Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Fool on the hill

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I woke up this morning with “The Fool on the Hill” by the Beatles in my head – so clearly that I actually checked my clock radio to see if it was on. (Yes, I still have a clock radio. It was my grandfather’s. He got it free with his “Maclean’s” subscription and when I saw it I thought it was pretty cool, so he gave it to me and it has been at my bedside for 25 years). Needless to say, the radio was off. I got up, made some coffee and the song still played in my head.

It got me to thinking about the past few weeks of my life, and the lives of those I love and cherish. You see, for me, most of my life is pretty awesome. I have been a  guest blogger on http://www.salonmagazine.com . I have been invited to blog on another website – which one you ask? Well for that one you are gonna have to wait – it’s a surprise! I have a 16 year old daughter who still wants to be seen in public with me ( A HUGE deal if you ask me.) and I have the love of a great man, who has loved me for over 20 years. My lovely hubby is why I said “most” of my life is pretty awesome. You see, his health has not been the greatest as of late, by no fault of his own. Those familiar with my blog know that my love had a heart attack back in 2011. His heart is well on the mend, alas the medication to keep his heart healthy is not so nice to the rest of his body.The kick in the ass is everyday he feels different, he doesn’t know until he gets out of bed what the day will hold for him. Some of the medication makes his skin super sensitive to touch, some of the medication causes acid reflux and chest pressure – the latter is a another  kick in the ass since chest pressure is how his heart attack felt. – AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL SEGUE! – not all heart attacks present with a pain shooting down your left arm and a red face followed with a collapse to the floor. If you are not feeling well, pain or pressure in your chest area/upper back that won’t subside, pain that goes up your neck into your jaw – go to the hospital. As the Doctor’s say to us – they would rather everyone come and it be nothing then wait too long and nothing can be done. Back to the tale at hand.

So, I looked up the lyrics to the fool on the hill, and as with any piece of music or literature everyone seems to have their own vision of what the song means, myself included. You see, I am an optimist. I can’t help myself. I always seem to find something good in something bad, it’s what I do. Many times because of this I find I am ignored or not listened to, and that is okay. It used to hurt my feelings, now I realize that it is either because I over stepped my bounds (which I know I tend to do) or that the person I am speaking to is not ready to be happy or ready to have hope – I have found that giving over to hope and happiness is one of the scariest things for people to do – it sure as hell was for me. So the lyrics, “but nobody ever hears him, or the sound he appears to make, and he never seems to notice, but the fool on the hill, sees the sun going down. and the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round” comfort me. They do. I saw myself in the lyrics – the woman who always sees the bright side of life and is seen as a fool on the hill.

I also found a new perspective about my hubby. You see, he looks fine but feels like shit most of the time. As with any health issue, when the person looks fine people don’t always believe you when you say you are not well, so you begin to feel like “fool on the hill” and begin to doubt yourself and how you are feeling. Another great compliment is when people doubt that he is taking his medication properly, or accuse him of not taking care of himself properly. This used to make me mad, but after watching a few episodes of Honey Boo Boo and some other so called reality T.V. shows, I now understand why some people are, well, assholes where the health of my beloved is concerned. (if you have seen the above – no explanation needed).

Here’s the deal. In the immortal words of Bob Dylan “don’t criticize what you can’t understand”. Everyone is going through something, or has a loved one on their mind. Sometimes it shows, most often it does not. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing at all. Be careful not to judge too severely, for one day you may be the fool on the hill…and I will be more than happy to sit with you.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

I’m gonna change your life

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I am a huge fan of Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in cars getting coffee. Google it then watch every episode. You will not regret it. Season two has begun and while watching the episode with Sarah Silverman, something she said has resonated in me and I gotta share it with you. “I’m going to change your life forever”. Something that is said to someone who just doesn’t realize how they look or sound. ( if you want to know more about who she was talking about it, you are going to have to watch the episode, don’t want to spoil it.)

