beauty, communication, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women

It’s the little things

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It’s 5 days before Christmas and yours truly is able to enjoy some time off before the big day. The last time I had time off at Christmas was because I had the stupid cut out (hysterectomy)…7 years ago. Sure, I had “time off” at the holidays when my daughter was a toddler, but those of us with children know that although the world may see it as time off, time with a toddler is a 24/7 job with no pay, with a boss who can’t find their shoe and cries because you gave them the wrong colored cup with their lunch…so “time off” is a relative term.

As I was running errands yesterday, I found myself getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays. I almost succumbed to the Grinch and Scrooge mentality. Almost.  Hearing everyone around me sighing, complaining that the lines were taking too long, or honking at each other in the parking lot because they needed that parking space, it’s hard not to get sucked in to it all. As I was listening to the ladies complain about having people over for dinner as they were about to start a rumble over the biggest pot roast in the meat department, I looked over to see an elderly woman with her little basket with a few items in it and I thought to myself “she probably wishes her biggest problem was getting a big enough roast to feed her guests.”. …and that’s when I began to hum a Christmas carol, carry on with my shopping and tune out the sighs and complaints that passed me through the aisles.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no angel as my daughter can attest to. I cuss like a sailor if you are riding my tail end too close in traffic – when I have my kid in the car, her safety comes first so all bets are off. I have been known to use a certain finger when the snowplow comes by just as I have dug out their first visit’s mound of snow and I may have pretended not to speak English when a telemarketer just wouldn’t get “take me off your calling list”. There have been times throughout the days of Christmas past when I pouted even though I knew Santa saw me. There were times I started to Scrooge out or felt the Grinch was onto something complaining about the noise of Christmas, but I always remembered something that others seem to forget. At the end of both these Christmas stories, Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch gave over to the magic and the spirit of Christmas. If they could do it, you can too.

  • give to the Salvation army. If they are giving out candy canes for each donation, do what I do. Ask them to give it to the next child that walks by.

 

  • wave to Santa at the mall. Trust me, he is having a harder day than you.

 

  • don’t fight over a parking space. If the other person is gunning for it, let them have it. If you have to park further away, the fresh air will do you good.

 

  • If the grocery store is out of the size of turkey you need, your family and guests will survive. I promise, the sky will not turn black and the world will not swallow you whole.

 

  • when you make eye contact with someone, say hello or wish them a Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays for those weary of offending.

 

  • give to every toy drive you can find. Any toy will do. The dollar store has coloring books and crayons for a dollar a piece. …psst…you spent more than that on the mocha frappe latte concoction you have in your hand.

 

  • give to your local food bank. If you can, a monetary donation is best – the food bank can stretch a dollar farther than you can imagine.

Take a moment to remember how snow once made you squeal with glee, how hours would pass as you wondered how Santa got to every house. Remember the smell of your Gramma’s perfume as she reached out to hug you, or the cackle of your Grampa’s laugh when he got your joke. Think back to the smiles on your parents faces on Christmas morning, thinking they were so happy Santa brought you your favorite toy, only to now know, the smile was for them and you, not Santa and you. When you take a moment to remember the magic and spirit of Christmas, you too will realize it’s not having the perfectly trimmed tree or the biggest turkey that you remember, it’s all the little things that mattered the most.

 

Business, That girl in the red coat

The “Key” to sales

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There is a word that seems to invoke fear in many Salon owners and stylists alike. The word is retail. Now, before you hide under the covers, I am here to tell you to have no fear. Retail is your friend. Retailing product in your Salon increases profits, helps to ease the financial drain of your overhead and most importantly, keeps your clients hair in the beautiful state it was in at their last appointment and in tip top shape until they see you again. Saryna Key is a line that can do all of the above.

 

Yes, there are many oils in the market. It seems all brands have jumped on the oil bandwagon, so many Salons and stylists think “What’s the point of carrying this line when there are so many others out there?”, “I don’t know how to sell it.” or my all time favorite “Oh, my client’s won’t buy that.”. Well, I am here to help you understand why you should have Saryna Key as a brand in your Salon and how to sell it. Once you educate yourself, you can educate your client. Once a client understands the value of the product, most will not even blink at the cost. Plain and simple.

