excited to see what is around every corner. I love the Beauty industry and anticipate great things.

For those familiar with my blog, you know of my “go for it!” attitude. Well, it’s safe to say, it’s time I take a dose of my own medicine and go for it. What “it” is exactly, I do not know. What I know for sure is this; I will continue to blog and I will continue to be an Independent Retail Consultant. The support and the kindness that has been bestowed upon me these last few days has been humbling and, quite honestly, a huge boost to my ego and for that I am grateful beyond words. I am approaching my 44th birthday and many opportunities are presenting themselves so I got a feeling 44 is gonna be FAB!.

So, stay tuned Beauties! Stay tuned.

 

 

 

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Hair-surance

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Last week I had a woman come in looking for a silicone oil for her hair. I asked her why she was looking for a silicone oil for her hair and she told me “that’s what my stylist said to use to fix my extensions, to make the frizz go away and to help get the knots out.”. I asked her how long she had her extensions in for and she told me 1 week. (I swear, I would have guessed a month.). “Oh, I see” I said. “Yeah, I know they look horrible. My stylist told me I am not taking care of them properly. I guess I am just stupid or something.”. It was then that I asked her if her stylist had told her how to take care of her extensions to which she said “Yes. She told me to go to the drugstore and make sure the shampoo was moisturizing and then she said…” it was then that I stopped her. I actually put my hand up and said “Stop right there. Hold on one minute.”. I took a breath and said “this is not your fault. I am sorry that you spent so much money ($400.00 by the way) and were given the wrong instruction.”. I let her know that she should wrap her head each night, or at least put her hair in a low ponytail/braid before bed. That only professional Salon sulfate free shampoo should be used with extensions. That a flat iron spray should be used when using a flat iron – not a silicone oil like her stylist told her. The poor girl just looked at me. Her eyes began to well up, then stopped. Her look turned from despair to anger, and rightfully so. “My stylist didn’t tell me any of that. In fact, she made me feel like I was an idiot and disrespecting her when I told her I thought there was a problem with my extensions!”. We spent the next 20 minutes talking product and after I rang her through, she thanked me for my honesty. “You are the first person who told me the truth about my extensions”.

The point of today’s tale? Clients and customers come to our Salon’s because they trust us. They trust us with their family secrets, the latest neighbourhood gossip, their fears and their self doubt. Most importantly, they trust us with their hair. It is our responsibility as stylists, Salon managers and Salon owners to guard that trust and help our clients and customers to protect their investment in themselves. It is our responsibility to explain;

  • the importance of the proper shampoo, especially for color clients. Explaining that professional Salon shampoo will protect the their color whereas drugstore shampoo will effect the vibrancy of their color = color fade.

 

  • how to apply shampoo – to emulsify it in your hands, then apply mid shaft and work your way up.

 

  • that sulfate free shampoo’s do not make lots of bubbles or suds. To make more of a lather, add more water. Adding more shampoo just wastes the shampoo and leaves the hair greasy and lifeless.

 

  • the difference between leave in conditioners and conditioning treatments. Yes, sadly many woman I have helped were using a conditioning treatment and leaving it in, which in turn messed up their hair, on many levels. * I ALWAYS stress the importance of rinsing out vs. leaving in. Trust me, your client may look at you like you have three heads, but they will thank you for it later.

 

  • all mousses and root boosts are thermal activated. No blow drying? No volume. Plain and simple.

 

  • the importance of thermal protection. Every client that uses a flat iron MUST have a flat iron spray at home and it MUST be used each time a flat iron is used. *the hair spray today will be cooked into the hair tomorrow without the use of a thermal spray.

 

  • All oils and serums should be applied to damp hair BEFORE blow drying or to dry hair AFTER using a flat iron or curling iron. * oils and serums are not thermal protectants. I want you to think of a hot pan on the stove – what happens when you add oil to a hot pan? Exactly.

 

  • how to take care of extensions. How to wash them. How to style them. Which products are best to use.

 

  • how to take care of their hair after a perm

 

  • how to maintain smooth tresses after a chemical straightening

 

  • how to wash their hair when they have had vibrant colors applied.

