beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Family Ties

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For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I give credit where credit is due and am grateful for inspiration. From the Ladies & Gents I meet on a daily basis, to my dear ol’ Dad, to Tabatha Coffey to darling Grandmother Leah, who I miss dearly, everyday, to name a few. Today’s tale is to share another person of inspiration, a P.O.I. if you will. Let me introduce you to my Aunt Pat.

My Dad was adopted and had been on a search for his birth parents. In the 70’s public record was unheard of, so all records were sealed. No google. No internet. Zip. Every call my Dad made left all clues covered and every question unanswered. My Dad made one more call. The powers that be made sure this would be the last call he would need to make to uncover his past. The woman on the phone let my father know that she couldn’t tell my father the information on record, but she could let him know if the information he had collected was correct. Within  minutes my Dad’s history began to come to light and I had another Aunt, Uncle and cousins.

I first met my Aunt Pat when I was 7. My parents had invited Pat and her family to dinner at our house in Kitchener. Dinner was planned, the table was set and we waited. I remember my Aunt Pat when she came in the door. She seemed to float. She had such an easy breezy vibe about her, a pretty smile and her eyes sparkled. I liked her right away. I knew my Aunt Pat was a cool cat because I knocked her kid out and she still liked me. Yep. First time meeting my Dad’s long lost family and what does Sara do? Oh, she plays Frisbee with her new cousin, hits him square in the face with said Frisbee and he goes down like a sack of potatoes while the blood pours out of this lip. Did I mention that they had been at our house maybe all of 90 minutes? Over the years, there were dinners and visits to their cottage, rides on their boat, trivial pursuit show downs and throw downs and never a word mentioned of the Frisbee massacre of 1979. …told you she is a cool cat.

Fast forward to the summer yours truly was 19. I had just graduated high school and been dumped a month before prom. I was broken hearted, pissed off that I hadn’t broken up with the boy first and in an all around “what the F*#K! am I gonna do with my life” mood.  My parents had been invited to my Aunt Pat’s cottage and I was invited along. We took the boat over to the island the cottage was on…did I say cottage? Let me clear…it was an oasis. Once the boat docked, there was my Aunt Pat waiting on the dock with her killer smile, sparkling eyes and open arms. That weekend was just what the doctor ordered. Good food, rides on the boat – laying on the front of the boat with my Aunt Pat, sunning ourselves on the way to drink some beer on the local patio’s, long, restful naps, game nights and laughter. My Aunt Pat, like my Grandma Leah, had a way of making everything seem effortless and making everyone feel like they were the only person in the room.

A little fact about my Aunt Pat- she was a teacher. Now she is an actress. Yep. An actress. On stage and on screen. A little known fact about yours truly – I think of my Aunt Pat pursuing her dreams and making them come true when I am in unfamiliar territory and feeling the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. My Aunt Pat has always been my cheerleader and has followed my blog from the start. Her words of encouragement and her comments on my blog mean more to me than she will ever know. So today’s tale is dedicated to my Aunt Pat, her smile, her sparkling eyes, her awesomeness and her inspiration.

 

 

 

beauty, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, writing

Tales of Truth – The Holiday Editions

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The past few hours have been quite strange. I usually don’t post from the shop but today has been weird and all our staff is off today and I gotta tell somebody. I have checked my calendar and I know that the full moon is set to arrive on the 25th., so my question is this… are the stars misaligned? Is the universe in retrograde? Did I miss the Facebook status that this year we are to share our Christmas crazy along with our cookies? Was there a tweet daring people to get their crazy on? Is the owner attempting her own version of “Smile! You are on candid camera!”. I am hoping that these people have heard of my Salon Tales and their Tales of Truth and are trying to get me to write about them. If this is the case, guess what buttercup!?! Today is your lucky day. You are getting your 15 minutes of fame.

9:20 a.m. – the phone rings. My standard greeting is interrupted by a woman telling me “Yeah. I left my debit card there yesterday.”. I let her know that no debit cards were left behind at our shop. All I hear is silence, then “Are you sure? ‘cuz yours was the last place I was yesterday.”. I let her know I check the till and our lost & found every day and there wasn’t anything left behind all weekend. “So, you’re telling me you don’t have my card.”. I let her know that is correct, I do not have your card. “You’re sure you don’t have it”. I told her I was sure to which she muffled “uh huh” and hung up on me. …by the way, the shop opens at 9;30 a.m..

9:35 a.m. – I am in the back room when I hear the chirp of the shop’s door. As I walk through our Salon to get the front of the shop a woman says “Oh good! You’re here! Cut my hair would ya?”. I let her know that I am the manager and the Salon was closed this morning. “How can it be closed? You just walked through it!”.

9:42 a.m. – A woman called to let me know the curling iron she bought is no longer heating up. I asked her if she still had the box and the receipt, she told me yes. I let her know to bring in the box, the receipt and the curling iron and I can exchange her defective curling iron for a new one. The phone fell silent. I said “Hello?”. “Yeah, I’m still here. I have to say, I am disappointed that I have to pack this up just to bring it to you. You know what? I will bring it all and you can pack it up!”. So I told her I would gladly help her out to which she said “Well, aren’t you a smart ass!”…..fa la la la la, la la la la.

10:15 a.m. …almost 35 minutes have passed, a little reprieve for your truly. A woman came in looking for hair clippers for her husband. I showed her our selection and their differences. She asked me which one would fit comfortably in her husband’s hand. I let her know that I didn’t know to which she got upset asking me “Why won’t anyone tell me what will feel comfortable in my husband’s hands!!!”. I looked at her for a minute, thought to myself, what the hell and told her “We don’t have his hands.”. She looked at me and said “I know that! He has his hands. You have yours! What’s that got to do with anything?!?”. …sigh

10:35 a.m. – A woman couldn’t understand why she couldn’t “try out” our tweezers. All I could think and hope wasn’t showing on my face was first of all, they are sealed in their packaging and second, uh…yuck.