 

In my experience, many times we get caught up in the ingredients of a product, which I admit are important, to the stylist. The client…not so much. Our clients need to know how to use the product, how much, how often and in what order. So, I am here to tell you how I sold Saryna Key to our clients and our customers. You’re welcome.

Every woman I spoke to asked me the same question. “What’s the difference between all these oils?”. (This is where educating yourself about Saryna Key and its competitors comes in handy.). Before I would answer, I would ask them the following questions;

–          What is the issue you are having with your hair?

–          Have you colored your hair at home?

–          Are you currently using drug store or professional products on your hair?

–          Does your hair fall limp easily?

–          Do you battle with your curl and frizz?

Asking these questions allows you to diagnose your client’s hair situation and give her the proper product. Once the question(s) had been answered, this is how I introduced Saryna Key;

Saryna Key is as an oil that repairs and restores your hair. Saryna Key is one of the only lines that has created separate oils in separate lines for each hair types, unlike other lines that have only one oil, and as we know, not all hair types are the same. 

  SarynaKey Damage Repair Oil SarynaKey Curl Line - That Girl in the Red Coat SarynaKey ColorIMG_20150112_140505

Then I would introduce the value of Saryna Key;

 It offers a better price point for their products. For instance, their 500ml Shampoo is the same price as the competitor’s 250ml bottle of Shampoo. I would introduce them to the Saryna Key selection, starting with the Damage line, then moving on to the Volume line, the Color line and finally the Curl line. I would wait for them to say “What about those?” and then would introduce their Dandruff Shampoo and the Neutralizing Pigment Shampoo (or purple shampoo if you prefer).

Then I would have a 2-3 minute consultation on how and when to use the products. I would explain how many times per week or month the treatment should be used. I would show them in my hand the amount of oil that would be needed. I would show them in my hair, (or theirs if they preferred) how to apply the oil and distribute it properly throughout their hair. I would show them how to mist the shine spray – how far to hold it away from their hair for even shine distribution. For our curly haired Beauties I would explain the importance of proper product application and drying time to avoid frizz and unruly curls.

…and that’s it. It really is that simple. Once the value of the product was presented and the time was taken to explain not only how the product works, but how to work with the product, another bottle (or two) of Saryna Key left the shelf.

beauty, communication, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

The choice is yours

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A few years ago I received a sign for my office from my girl, with many positive affirmations collaged together. The one that sticks out the most to me is “Happiness is a choice you make everyday”. So very true, so easy to remember yet so easily forgotten.

Over the past weeks I have heard the following from friends, family and the people I see everyday;

  • I’d be happier if he was nicer
  • I’d be happier if I got a raise
  • I’d be happier if my child behaved in public
  • I’d be happier if people kept their opinions to themselves
  • I’d be happier if I got to see my friend’s more
  • I’d be happier if I had more help around the house
  • Etc… etc… etc…

It seems everyone wants to be happier, but doesn’t want to do the work. Trust me. I know. It is easier to put the blame of our woes on someone else’s behaviour. Been there, done that. Try my best not to do that anymore. For no one, anywhere, wants to look in the mirror, take a long hard look at themselves and admit a fault. …but darlin’, ya gotta. There is no magic happiness pill, no happiness potion, no mystery man arriving at your doorstep with your package of happiness waiting to be unwrapped, it’s all up to you. Before you get all upset or weepy, I do know that life throws curveballs, of this I am certain. There will be illnesses, job losses, flat tires, spilled coffee, baby spit up on your shoulder that you missed, but the President of the company did not. There will be bad hair days, bloated days, adult acne days ….by the way…what kind of sick cosmic joke is that? We cannot control what happens to us or around us. We can control how we decide to let it affect us. We can control how long a harsh word gets to live in our head rent free.  Have your head spin around and spew venom because the dishes weren’t done or the garbage emptied, or don’t. The decision is yours.

Happiness can be created anywhere, anytime. It can.