In my experience, almost every customer thanks me for being honest with them, for taking the time to explain things to them, the how’s and the why’s of hair product and hair care. Take a moment to speak with your clients about their hair and hair care routine, explain the importance of protecting their investment in themselves. They will thank you for it. As for me…no thanks needed.

 

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

…my stylist said…

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“My stylist said I should use a volumizer.”. “My stylist said that my hair needs a treatment.”. “My stylist said I am using the wrong hairspray.”. These are a sampling of the phrases I hear on a daily basis, more then once, from women and men who have just left their stylist’s chair and have come to see me at our Salon/shop for their hair products. Many times they look confused and more often than not, they look and feel insulted. They have just been told there is a problem with their hair, or the products they are using and were not given a solution. After discussing what it is that their stylist said and more importantly, after I ask them what they think and what they want, I hear an even more common question… “Why didn’t my stylist tell me that?”.

Over the years I have realized one constant in our industry, a key component to any Salon visit is being neglected. Retail. Retailing the products that we use to help achieve our client’s new found love of their hair. Products that we use to keep the vibrancy of their color and the integrity of their hair. Letting your client leave without the proper products and tools to keep the love affair with their hair alive is, well, mean. Yes, mean. Think about it. Your client leaves your chair feeling prettier or more handsome (cannot forget our gents). They have a spring in their step. They are walking with more confidence. They like their reflection. Then the next day, as they are standing in their bathroom trying to get their hair to look as good as the day before, their self confidence begins to fade and they begin to feel stupid. Not giving your clients the proper products, tools and instruction is literally pulling the rug from under them. No one likes to feel like the butt of a joke.

  • First and Foremost! ALWAYS ask what products your client is using at home.
  • when washing your clients hair and you realize that they need to use a clarifying shampoo, explain to them what a clarifying shampoo is and why it should be used.
  • bright and vibrant colors are huge right now. For your clients with multi tone brights, explain the importance of how to wash their hair, that each color should be washed separately for the first few washes so that the colors do not start to bleed together.
  • when discussing the need for a conditioning treatment, explain what that is. Many times the women I have spoken to thought that they were supposed to leave the treatment in, which in turn made their hair look and feel worse than when before using it.
  • explain to your client that a volumizing shampoo and conditioner are a good start but if they want height and volume throughout their hair, styling products must be used. *Trust me, I know of what I speak. Many women I speak to thought that they were doing something wrong because the shampoo wasn’t making their hair look like it did at the Salon.
  • if your client has poker straight hair, let then know that a shampoo for curly hair will not make their hair curly.
  • when using mousse, explain the importance of shaking the can and dispensing it upside down. *That Girl in the Red Coat tip – explain it’s like using a can of whipped cream – if not shaken and dispensed upside down, nothing happens but a great big mess.
  • explain the difference between the hold factors of the hairspray you are using. If your client doesn’t want to fuss with her hair throughout the day, that soft hold factor spray she picked up at the drugstore is probably the culprit of her bad hair days.
  • for your clients that use their flat iron on a daily basis, explain the importance of thermal protectant sprays. They should be used every time the flat iron is used. Every time.
  • if you see you client is dealing with dandruff, instead of just pointing it out, explain different ways they can apply shampoo to their scalp and offer them a Salon professional dandruff shampoo to use at home. *Most brands offer a dandruff/scalp shampoo, you just have to ask.
  • when it comes to waxes and pomades, find out if your client likes a matte finish or prefers a little shine, what kind of hold they prefer and explain the difference.
  • always show your client how to use the products. How to dispense them, how to apply them and how much to use.
  • show your client that every bottle has directions on how to use the product on the back of the bottle, in case they forget.

Ask  your client how they want their hair to look. Ask them if they like to blow dry their hair or not. Ask them if they use a flat iron or curling iron. Ask if they have a water softener. Ask them if there is anything about their hair they would like to change. Asking these questions opens all the doors to understanding your clients needs and wants and in turn, the doors to selling them what they need for their hair are opened too.

Retailing products, tools and giving instruction on how to use said products is a key component to any consultation/appointment. Plain and simple. Your clients are your advertising, they make or break your business and your reputation. If your client only likes themselves, their hair and you while they are sitting in your chair, pretty soon they will looking for another chair to fill.

beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

Womankind?