Everyday I see or hear women hating their hair and they don’t realize that they can change that.  I also tend to see or hear the most idiotic or asinine behavior and/or comments and you know what? Most of these people don’t realize how they look or how they sound. I say most because unfortunately there are some shallow end of the gene pool swimmers out there that know exactly what they are saying and doing – but there is no changing them and that is a tale for another time.

A woman came into the shop to thank me for introducing her to Joico Kpak Revitaluxe. Her hair had never felt so great. We started a little chat about hair and our past hair woes and then she told me how she didn’t like the cut she had gotten the past three times with her stylist. I asked her if she let the stylist know, because if you don’t tell the stylist you don’t like your cut, you are going to keep getting the same cut, because she thinks you like it. “Oh, I can’t do that. It would be rude and maybe she would get offended.”. – I hear this phrase at least 10 times a week. Ladies and gents, once and for all, if you don’t like your hair style or the outcome of your hair color – tell your stylist, in a polite manner. Don’t go and throw the flat iron and a temper tantrum shrieking “I can never go out in public again!” – behave yourself and be a grown up and let them know you aren’t happy with the service and see if there is anything that can be done. Back to the tale at hand. I asked my customer “If you order a steak well done and it is rare – would you eat it and say nothing, or would you ask for it to be done the way you ordered it?”. To which she answered “I would ask for it to be done the way I ordered it”. This is when it happened. I looked her straight in the eye, smiled and said, “I am about to change your life. From now on if you are not happy with your cut, tell your stylist. It isn’t fair to her because she thinks you are happy when you are not. It isn’t fair to you because every time you look in the mirror you are unhappy. This is a win win for you – either she will listen to you and you will get the cut you want, or she won’t listen and you will know it is time to find a new stylist.”. It was quiet for a moment, I was hoping I had not overstepped my bounds (I kinda do that sometimes). She looked at me, blinked and said “You are right. I never thought of it like that before.” I gave her our Salon price list and let her know that she is more than welcome to make an appointment for a complimentary consultation. We ended up talking for over 20 minutes, about our hair and about our lives. As she left she winked at me and thanked me “for changing her life”. We both laughed and I could hear her laughter as she walked out the door.

As I sat down to finish my paperwork I found myself smiling and saying quietly to myself “Thank you Sarah Silverman for changing my life”.

Beauty, Business, communication, entertainment, Hair Care, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Full Moon Monthly

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For those of you familiar with my blog, you are well aware of my “Tales of Truth” series. As I was going through my archives I realized most of my Tales of Truth moments went hand in hand with the arrival of the full moon. So gather ’round ladies and gents, boys and girls and welcome to the first of many installments of Full Moon Monthly, brought to you by none other than That girl in the red coat. (as stated before…these are based on ACTUAL events. I have witnesses)

I hear the chirp of the shop’s door. I smile and greet the customer “Good Morning!”. She  looks around and says “Are you talking to me?”. I let her know, yes, I am talking to her. She stares. So I ask “Can I help you find something?”. “Yes, I am looking for a Shampoo that I can buy where I live, I don’t always want to drive into town.”. So I ask her where does she live and she tells me “I don’t tell people my personal information.”. …wait for it….there you go.

A woman came into the shop looking for the mousse her stylist just used. I asked her if she remembered the name of the product. She told me “No! Why would I remember the name of a product that I thought was horrible and smelled bad.”. So I asked her if she wanted me to show her some other mousses she may like and she said “No, I want the one my stylist used, if I go to her smelling like another product I might hurt her feelings.”.