  • Had a hard day at work and still have to go to the grocery store? Buy an extra canned good or two and drop in it the food bank donation bin.
  • Your teenager is making you crazy and you are at your wits end over the useless arguments…go look at their baby pictures, their saved school artwork…remind yourself of the love there.
  • Just a long, stupid day? Get yourself some instant cocoa, grab your favorite mug and top that baby off with some whipped cream. …sprinkles too if it the day really kicked your ass.
  • Make a Jello. My gramma Leah always told me that. This way whenever you look in the fridge, you can be reminded that you made something that day and accomplished something.
  • Make some cookies or muffins and deliver them to a neighbour or friend, for no reason. Just to do it. Trust me, 9 out of 10 times, they are in dire need of a glimpse of happiness and a the touch of kindness.
  • Send a joke to a friend.
  • Share a you tube video with a friend, reminding them of a memory you share.
  • Post a joke on your Facebook wall in the morning…it will make someone’s day.

Doing for others is doing for yourself. Making others feel good will make you feel good. Carrying happiness with you will allow happiness to spread to those you are around. Plain and simple.

bubbles

beauty, communication, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Share and share alike

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Everywhere you look, people are sharing. Sharing “likes” on Facebook, sharing pics on Instagram, tweeting their latest opinion on Twitter, snapping a moment on Snapchat. I often find myself wondering, what is real and what is not. Over the past weeks, you may have noticed that yours truly hadn’t been sharing much on my blog. It wasn’t for lack of material or opinions…as those who know me know all too well, when it comes to opinions I have a deep well to draw from. The reason for my lack of sharing you ask? My life and the lives of those I hold dear needed some attention, some tending to if you will. I also needed some tending to. I realized I had to take a step back and take a good look at what I was doing, where I was going and where I wanted to go. Now, before you all start to create scenario’s in your head to spill at the watercooler, let me make things clear. No one is ill. No one is leaving anyone. No one has been arrested. I came to realize that the powers that be that directed me onto this road after the closure of the shop had given me a gift. That gift being time.

I used to have time. I used to make time. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5. Back then I would make time for me. I would make time for chats with my hubby, walks, coffee with friends, well, for life, plain and simple. I would make time for me so I could enjoy the time with my daughter, so I could enjoy the multitude of questions posed by a toddler – 100 before 7:00a.m. ( I counted one day – hey it was educational…I taught my daughter to count to 100 didn’t I?). Over the past weeks, I realized that I hadn’t made time since my daughter crossed the threshold into her kindergarten class. I went right back to work, full force. Always moving on to the next thing, finding the next idea. Over coming financial struggles, dealing with plant closures and lay offs, taking any amount of hours given so we could keep our home. Those days are long gone, but the memory of them still reside. I had put myself in survivor mode and forgotten to change the record. I had become so focused on working and keeping my house, paying off debts and having money in the bank that I hadn’t realized that I still had my house, the majority of the debt is paid off and there is money in the bank.

I realized something last week. I am always telling the women I know to make time for themselves. I thought I was. It wasn’t until last night as I was painting my nails that I realized this was the first time in along time I was painting my nails, for me. Not for an Instagram shot, not for work. For me. On the weekend, I was having a really good hair day, so I took a selfie. For me. Yes, I put it on Instagram, but I put it up there for me. If no one had liked it, I would have been fine with it. People liking it was a perk. I did it for me. I have adored photo’s since I was a child. I could and can sit and look at photo’s for hours. I wanted that picture because whenever I look at it, I remember how I felt and remembering happiness is a good thing.

The moral of today’s tale? If you are going to share your moments, your opinions, your snaps and your chats, make them worth remembering, for you. Create moments worth sharing. Do not create moments just so you can share them. Plain and simple.

beauty, Business, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat

The Key to Damage Repair

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At one time or another, we have been there. Standing in the bathroom, looking down at our hairbrush, then slowly moving forward to face our reflection in the mirror as we wince at the state of our hair. We see little hairs popping out of our head, our ends are starting to resemble the shag bathmat that we stand upon. In our minds eye we start to wonder if we could pull off a pixie cut.

At some point or another, we have all damaged our hair. Too many late night flat ironing sessions. One too many back to back color processes. Thinking an at home perm was a great idea. Whichever the culprit, there is a remedy for what ails your beloved tresses. Let me introduce you to Saryna Key’s Damage Repair Pure African Shea Oil.

SarynaKey Damage Repair Oil Just one of the wonders from the Damage Repair line.