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I want you to picture two women in a shop. Another woman walks in and recognizes her friend and stops to say hello. Pleasantries are shared. Introductions are made. “So great to see you! You look terrific! Lets catch up over coffee…soon!”. As our third lovely lass is leaving the shop, her heel not even over the threshold, the two women begin “Did you see her hair?”. “Hmmppt…doesn’t she think she is all that since losing weight.”. “I wonder who she slept with to get that job?”. “What’s with the red hair? Doesn’t she know how foolish she looks?”. “I think she drinks too much.” as they saunter up to the counter.

This is a sampling of the daily, yes daily conversations I hear and am sadly sometimes apart of, everyday. I am not proud of this and when I realize what I am a part of, I try to stop it, or at least my part in it. Once I realize what is happening, I am usually excluded from these conversations soon after they begin because I tend to call people out on their shit. The minute I ask “What makes you say that?” or “How is she doing anyway?” or “Oh good for her! That’s awesome!” most women look at me like I have 3 heads and am speaking Chinese, then begin to carry on the conversation with whomever is closest and I am slowly but surely “uninvited” to the conversation.

Ever since I was a child, I never understood meanness or bullies. In fact, I was the kid who would end up getting in a scrap with the school yard bully. I don’t know why, I just had no room for someone being mean to someone else. I would always give them fair warning about what was to come. Some listened. Some did not. Jeans were torn. Eyes were blackened. Tears were shed (of course I held my in until no one was around, had to keep up appearances). In the end, the bully started to leave more kids alone. Some times we ended up becoming friends. Fast forward 30 years and I still cannot understand nor abide meanness and bullying. On the cusp of 44, I can no longer tell the bully to meet me behind the school, but I can speak my mind and speak up for the woman who is not present for the dissection of her image, her decisions and her life. I don’t know what it is about women, we are the first to unite against any man who disrespects a woman, yet we are also the first to disrespect a fellow woman for her choice of skirt length or hair color.

A few years ago, when I saw and heard what my then 15 year old daughter and girls her age were going through, Sunday Confession was born.

Sunday Confession

Today’s I have some reminders for those of us over 21, who should know better and should do better. Be kind. Seriously, it really is that easy.

  • Primary school playground antics belong on the playground.
  • High School is over.
  • Life is not a popularity contest.
  • Gossip is tacky
  • Do not be two faced, with anyone. There is not enough makeup in the world to cover that up.
  • If you see someone you don’t like when you are at the grocery store, do not cower under your shopping cart in hopes that they don’t see you. Do what your mother taught you, smile and say hello as you pass them.
  • When a woman changes her hair or hair color and loves it, do not ask her “Does your husband still kiss you with that hair?” – I have had more than one woman ask me this gem…and the answer is yes, every day.
  • If you wouldn’t give another woman your opinion to her face, please refrain from tweeting it or making it your status update.
  • You do not have to agree or respect another woman’s choices, nor does she have to agree with or respect yours.
  • When the day is done, who cares if you breast feed or bottle feed your baby. All that matters is that they are being fed….and it’s no one’s business what you choose to do with your baby.
  • When a woman loses weight, do not automatically assume her marriage is in trouble – another gem of a question/accusation tossed my way.
  • Reading “50 Shades of Grey” does not mean a woman is easy. …if anything it probably means her partner is very happy.
  • No one is what they “post” to be. (cannot take credit for that one, came across it a while back and love it)
  • When you hear of another woman’s accomplishment, celebrate it and her.
  • Unless you are the Madame of a brothel, it’s really none of your business who a woman has or has not slept with.
  • If you don’t want everyone knowing your business, don’t tell them.

The next time you are about to belittle another woman’s accomplishment, her life choices, her sexual partner or her hair color, remember this…what you say about the other woman says more about you than them.

 

 

 

health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat

Attention

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Well Beauties, yours truly is having a moment. A moment I gotta say something and those who know me know I gotta say it. I gotta.

Lately, I don’t know if has to do with my age (gonna be 44 in August) or my lack of a uterus (haven’t had to pay that monthly bill in over 7 years) or if it is as simple as I have a low, very low tolerance for bullshit, but I seem to have no room for those who lack accountability for their actions, nor do I have any room for those who are unkind.