There I was, innocently counting the nail polishes for an inventory count when a woman comes into the shop. “Hello” I say, to which she responds “I used to use these polishes until my niece quit beauty school and got ’em cheap for me. She is useless and spoiled rotten.”. …okay then. So I ask her “Can I help you find something?” to which she says “Yeah, tell me what will help me with my hair, since my husband left me 20 years ago and it gave me the cancer of the Uterus and the lying Doctor’s told me that my ovaries would keep the menopause away my hair just ain’t the same.”. As I went to show her some products she looked at me and said “I don’t have time for this, I gotta go catch the bus.Thanks for the lovely chat and I will be back!”. – cue Twilight Zone theme

From time to time, we are out of stock of a product, sometimes because of back orders, sometimes because the product is an awesome product and sells well. I know empty spots on the shelves are a no no, but they happen. I was told by a customer, three times in a row that it was pathetic that her product wasn’t there. (well, in the size of bottle she preferred). I explained about the back orders ( the distributor moved warehouses hence back orders for a few weeks). I offered to call her as soon as the product came in. She asked if I knew when the product would arrive. I explained that I didn’t know, that the warehouse would send them as soon as they get them, to which she again said “pathetic”. I told her I was just as frustrated as her, that I didn’t have the product for my clients and customers, but that it wasn’t pathetic.(I know – let sleeping dogs lie…I don’t always follow my own advice). As I rang through her purchase, I let her know our debit connection was slow, to which she smirked and said “I was going to say something but I won’t”. So, me being me, I asked her what it was she wanted to say. “I was going to say “you are used to waiting for things but that would be pathetic…or maybe you would be pathetic about it.”. Well played…gotta give her that…it’s all she’s got.

A customer asks “What shampoo smells the best?”. I let her know she is welcome to open up the bottles and smell them, because what I like she may not. “Pfft…you are a lazy sales person aren’t ya?”. Okay…here we go. I smile, tell her to follow me and show her our best seller, open up the lid and she smells it and exclaims “Why did you show me that?!? It stinks. Show me something I will like the smell of.”. As politely as possible I explained I don’t have the same sense of smell as her and maybe it would be best if she took a moment to smell some of the shampoo’s. She looks at me and says “Okay, why didn’t you say that it the first place?”. …sigh.

“Have you found Jesus?” – something I am asked quite often. One of these believers in urgent need of saving my soul left me a coin with a “version” of the Ten Commandments on it. The coin worried me a little…it was silver. I think she had five more.   ….wait for it….there you go.

A woman comes in the store, sees me and says “HEY! Haven’t seen you in forever!”. I look at her and don’t recognize her. “I’m sorry, have we met?” I say. “Come on! You know me! Come on! Come on! Come On! You remember!”. I stand there, cannot place her face for the life of me. “Come on! You know me! I know you Susie!”. I let her know I am Sara. “Well you look like Susie! Come on! You know you do!”.

I am starting to think that people are coming into the shop in hope that I will write about them.  For the love of god, I hope so.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hospital gowns and customer service

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Today’s tale is about customer service. It is also about taking a moment and paying attention. It is about being kind. Life is hard enough, why add more road blocks?

Picture this…You are at the hospital. You are waiting to have a routine upper G.I. procedure. A nurse and a nursing student come to get you to get your I.V. started to prep you for the procedure. You are fine with a student being present (would have been nice if you were asked if you were comfortable with it).You are a little nervous since the last time you were at the hospital you had a heart attack and the pain you have been having for the last 9 months feels just like your heart attack did. The nurse looks at your hand and tells you your veins are horrible ( uh…yeah…you have been fasting over 12 hours), then puts the I.V. in (first try…bad veins…uh huh) and blood goes everywhere. She begins to ridicule you “why didn’t you tell me about your heart meds?” (all the info. was on the chart she initialed right before she began your  I.V.), then proceeds to ask if you took all your heart meds that day and you tell her no and she asks you why with a tone courtesy of Nurse Ratched and you find yourself looking for Jack Nicholson. You politely point out that on the form she just initialed that you take two doses a day of certain medications, one in the evening, one in the morning. She asks if you had a stent put in. You tell her no. She doesn’t believe you, because everyone gets a stent. (unless the artery was too small to fit a stent – hence the cause of the heart attack). Then she looks at your hand as she is wiping away the blood and see’s a mole that you have had all your life. “You better get that looked at…doesn’t look good…”. Then you are told you can go back to your seat and wait. So, you began your day thinking you just have a little tummy trouble or acid reflux and now you think you are stupid, have terrible circulation and bad veins and probably have skin cancer. The patient was my husband and Florence Nightinggale just turned over in her grave.