Saryna Key’s Damage Repair oil contains the largest concentration of Shea Butter – a natural source of keratin, that works to bring damaged hair back to life. Any type of damaged hair, chemically damaged (over processed) and damage caused by thermal styling tools will begin to look and feel healthier and softer after the first application. This gem also contains vitamins and amino acids that penetrate into the hair’s cuticle, from root to end, restoring and nourishing the hair.

It’s fast absorbing, lightweight formula means that it can be applied to the finest of strands to the thickest of tresses;

  • Can be applied to clean, damp hair before styling products and blowdrying. *Usually 1-3 pumps will suffice.
  • Can be applied to dry hair, after styling to eliminate the look of split ends and/or flyaways. *I suggest 1 pump, emulsify in your hands, light spread at the root to eliminate pesky flyaways, then work your way down your hair to the ends for a smooth, soft and shiny finished look.

Saryna Key offers a complete Damage Repair line, from Shampoo to weekly treatment. I have personally used this line and let me tell you, coming from a not so natural blonde, it is a life saver, or hair saver for that matter. Saryna Key’s products are paraben free, phosphate free and sulfate free. It is a cruelty free line = they do not hurt little bunnies and their bottles are 100% recyclable.

Damaged hair repaired. No animal testing. Saving the planet. Smiling and flipping your hair at every mirror you come across…what more could a girl ask for?

 

beauty, Business, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat

VIP…Venus style

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When you think of Monday, you picture people trying to come up with an excuse to stay nestled under the covers, laying in their beds mourning the loss of their weekend, or trying to convince themselves their early morning sneeze is the beginning of the flu and they should call in sick to work. This past Monday, yours truly was up before the first chirp of the neighbourhood birds, raring to go. Why you ask? Well, I had somewhere to be. By 8 a.m. I was on the highway, headed to Niagara Falls to the Venus Beauty Supplies VIP Event, or #VENUSVIP16 for my social media peeps.

Held at the Sheraton On The Falls Avenue Resort ( a lovely venue for those looking for the right place for an event), Venus put on quite a show. The main stage was rockin’ with appearances from Schwarzkopf, Peter Coppola, COLORWOW, Revlon, Unite, Moroccanoil, Reuzel …just to name a few. New color applications and cutting techniques were showcased as well as new product launches. When you entered the adjoining room, you were met by brand managers from each line to answer any questions you may have or to point you in the right direction of which product was which, and which product would suit your client’s needs best. Everyone was very welcoming, enthusiastic and you could feel the pride that they had in their brands, and in themselves as representatives of their products. Here’s a little peek of what my Monday looked like;

  The newest addition to the Schwarzkopf family – FIBREPLEX! Their FIRST Bond Enforcing System to protect the hair from breakage during lightening, high lifting or coloring process.

The FAB! stylists representing Peter Coppola. PSSST…The Infusion AntiFrizz Cream is outstanding and can be used on the finest of strands to the thickest of tresses!

 The dapper Gents of FRAMAR. Some of the best hair coloring tools and accessories around….OH! I have to tell you, I can’t believe I haven’t already…KOLOR KILLER Wipes – you gotta get ’em. These babies remove any color that may have stained the skin in a flash! They smell great and are safe to use on sensitive skin. How do I know? Well, all other color removers leave me in a red, blotchy mess. The KOLOR KILLER Wipes do not have any effect on my skin, except the removal of a color stain. Get some for your Salon. Seriously, get them now.

 REUZEL. A Fabulous line created for Barber’s and the Gents in their chair. Their story is a great one, that I cannot do justice. Check them out at http://www.reuzelpomade.com

 Can you say SWAG!!!! Venus Beauty Supplies DELIVERED!

 The FAB! Patricia, my Venus Rep. and I. Calling her a rep. doesn’t do her justice. She is awesome.

Yes, today’s tale was short and sweet, like yours truly. I gotta go. As you can see from my FAB! SWAG bag, I got a lot of products to test and try, to let you all know what’s what! Stay tuned Beauties and thanks for the love!