Working in a Salon, you hear it all.  You hear about the celebrations of life, the trips, the new house and births. You hear about the not so good stuff, illnesses, divorces and deaths of which I have all the patience and time in the world to listen to. Where my attention begins to dwindle? When lack of kindness and accountability enter into the conversation.

A few  weeks ago a woman and her friend came in the shop and she was complaining that her fiancée got upset that she took out her phone as he was proposing. “I wanted to capture the moment for my Instagram and he got mad at me! He actually asked me if I could wait until he finished the question. Can you believe it?” …that he continued the proposal? (gotta admit, that was what I was thinking). She was actually mad at him. She kept going on about how he ruined the memory. Yep. He and he alone ruined it. I just stood there, trying not to show it on my face. This woman was so caught up in herself that she couldn’t see her part in any of it, well, except for her Instagram pic. She later complained that it wasn’t fair that her favorite OPI shade had been discontinued and got mad at me that there wasn’t anything I could do for her. …by the way, her phone never left her hand and with every third word spoken, her eyes looked at her phone. …sigh.

I get the importance of social media and the lure of smartphones. I am a blogger, a Retail Consultant and a Salon manager so I get it, I do. I also get that as important as they seem, there are other more important things in life, like  my loved ones, being kind, being present.

Being me, I have compiled a little list for you all, some daily reminders if you will. Feel free to share – no pun intended;

  • before you tell a story, be sure it is yours to tell
  • when you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize, to their face.
  • when someone is speaking to you, put down your phone and look at them. They are speaking to you, not texting you, there is no need to look at your phone.
  • not everything needs to be shared. I am so pleased your toddler pooed on the potty…didn’t need to see it on my timeline.
  • it is not the salesperson’s fault that your favorite polish is discontinued.
  • when you are getting your hair cut, put down your phone. You may not realize it, but when you text, your head moves.
  • do not take a selfie during your bikini wax. #toomuchinformation
  • if you wouldn’t chase someone down the street asking if they like your picture, it shouldn’t matter if they like it on facebook
  • life is not “unfair” because your fiancée wanted to share the proposal with you, and you alone.
  • you may like to crush candy, others do not. Please stop sending candy Crush invites
  • if you don’t want the opinions of others, you may want to rethink ending your post with #whatsagirltodo
  • you do not have to agree with everything you read and see on social media…you also don’t have to let everyone know that you don’t agree

Look up once and a while. Think before you post. Ask before you snap a pic. Be kind, plain and simple.

 

 

 

 

beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Man in the Mirror

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In the age of equality, I feel I must write about this today. Today’s tale is for those who want to like their reflection. For those who want to turn heads. For those who want a compliment on their appearance. For those who feel insecure about the changes in their skin, their hair and their bodies. For those who are trying to find the person they once knew, who don’t recognize that person looking back at them in the mirror. Today’s tale is for all the Gents. Yes, for the Gents.

As of late I have realized two things. First, all gents want to look good. Second, when a gent wants to look good, more often than not, he is teased or cursed for it. …and this needs to stop.

I met a man last week that was concerned about his hairline. He was so embarrassed by it, he wouldn’t remove his hat. I let him know that no one else was in the shop, that he didn’t have to take off his hat, he just had to lift the front a little so I could see his hairline, then I would know what products would be best for him. As he raised his cap, his eyes went directly to the floor. I thanked him, I looked at his hairline and told him to remove his hat, since there was nothing to be worried about. He looked at me and said “…but my wife told me last night that my hairline was receding and I should just shave my head.”. It was then that I got out my Nioxin manual and showed him pictures of receding hair lines and hair loss and asked him “Do you look like that?”. He smirked and said “No.”. I explained that yes, maybe his hair line was finer than it used to be, then I told him so was mine and lifted up my bangs to show him. Finally, consistent eye contact! After a few minutes, we decided an updated cut may be the answer and applying some product in his hair to keep it in place. I told him my secret “Getting my hair to look like this…it’s all smoke and mirrors my friend. Smoke and mirrors!” to which he laughed, then thanked me for my time and my courtesy and for not making him feel silly or vain.