Yes, my husband was a patient, not a customer, but the lack of service he received was embarrassing. If I acted that way with my customers or the Salon’s clients, I would be out of a job. We are given two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen twice as much as we speak.

When I have a customer come into the shop with a questionable scalp condition, I don’t look at them and say “Your scalp is horrible. Looks cancerous. Better get that checked!”, or run and get my stylists to come out and gawk. Wanna know why? One – that’s rude. Two – I am not a skin specialist. Trust me, be it a health issue or a scalp condition, people know what they are going through, they know what they have, they do not need to have it pointed out to them or shoved down their throat. What I do is this;

– I ask if they mind if I ask a few personal questions

– if the answer is no – I ask about the products they are currently using, if this happens only when the seasons change, if they are on any medications ( some medications affect hair/skin/nails), or if this is something they have always dealt with.

– if I need to get one of my stylists to take a look, I ask their permission first.

– I never blame them. I never make them feel like I don’t believe a word they are saying. Sometimes you don’t get the right answer because you didn’t ask the right question.

– I sell them the product that may help with the issue. The Nioxin line has helped many people with mild scalp irritations, Joico’s Daily Care Treatment Shampoo is quite nice, and Smart Solutions Problem Hair and Scalp Shampoo is terrific. I tell them to give it a week or two, explain how to use the product, and tell them if it doesn’t seem to helping, maybe give the Doc. a call.

If you are a Stylist, Doctor, Nurse, Teacher be kind. Pay attention. If you make a mistake, admit it, apologize. Read something wrong? Don’t blame the other person, admit it, apologize. Don’t know about something? Don’t belittle the other person and treat them like they are the stupid one, admit that you don’t know and get yourself informed. (pssst…there are these things that are big and rectangular in shape called encyclopedia’s and dictionary’s – or Google for our techies).

Be kind. Treat others as you want to be treated. Plain and simple.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Sunday Confession

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Today’s tale is for the young ladies and the mother’s out there. Today’s tale is also a personal one. It is a confession of sorts. I am not in a church, I am not catholic, not a priest’s profile through a screen to be seen (I think it’s a screen, like I said, I am not catholic.).

As you know, I am  a manager of a Salon/Retail shop. Want to know something funny about that? For most of my life I thought I was ugly. Yep, my career and passion is in the beauty biz and I used to be the girl who thought I was too ugly to get my picture taken, thought I was too ugly to go to my neighborhood’s block party when I was 14, I thought I was too fat to go to the clubs with my girlfriends – something only I knew. I did everything in my power to hide this fact from everyone. I look back at the pictures I allowed myself to be in and I want to give myself a shake. I was pretty. I was not fat. I actually had a nice ass, not a fat ass like a lovely girl pointed out in grade 10.

Everyday, yes, I am sad to say, I hear young girls say the most horrible things about themselves, or worse, I hear the mother of the young girl say horrible things about her daughter, in front of her daughter.  I am not an expert by any means, I am a woman who wasted many years and missed out on many things all over my lack of self esteem and because I listened to the wrong people and didn’t listen to myself. I wanted to share this tale in hope that a  young girl will read it and realize how awesome she really is. I am a mother of a 16 year old daughter and I hear and see what she goes through, and what her lovely friends go through, so, being me I have compiled a list, a go to list if you will, for those days that are just too much.

– when you get a pixie cut, some people are going to tell you that you look like a boy. You don’t. You look awesome, they just don’t have the guts to be themselves and try something new.

– your oily scalp will go away. It’s hormonal. To help get through this unfortunate phase, a dry shampoo like Joico’s Instant Refresh, Quantum’s Refresher or KMS HAIR PLAY Make Over Spray is an awesome tool to have on hand. Just spray it on your scalp, rub it in and VOILA! Not a oily strand to be seen.