 

 

 

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

…you’ll figure it out

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September. Although the calendar marks January as the beginning of a new year, many feel September is the beginning of all things new. The kids are back in school, commencements are commencing, the care free schedule of summer has come to an end and the more regimented schedules of work, home and life have returned. This September truly feels like a beginning for yours truly. For those of you familiar with my blog (thank you again for all your lovely support), you are well aware of the closure of the shop. Many were and are still worried about what will happen, about what I will do now. When asked “What will you do now?”, thanks to the above quote by the FAB! Tina Fey, my answer is now “I will say yes and will figure it out afterwards.”. …and I have begun to do just that, and I gotta tell you…it’s been pretty fabulous.

Many changes have occurred, my tag line being one of them. Since I am no longer at the Salon, I have decided to change my tag line from “Mane Tales from the Salon” to “Bringing Enlightenment to the world of Beauty”, for my primary focus has always been about beauty. I write about hair products, hair product reviews, retailing tips, tips on how to be kind, tips on how not to be an ass, or about life in general, all in the hopes of helping someone. Be it with their hair, their business or their self image and self worth. Sharing my experiences may help someone feels better about themselves, begin to like their reflection, feel capable of achieving the hair style they have always wanted, be able to improve their retail revenue and in turn their business, or simply remind someone that they are not alone. If that is not a thing of beauty, I do not know what is.

Over the past weeks, I  have taken a break. A much needed rest for my mind. It was as if the universe, the powers that be, the smurfs – take your pick knew I needed a reset and gave me one. The closure of the shop was a gift, it really was. I had no excuse not to slow down for a moment or two and figure out what needed figuring. The guilt about leaving someone else at the helm, feeling selfish taking time off, that aching feeling that I was forgetting something, all those thoughts and feelings were no where to be found. For months I knew it was time to move forward, but I didn’t want to let anyone down, or leave anyone in the lurch. Thanks to the closure of the shop, I no longer had those feelings, those worries or those concerns. Well, quite honestly, those fears. … which got me thinking. How many of us, in our work life or home life, put these unneeded fears in our way? Worrying about what people will think? What will people say? What will happen? What will I do?

Don’t get me wrong. I still battle those shouts of fear, for I am embarking on the known yet unknown. I know my capabilities. I know I am good at what I do. I know I have much to offer. I know what the next step is to take and I know where that step is. What I don’t know is what comes next – that in itself is the fear talking. So when I hear the fear shouting “Uh Oh! Oh, I don’t know”, I listen for the faint whisper of “Say yes and figure it our afterwards”. It’s always there. Always.

 

 

 

 

beauty, Business, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Women

A little retail therapy

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When you hear the phrase “retail therapy” the most common picture that comes to mind is a woman or a group of women strolling down the street with many a bag in hand from their favorite shops and boutiques…or Wilma and Betty shouting “Charge it” as they run into the mall. Yes, retail therapy can brighten the darkest of days for us. It can also brighten the darkest of days in the Salon as well. Understanding the importance and the impact of retail sales in the Salon can seem overwhelming for many stylists, Salon Managers and Salon Owners…until now.

 

I have written many Salon Tales covering retail. Today, I am sharing some links for you to make it that much easier to see just how simple adding retail to your Salon’s revenue can be.

salon_mag_logo   A few articles by yours truly featured on http://www.salonmagazine.ca ;

http://salonmagazine.ca/en/news/1146-why-fear-holds-back-the-best-stylists.html

http://salonmagazine.ca/en/news/1282-3-salon-fails-sales-rep-sees-don-t-tell-you-about.html

http://salonmagazine.ca/en/business-retailing/2122-salon-holiday-retailing-tips.html

 

Piidea Buyers Guide ….and my most popular blog on retail to date, featured in the Piidea Buyer’s Guide;

If you are a stylist…you are a sales person

Retailing product in your Salon is a win/win. Your clients will be able to protect their investment in themselves, will be able to achieve their new style in between Salon visits, your client retention and your Salon revenue will increase. Plain and Simple.

 

 

beauty, Business, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Women

…a splash of color

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“I love your hair!”. A statement I hear daily…and I gotta admit, I love it. “I wish I could do that with my hair.” is usually the follow up to the compliment. So many women admire my swoops of magenta, yet are fearful;

– of what people would say

– adding vibrant color wouldn’t suit them

– that once they colored their hair they would regret their color choice.