I am about to tell you something so that you will know, and someday your children will know…men want to like their reflection, for themselves. Men feel just as insecure as women about aging. Men want their spouses/partners to find them sexy and attractive and worry that they don’t measure up – no pun intended – get your mind out of the gutter. Men know that their hair line is changing, they do not need it pointed out. Think about it ladies…what would happen if a man pointed out your ever so slightly saggy neck. If you are going to tell a man to “just shave your head” because he is beginning to thin a tad, you better be ready for him to say “just get botox” when a line is spotted.  Those familiar with my blog know I have written of this before, see link below;

Receding hairlines and muffin tops

…and from time to time, I will continue to write about this for making fun of anyone or belittling anyone who is trying to improve themselves is unkind and ugly. Plain and simple. If you want to be treated as an equal, be careful how you treat others, for you get what you give.

ThatGirlx3

 

 

beauty, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women

Lost and Found

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I hear the all too familiar chirp of the shop’s door, I look up from my orders to say hello and before I can utter a sound I hear “Well! Look at you!”. …with the right side of my head being shaved and a magenta swoop down the side, it is safe to say I am quite used to this… I smiled and said “Hey! Nice to see you again.”. I asked my customer if she needed my help. She did, so I showed her where the product was that she was looking for, carried it to the counter, asked if there was anything else she needed that day and began to ring through her purchases, all the while she was staring at my head and when I would catch her eye, her smirk would disappear. As we were waiting for her debit to connect, she looked me straight in the eye and said “Wow. Your Hair. Aren’t you looking very Neapolitan.”. I just smiled, reminded myself not to show it on my face, and told her to have a nice afternoon.

Now, in a perfect world, she would have meant I resembled a Mediterranean beauty, but knowing that my skin is whiter than preschool paste, and she was sporting a ponytail and yoga pants (with not a yoga studio within 20kms) I knew it was a crack at my hair color. For those of you a little lost …my hair is blonde, pink and brown and some find it to resemble Neapolitan ice cream. After she left, I found myself giggling. Yes, a little at her small view of the world and herself, but mostly at me and how far I had come. Before the age of 24, I was head strong and quite opinionated yet always fair and kind. I was referred to as “spunky” on more than one occasion and also as a tough broad – a true compliment in my book. You see, somewhere between 24 and 37 I lost myself.  I used to be the woman that after hearing that wise crack about my hair would have been floored and would have run to the closest mirror trying to see what she saw and thinking I should change my hair, and think I was stupid for even trying something new. I used to let the opinions of others control my decisions and would allow their words to hurt me. I wore my hair short because everyone told me to, it made my face “slimmer”. I wore clothes that were clothes “Mother’s should wear”…what ever the hell that means…I still don’t know. Hell, I even carried a purse I hated and wore shoes that weren’t cute and sparkly like I wanted to, because of some dumb ass comment someone made.

I remember when it began to change, or when I began to change. Actually, I didn’t change. I returned to myself. I was 37. It was December 2009 and I had my hysterectomy. That Christmas was low key, as I was physically unable to perform my yearly Christmas miracles. No cookies were made. Gifts were at a minimum. The only Christmas décor to be seen was our tree. Many had an opinion about my lack of Christmas spirit. Some actually were put out that they wouldn’t be receiving my cookies that year. You know what? I really didn’t care about what they thought. I was too relieved knowing that the 11cm x 21cm x 14cm fibroid was not cancer, and that it had not attached itself to any vital organs. I was too happy to have a week with my husband – our girl still had a week before Christmas vacation and hubby was able to be home with me. I still remember the two of us laughing at the fact we had just had an hour long conversation without an interruption – the first time in 12 years. In those conversations I started to feel like myself, and started to remember who I was. It’s amazing what you realize when you take a moment to be still. …try to do it without having to have surgery.

Fast forward to present day. I dress how I want. I own cute shoes with sparkly bows. I wear heels whenever and wherever I want. I have a cute purse. I own more than one red coat – depending on the weather and the season, a girl has to be prepared. I try new things – be it a new flavour of coffee or a new route home. I say yes to my life more than I say no. I no longer give my time away. I color my hair the way I like. I cut my hair and style my hair the way I like. Today, my wish for you, is that you begin to say yes to you, more than you say no. If you are lost, you begin to be found.