– people who tell you that you are fat are just being assholes. Plain and simple.

– if you are 15 or 40, I am sorry to say, there will always be someone out there that will say something nasty, especially when you are happy. It’s not personal, you just happened to be the nearest target for them to spew their venom at. Trust me, they would yell at Jesus Christ  himself that he wasn’t making the water into wine fast enough.

– if you want to try being a blonde for a while, go for it – AT THE SALON. Do not attempt to do this on your own – it is not nice and easy. It’s not.

– before you judge your mother too harshly, take a look at her relationship with her mother. Sometimes mother’s just don’t know any better. You can’t change it, you can only change how you decide to let it affect you.

– your mom was just as insecure as you are right now. She may still be as insecure as you. To all the mother’s out there, the jig is up. We can’t guide our daughter’s if we are lost ourselves.

– when a friend is being nasty, take a breath and think, will this person be in my life 6 months from now? If the answer is yes, be patient and try to find out what the problem is. If the answer is no, Adios amigo.

– if you are dating a boy who says nasty things to you – DUMP HIM! You can’t fix him.

– your BFF is wonderful, she is also the same age as you, so she can’t help you as much as a counselor or a doctor if you are dealing with an abusive situation at home or have questions about sex. *by the way – jumping up and down after sex will not keep you from getting pregnant. – Yep…2013 and people are still saying that.

– everyone feels the same way you do. EVERYONE. From the head cheerleader to the tuba player in the school band. Some of them just hide it better.

– although it may feel like it, not everyone is looking at you. Sorry to break the news to you, sometimes it isn’t all about you. I know right?! This revelation was a shocker for me too.

– when someone has hurt your feelings, try not to let it control your life. More times than not, they don’t even realize nor care that your feelings are hurt. They are going on with their day without giving you or their words a second thought. Don’t let them live rent free in your head.

It is okay to be yourself. It may get a little scary. You may find certain people distancing themselves from you, and that is okay. They are making room for all the awesome people trying to get into your life, to raise you up, help you see your beauty, to help you be yourself, to help you be happy.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Raising the bar?

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When I was a child, I was the kid who would fight the bully. Not for myself, for my friend, or for the kid being punched, kicked, tripped, be given a wedgie or shoved into a locker. Boy or girl, if you were the bully, sooner or later, we would go toe to toe. Whenever I saw someone being bullied I would get fired up and want to stop it.

Everyday, I am sad to say, I see at least one woman being ugly. Ugly to herself, her child, her stylist or to me. Gossiping about the woman who just left, pointing at her daughter’s oily scalp, teasing her 15 year old son that he must be a girl under all that muscle because he likes his favorite hair gel, or pointing at my (faded) thyroidectomy scar and saying “don’t you want to cover that with a necklace or something?”. It’s time like these that, for a split second, in my minds eye, I am back in the school yard and am about to go toe to toe with the bully.

A few days ago, I read something I found to be pretty ugly.(I try to stay off of the soapbox but couldn’t shake this one.). A well known website with a huge following, aimed at women, empowering women and giving them a voice and a forum, tweeted how they were “going to ask someone to work with them, until they read their Twitter stream.”. You see, they didn’t agree with the opinions/expletives expressed on this person’s Twitter stream. Before you get all “freedom of speech” and “everyone is entitled to their opinion”, calm the hell down and let me explain. For a site that stands for empowering women – how is gossiping empowering? Yes, gossiping. Yeah, I said it.

Think about it, how is tweeting “was gonna choose someone until I read their twitter stream” any different than telling everyone but your stylist that you hate your new color? There is no difference. If you have a problem/issue with someone, speak to them directly. I would not have agreed, but I could have respected them if they had named said “offender”. How many women read that tweet and began to doubt themselves? How many women read that tweet and thought they needed to edit themselves to be accepted into the inner circle of this website that is for women and mothers? How the hell is that empowering? As women, we need to raise each other up, not push each other down. Generations of women fought for our equality, fought for us to have a voice, fought for us to have more options than housewife or secretary, fought for equality in the workplace, fought against the stigma that all women do is gossip and pick apart other women. Heading a company/website/twitter feed that is aimed at empowering women, you need to show some professionalism, and the above was anything but. If the aim was to help women watch what they tweet about and how they handle their twitter feed, they missed the mark. All it did was remind us of the high school cafeteria, being asked to sit at the cool kids table, only to have someone pull the chair out from under us.