Well ladies, do I have news for you! Thanks to the Beauties at Joico, you too can have vibrant color with or without the commitment! Let me introduce you to Joico Instatint and Joico Vero Kpak Color Intensity!

Joico Instatint / Verocolor Perfect trial size cans and bottles!

For those of you who are a little more adventurous, Joico Vero Kpak Color Intensity is a semi permanent color option and is easy to use and easy to apply. No peroxide/developer needed! Apply to dry hair, leave on for 20 -30 minutes and VOILA! Vibrant color! (For our dark hair beauties, pre lightening may be needed, depending on how vibrant you want the color to be). Always use a color shampoo to retain the vibrancy of the color. I personally adore the Joico Kpak Color Therapy line, nourishes and repairs while keeping my color bright. Your new found color lasts for up to 30 washes.

For those who are a tad nervous about trying something new, you will love the latest addition to the Joico family. Instatint is a temporary aerosol color spray, that lasts until you shampoo it out. Apply to dry hair and VOILA! instant color without the commitment. The colors are vibrant enough for all hair colors, from blonde to the darkest of brunette. Spray lightly for a pastel effect, the more you spray, the darker the effect. *I suggest covering your shoulders while applying the color, to protect your clothes. No need to fear the storm clouds in the forecast – the color will not run if you find yourself caught in the rain. *That Girl in the Red Coat tip – do not apply heat to your hair once Instatint is applied – there may be a chance of staining your tresses. Use your curling iron or flat iron before applying Instatint.

So there you have it. Now you too can add a splash of color! No fear, no commitment. Only FAB! hair that turns heads…like yours truly.

beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

…from the inside out

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“Trade expectation for appreciation” – Tony Robbins.

It was Sunday morning. I was sitting on the couch, staring out my window while mindlessly flipping through the channels, pondering my circumstances, when I heard the above quote. I turned away from my window to see Tony Robbins speaking with Oprah, on Super Soul Sunday. This wasn’t the first time Mr. Robbins appeared in my living room. About a month ago, whenever I was on Facebook or twitter it seemed someone was posting about his Netflix documentary “I am not your guru”. So, being me, I had to see what all the hype was about. I grabbed my water and a snack, got comfy on the couch and turned on Netflix. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical. Being 44, I was familiar with Tony Robbins and his motivational workshops and books. I had given them a try in the past, however nothing ever seemed to resonate in me. I would get a spark, but the fire never stayed lit. Until now. There I was, sitting up, leaning towards the television with tears running down my cheek. Did I happen to mention I was 10 minutes in? Maybe it is my age. Maybe it is where I am in my life. Maybe it is because I am more open than I used to be. Whatever the reason, it was beautiful. It was powerful, magical even. It has been 4 weeks since I have watched it, and I think about it at least once a day. It was the first time I felt I actually saw the real Tony Robbins. No bullshit. No politically correct rhetoric. It was the most refreshing moment I had seen and heard in a long while, and it was exactly what the Dr. ordered.

 

For those who follow my blog, you know that the shop/Salon I manage is closing at the end of the month. The past few weeks have been trying to say the least. Every customer that comes through the door has the same questions “You’re closing?”, “This is so unfair! What am I going to do?”, “Where will I get my product now?”, “What are you going to do now?”, “Guess you are shit out of luck with no job huh?” and countless other negative comments and inquiries. After 3 weeks of repeating myself, smiling, being courteous, I have to admit, their opinions and statements were beginning to sink in and were setting up shop in my mind. I was starting to expect the worst, which is not my style.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Just as yours truly was allowing the “what if’s” to make their way into my mind and allowing fear to control what I expected my plans to turn out like, what do I hear at the exact moment I was getting all stressed about my expectations but Mr. Robbins himself stating “trade expectation for appreciation.”. …okay there universe…I get it. I feel the nudge. So, that is exactly what I did. Yes, it was weird at first. Yes, I had to really concentrate on appreciating. Yes, I felt a little foolish. Then I realized it felt weird and foolish because I was thinking of what others would say or think instead of thinking of what I think and what I want to say. Then I remembered a quote I came across months ago “I used to care about people’s opinions until I tried to pay my bills with them”, enough said.

What is happening in your life does not define you. It only defines you if you let it. Plain and Simple.