I would rather be Neapolitan than vanilla any day 😉

 

beauty, communication, That girl in the red coat, Women

Actions speak louder than words

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The Holiday Season is in full swing. Macy’s has had it’s parade. Black Friday has come & gone. Many are nestled in their beds while visions of Cyber Monday deals dance in their heads. This year marks my 26th. year working in the customer service/sales/retail biz during the Holiday Season. I have heard, seen and smelled (yes, smelled) it all. …and every year I hear the same argument – to wish a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holidays. I remember a time I worked for a company who sent a corporate memo stating that under no circumstance were we to wish anyone “Merry Christmas”, we were instructed to wish our customers “Happy Holidays”. As you all know, I am not a “yes man”, so I continued to wish customers a Merry Christmas, much to my boss’s dismay. She was quite worried I may offend someone, and then they would call head office and she would lose her job. I reassured her that if the customer was wearing a Yamaka, I would not wish them a Merry Christmas. I then had to explain what a Yamaka was …between that and the memo, I knew it was time to leave. Back to the tale at hand. The point I was trying to make to my boss, and am trying to convey today is this – paying attention and being kind are key in the biz of customer service, and in life for that matter. For instance, I have a woman who comes in every November to purchase her Christmas gifts for her kids and grandkids before she heads to Florida. Her purchase is quite large and usually fills 3 – 5 bags. I take them to her car for her. Every year. It is actually the reason she comes back to our shop. The first time she came in, 5 years ago, she had a cane. She was recovering from knee replacement surgery. She told me she always remembered me because I did not ask if I could help her with her bags, I told her I was going to help her, no questions asked. She told me I reminded her of what customer service used to be.

 

Over the past weeks I have been listening to people complain that Merry Christmas isn’t wished enough. I have seen posts on Facebook cheering shops that are writing Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays on their shop windows. I have also seen posts of people stating they will not shop anywhere that says Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. Everyone is so busy being politically correct or trying to look and sound important that they have all forgotten one key point. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters how you behave. Listen, no amount of  Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays wishes can or will make up for ignorance and neglect.

This December, instead of worrying what to say, how about worrying about how to act.

  • When you are at the mall and you see the Salvation Army band playing, don’t hide behind the plants and try to scurry past, holding on to your nickels and dimes – walk over to them, take a moment to listen, and let go of some of your nickels and dimes.
  • Whenever you can, as you are paying for your purchases and are asked if you want to make a donation to a local charity, do it. … if you can spend $100.00 at the liquor store, you can add a dollar or two to your total. Just sayin’.
  • Donate to your local toy drives. Every child deserves a toy on Christmas. Every child can’t wait to tell their friends and classmates what was under the tree Christmas morning.
  • All business owners – this gem is for you. Give your customers a little treat, be it a sample or a coupon for their next purchase. At our shop, the Starburst candy dish at the front cash is always full and samples are waiting to be sampled. We offer free travel size products for any purchase over $60.00. Our customers and clients are giving us their business, they deserve a thank you.
  • Donate to your local food bank. Every grocery store takes non perishable food donations and monetary donations. Everyone deserves food in their cupboards and on their table. Whether you are Christian, Muslim or Jewish – a parent wants to be able to feed their child, and sometimes we all need a helping hand.
  • Shovel your neighbour’s walkway. It’s a lovely surprise for them.
  • Hold the door – enough said.
  • When standing in line and you notice the person behind you has less purchases than you do, let them go ahead of you.
  • Remember those who have lost loved ones and give them a call, or send them a card. There is no better feeling than the feeling that someone is thinking of you.
Actions speak louder than words. Plain and simple.
beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

…a good problem to have

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So, its been a while since my last post. For those who follow my tales (thank you, by the way), you know I call myself out on my own shit – not always an easy thing for me to do – trust me – just ask my lovely hubby and darling daughter. The way I see it, if my words are to hold any water and  if I am going to call people out on their shit, I gotta do it for myself. I gotta.