I am 100% for free speech. I believe everyone is entitled to an opinion. I am a firm believer in being yourself, saying what you want and allowing others to say what they want. I do not think I need to agree with everyone nor like everyone, nor do they have to agree with me or like me. What I am for is kindness. Plain and simple.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

What road are you taking?

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Been sitting here staring at the screen, then I begin to type, then I hit delete, then stare at the screen once again. This is what happens to me when I am holding back. When I worry about other’s opinions of what I am about to write. As I was hitting delete for the twentieth time, I had one of my LIGHTBULB! moments.

This is what woman do in the Salon, everyday. We show them the color swatch book, they gaze adoringly at the red hair swatch, they say “Lets do it!”, then they look around at the other women in the Salon and with a shaking hand and voice to match they say “Ummm, ahh, maybe I should take a look again”. We hand the color swatch book back to them, they flip back to the browns, sigh, and then say “better stick to the usual…what would people think?”.

If you are familiar with my blog, you know I am a firm believer of being your own person, doing what you want and the hell with what others think. Yeah, yeah, I know…I started off today’s tale worrying about the thoughts of others. Give a girl a break would ya? I am a work in progress…and see, I am writing about what I want. Now, back to the tale at hand.

As women (sometimes the gents, but mostly it’s the ladies), we worry far too much about other’s opinions of our hair to our child rearing. Everyday I meet a woman who has a hairstyle she didn’t want, thinks she is too fat to go to the gym, has a hair color she detests, or is buying a product that she hates the smell of. The reason? It’s always the same…fear of what people will think. Don’t get me wrong…no judgment here. I have been that woman, and from time to time I have to keep that old girl at bay. I have had haircuts that made me cry. Hell, forget the gym, at one point I thought I was too fat to walk around the block. I have had hair color that, lets just say, was not me. I have used products that reminded me of a skunk in heat. All because of fear of the opinion’s of others, or fear of upsetting the apple cart.

In the big scheme of life and all it’s mysteries I may not know much, but I know this. It isn’t all about you (hardest pill for yours truly to swallow) and all that matters is YOUR OPINION. Oh…and screw them. Yeah, I said it. Now I have the hair style I want, I no longer think I am too fat to walk around the block, hell, I don’t think I am fat at all. I LOVE my hair color…blonde with dark underneath (so when my  roots show it looks like it’s on purpose…smoke and mirrors my friends…smoke and mirrors) and all my hair products remind me of the beach and the spring. Oh, believe me, I am still told that I should change my hairstyle, usually by someone who hated their own hair. I am told that I could still stand to lose a few, usually by someone who is trying to be skinny for their spouse, instead of being healthy and fit and supporting her husband’s dietary restrictions like yours truly. I am told that my blonde looks fake…well duh…my roots are dark… and I am constantly being told there is something else I should be using for my hair, usually by a rep. trying to bring in a new line,(which is excusable…they are just trying to do their job.).

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a tough road. It’s also one hell of a high road most days, so high I need to strap on an oxygen mask, but it is the road I would choose over any other. It is the road to personal redemption, to happiness, to wanting to look in the mirror at your reflection and liking who is looking back at you, the woman with the rockin’ hairstyle and awesome color.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Go ahead…pull the other one

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We’ve all seen the commercials. We’ve all seen the ads. We’ve all gone out and bought it and hid it in a brown paper bag. We’ve all done it. I’m speaking of box color from the drugstore…what did you think I was talking about?

Here’s the deal. Box color happens. You know. I know it. You want to do your own color because it makes you feel like you have become kindred spirits with the Hollywood spokesperson by using that product, power to you. That being said – when you decide to have your hair colored with professional Salon color – don’t deny that you used the box color. Here are the reasons why;

– more often than not, a stylist can spot  a bottle job at 100 paces.

– don’t even get me started about arguing that the box said “professional quality”. If there wasn’t a Salon within two feet of you and a stylist was mixing the color – it ain’t professional.

– lying about using box color makes you sound like, well, a thirteen year old girl who is afraid of her mommy.

– no one is born with natural white blonde and orange streaks.

– Box color and Salon color don’t always mix. It is possible for a chemical reaction to take place and your hair can start to resemble Carrot Top or Kermit the Frog.

– in some cases, the hair can begin to break off. Yes, I said break off. I have seen it. It wasn’t pretty.

– last but not least, how could you do that to your kindred spirit? What kind of friend are you?

Why people choose to lie about using box color is beyond me and I don’t know why they try to lie to me about it. I had Mrs. Spencer, my grade two teacher believing we had two foster babies at our house and I was too busy helping my mother to be able to finish my spelling homework. I had that gig going for 3 weeks until the day my mother brought my spelling book to school because I forgot it at home. Long story short..the jig was up, the room spun a little and I had extra spelling homework for weeks. The point of sharing that tale…(pardon my french), you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. I know you used box color. You know you used box color. Admit it. Own it. Move on.

To be honest, it isn’t so much the color of your hair that gives away the fact you used box color, it is the look on your face when asked the question. The look in question is a mixture of a deer caught in the headlights mixed with a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. No matter the age or gender – the same look crosses the face of the person who is asked “Have you used box color on your hair?”. Jesus…it’s not like you were asked if you shoot heroine or if you knew all along where Bin Laden was. We just need to know what is on your hair so we can be sure you leave with the color you want. It’s really not that big of a deal. No judgement…well, not at my Salon.

* IMPORTANT TIP* if your stylist does not ask you if your color is professional Salon color or box color – get up and leave. Run! Think about it…a true professional and someone who takes pride in their work wants to be sure you receive the best color and service. You are their best advertising.

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Just leave it at the door

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I have been in the customer service gig for over twenty years, from being a waitress to a manager and everything in between. So believe me when I tell you, I know the frustration of working with the public. Hell, it’s not good genes that give me my full bottom lip…I got that baby from all the times I had to bite my lip to stop myself from saying what I was thinking about a customer’s behavior. From a temper tantrum over  OPI Lincoln Park after Dark being on back order to a mother mocking her teen daughter’s oily scalp to a flat iron being thrown at my head…I have heard,seen and felt it all. Quite honestly, it is getting a little old and tiresome. I have to leave it at the door, I think everyone should as well.

For those of you wondering what the hell I am talking about, let me explain. In the customer service circles, “Leave it at the door” means just that. Whatever personal issues you are having, be it a sick child, a boyfriend who gives the joystick more attention than you (pun definitely intended), or your undies are bunching up – leave them at the door and pick ’em back up at the end of your work day. In other words – to quote Melvin Udall “sell your crazy somewhere else…we’re all stocked up here”. (you know…Jack Nicholson… As good as it gets…sigh). Life gets in the way, all the time. Leave it at the door.

I understand, trust me, how difficult it can be to “leave it at the door”. In one week I had my husband and my father have a heart attack as my daughter was in the throws of beginning high school. Guess what?!? Still had to put on a happy face and be polite. Still had to do my job and help our customers and clients. First of all – that is what you call being a professional. Second, that is called being an adult. Third and most important, using my husband’s or father’s health as an excuse to act like an ass would make me, well, an ass.