Over past weeks, between being a Salon manager, a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter, preparing the shop for the retail holiday season, keeping my home and our finances in order and  working on potential career opportunities, it’s safe to say yours truly was a tad overwhelmed and kinda began to lose herself and her perspective. Last week, I was in a pretty foul mood. I found myself losing my patience too often and having the right attitude but with the wrong person more often than I would like to admit. In my corner of the world, the wind was cold and for five days straight, not one ray of sunlight. By Friday morning, with an 8 hour day in front of me, I was done. I was tired. All I wanted to do was go home, have a glass of wine and pout. Then I checked my twitter feed and my perspective changed drastically….and I stopped being a pouty baby that my life had become overwhelming – because my life had become overwhelming because I had made it so. Many others, too many to count did not have that choice.

 

Friday, November 13th 2015 will be a date etched into our memories. Just as September 11th 2001 will be etched in mine. Watching your husband wonder for 10 hours if his brother was alive is a vision I would not wish upon anyone. Ever. Before any of you get up on me about the other violent acts that occurred last week, let me be clear, I know of them as well. I took a moment to educate myself on world events over the weekend, for I, as I am sure most of you, had gotten caught up in my own world and forgot to look up once and while a take a look around. So, instead of bashing the opinions of others and focusing on the violence and the anger of it all, try to remember that no amount of debate, insult or opinion slashing will bring back the loss of a loved one, a child, a parent and innocence. Try to remember that there are many people, in Paris and around the world who wish that deciding who’s opinion matters most was their biggest problem today. We cannot change what has happened, all we can change is how we handle it. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves. So today;

  • when you hear of the loss of loved one or friend, just listen. Don’t ask for details – details will be shared if they want to be. Sometimes, saying nothing at all means more than a thousand words.
  • when you ask “What can I do?”, mean it. Many times there is nothing to be done, but in case there is a need to be filled, you better be willing to step up.
  • there is no need to post every opinion that pops into your head on every social media outlet. If that is what you choose to do, power to you. Please, try not to complain if you do not like the response you receive. (Psst….you get what you give. Just sayin’.) .
  • when you are out running errands, hold the door open for a stranger, let someone in your lane. Buy the coffee for the car behind you in the drive thru.
  • hug your kids and make sure they stop hugging first.
  • hug your spouse and make sure they stop hugging first.
  • take a moment to be thankful, be it for hot coffee, a roof over your head or your health.
  • spread some joy around

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Listen for what you cannot hear

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Beauty – a combination of qualities, such as shape, color or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

I hear the familiar chirp of the Salon’s door chime and as I look up from my purchase order, I see two sparkling eyes staring at me from just above the counter. Standing on her tippy toes, a young girl reaches out her hand and with a squeal, shakes her hand, giving me a prompt to shake her hand. Her mother, standing behind her lets me know that the young girl is deaf, so she likes to shake hands since she cannot say the word hello. I smiled at the little girl, and gave her a wave hello. I came out from behind the counter and gave a “come with us” wave to the girl as I went to help her Mother find the product she was after. As I was explaining how to use the product, I felt a little hand grab mine and little fingers intertwine with mine. I looked down to those sparkling eyes and smile. The young girl pointed to my hair and let out another squeal. It seems her favorite color is purple and yours truly has a swipe of purple throughout my hair. So, I bent down and let her play with my hair. She smiled and squealed and ended up rubbing my head where it is shaved. I showed her Mother the testers of purple hair chalk so her daughter could have purple hair too. Her Mother applied it and once it was done, I motioned to the girl to follow me. I took her over to our biggest mirror, bent down to her level, smiled and pointed to her reflection that she too had purple hair. Her Mother signed it was time to go and as I walked to the counter, my new found purple haired twin kept holding my hand, smiling and squealing. As they were leaving, the Mother thanked me for my help and my kindness and told me that I had made her daughter’s day. Funny thing is, it was her daughter who made mine, and I was sure to let her know it.

After the Mother/Daughter duo left, it got me to thinking. How many other Salon’s had they been to? How many other shop’s had they been in? How many other people did the young girl reach out her hand, only to have it ignored? How many people forgot about just being kind? For a successful Salon, you need more than a great colorist, good coffee and fully stocked shelves. You need to be attentive, sympathetic and empathetic. You need to pay attention to the sights and sounds of your Salon and your clientele and customers. You need to take those extra minutes to explain how to style your client’s new ‘do, or to bend down and let a child touch your purple hair.

Taking a moment to be kind to another human being, especially a child, adds beauty to the world. Plain and simple.