What brought on this tale today you ask? Well, let me tell ya, I ran into someone who didn’t leave it at the door, and quite honestly, it pissed me off. There I was, in line at my local grocery store. I have been a cashier in my youth, so I know what a joy that job can be, so I always make a point of being nice. The elderly gentleman in front of me was buying a jug of water and was paying with change. Well, Goldilocks (she had blonde hair), sure didn’t appreciate that. I heard so many sighs I was waiting for a parental advisory to come across the scanner. After the gentleman finished his count, she reached for the receipt and stared me down. Alrighty then. I get up to the cash and say hello to which she barks without eye contact “Need a bag?!?”. Funny, she had no problem with eye contact a few seconds ago… . “No, I brought one thank you.” to which she grunted and began to pile my groceries, on top of said bag. So, I dug threw my bread and berries, got the bag and began to pack it myself. She finished ringing in my groceries, then stared at me. Wow! Eye contact restored. So, I looked at the monitor, saw my total and asked her “so the total is $41.40?” to which she quipped “Yeah.”. I give her my money, she gives me back my change, on the counter as my hand is open and out, and turns back to the next customer (god be with him). I wish her a good night and receive no response. This is when my 10 year old self popped up and I found myself saying “HEY! I said to have a good night.”. She turned, stared and stuttered out “have a good night”. “Thank you, see you again.” is what I left her with. Now, I admit, not one of my finest moments. Hopefully it made her realize she was being an ass and maybe, just maybe she would be nicer to her next customer. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow she will leave it at the door.

When it feels like life is kicking you in the crotch, why give it more of an excuse to get a few more blows in? If you are being miserable, you are gonna get misery given back to you. If you are being an ass, you are gonna get an asshole convention showing up all damn day. Just leave it at the door, and maybe, just maybe, on your way out the door at the end of the day, the wind will have blown it away.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Do no harm…but take no shit

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My title for today’s tale is a quote I came across a few weeks ago, and has become a little mantra of mine. As of late, I have been seeing and hearing many things that are ugly. I don’t mean the Pajama pant/Louis Vuitton ensembles at the local market (although the look is a little gag worthy). I am talking about how people are treating each other, talking to and about each other. People taking advantage of other’s concern, compassion and kindness. It pisses me off to no end.

As you all know, I manage a retail shop/salon, so I am privy to many a conversation. I see women say to another woman’s face “You look terrific!” and the minute she leaves the shop they turn and say to whomever is in their radar (usually lucky me) “wow…what happened there?”. “You forgot to take your meds?!” is what I want to desperately say. Alas, I strap on my oxygen mask, take the high road and answer with “I don’t know what you are talking about. I thought you said she looked terrific.”. – this usually stumps them, they stare at me for a minute and before they have a second to spew another ugly remark I wish them a great day, and move on to my tasks at hand, be it inventory, helping a customer or simply walking away – hence….do no harm, but take no shit.

One of the saddest events I have witnessed is watching someone be ignored. Their stories dismissed, like a flyer handed to you on the street, or worse, not even being an after thought. There is nothing more hurtful than when someone asks how your day was and as you begin to tell them, they stare off into space, or better yet, look at their phone and then look up at you and say “What?!”. (come on…we have all done it at least once…lets hope it was just once.).

There seems to be a HUGE misunderstanding out there, that to be kind means you must be a doormat. To be kind you must be all “a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down”. That to be kind you must smile and be polite and take anything that comes at you and put a Pollyanna spin on it. I am here to tell you that is not the case, nor should it ever be. As defined by the Oxford Dictionary… Kind – Gentle and considerate towards others. It is not defined –  allow yourself to be kicked in the crotch, take one for the team, allow yourself to be ignored or allow yourself to lower yourself so someone else won’t feel uncomfortable or jealous. Allowing someone to mistreat your kindness not only hurts you, it hurts them – not very gentle nor considerate. Before you begin to freak out about hurting them – let me explain. It hurts them because now they are resented and don’t even know it. Not too kind my friends…kinda makes you just like them. It isn’t pretty nor is it comfortable, but when someone is being an ass to you,and you see them as a vital part of your life six months down the road, ya gotta call them out on it…the ass throwing the flat iron, let her keep all that crazy to herself. Do no harm, but take no shit.