10:50 a.m. – We sell hair & nose hair trimmers. Some models come with a detachable blade so the trimmer can be used on your bikini line. I was asked if it could be used to trim “you know…the hair on your buttocks.”. … I wanted the thank the customer for not referring to it as “ass crack hair”, as some have eloquently put it in the past.

12:36 p.m. – a few hours have passed and all my customers have been pleasant. I start to let my guard down. The phone rings. My greeting is once again interrupted by “Yeah. I called earlier. You’re sure you don’t have my debit card?!?!”. I let the woman know I am the manager and that yes, I am sure that I don’t have her card. I haven’t seen it. I don’t know where it is. “I came into your shop right after I bought vitamins in the health food shop beside yours! You were the last shop I was in! I think you have it and won’t give it back!”. It was then I let her know that we do not have a health food store beside us. All I heard was CLICK.

1:35 p.m. – a man came in asking if we had any shampoo for men. I let him know that all the shampoo I sell is for men and women and that most men tend to like KMS or American Crew. He asked to see the American Crew so I showed him our selection. I let him know he was welcome to open the lids and smell the products. He asked me which ones would help him “catch the ladies”.

….I need more coffee.

That Girl in the Red Coat

 

beauty, Business, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – The Holiday Editions

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The retail Holiday season has officially begun. Tree’s are trimmed. Shelves are stocked. The all important Holiday hair appointment’s have been booked and confirmed. Holiday parties have been planned. Christmas carols are playing on every radio station (trust me, I checked). In my corner of the globe, even Mother Nature has joined in, and the snow has begun to fall. This year marks my 25th Holiday season in the retail/sales/customer service gig. Call it nostalgia, call it the Christmas Spirit, over the past couple of weeks, every so often, I found myself getting hopeful, even excited for the coming retail Holiday season. I found myself daydreaming  of the customers and I breaking out into joyous song and the Osmond’s entering stage right like in those variety shows in the 70’s. ….but as I know, and for those of you familiar with my Tales of Truth now know, it’s safe to say that the only thing entering stage right is a flying flat iron. …and that I should limit myself to only one Vodka & Tonic a night.

 

To be clear, I still love Christmas. I love the sights and sounds, decorating my tree and the memories each ornament stirs up. I love making my famous Sugar Cookies and delivering them to my friends and loved ones. The following events, and the events to come – of this I am sure, will not taint my Christmas Spirit….and a little help from my Smirnoff Santa. So, without further adieu, gather ’round Ladies and Gents, boys and girls. It’s time for That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth!

  • The phone rings. As I answer with my standard greeting I am interrupted by “YEAH! Whatever! Do you have my hairspray in yet?”. I ask which hairspray it was she was looking for to which I was told “Well, you’re no help at all!” and she hung up.
  • A woman came into the shop looking to purchase Joico VeroColor hair color. I let her know that it is not retailed or sold to the public. It is a hair color line that has to purchased by a licensed stylist at the wholesaler. “Well, my old hairdresser would get it for me and I need some more!”. I explained that I could not purchase it for her nor could I sell it to her for the exact reason mentioned above. She asked to speak to a manager and I let her know, “That’s me!”. She stared at me for a minute and on her way out of the shop she told me “If you were any good at your job, you would break a rule now and then!”. …sigh
  • We have monthly draws every month. As a woman was filling out her ballot, she quipped “You never pick me!”. I giggled and said, “I try to.”. She put the pen down like a judge ruling with his gavel, sighed at me and said “this isn’t funny. I am not impressed that you haven’t chosen my name, after all this time!”. I apologized and told her I would try harder. She said “You better!”, grabbed her Shaper Plus and stomped out the door. …I gotta get a camera to prove this really happens
  • It took me 10 minutes to explain to a customer that Shampoo for curly hair will not make their straight hair curly. “but the bottle says curl enhancing, so it will give me curls, right?”. I explained that it meant if you already have curls that it will help to enhance them and give someone with curly hair more control of their curls. She stared at me for a minute, kept hold of the bottle, pouted and said “Well, I think it’s unfair that they false advertise.”.
  • A woman was looking for a certain shade of OPI nail polish. I let her know it was a discontinued shade. As she laughed, I was told that “there is no way YOU could know that!”. I brought out my latest OPI product listing, walked over to her and told her “Lets look at this together and maybe you can find a shade similar to the one you were looking for.” to which she informed me “How am I supposed to know the color I want, I just heard the name of the polish and thought it was fun. Who knows what color it is?!? Do you?!”.  ….it took everything in me not to say “there is no way I could know that!”.
  • One of the fantastic questions posed to me “Will this wax not rip off my skin, you know, around where my underwear is, like between my thighs?” – enough said.
That Girl in the Red Coat

That Girl in the Red Coat

 

 

beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

…a good problem to have

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So, its been a while since my last post. For those who follow my tales (thank you, by the way), you know I call myself out on my own shit – not always an easy thing for me to do – trust me – just ask my lovely hubby and darling daughter. The way I see it, if my words are to hold any water and  if I am going to call people out on their shit, I gotta do it for myself. I gotta.

Over past weeks, between being a Salon manager, a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter, preparing the shop for the retail holiday season, keeping my home and our finances in order and  working on potential career opportunities, it’s safe to say yours truly was a tad overwhelmed and kinda began to lose herself and her perspective. Last week, I was in a pretty foul mood. I found myself losing my patience too often and having the right attitude but with the wrong person more often than I would like to admit. In my corner of the world, the wind was cold and for five days straight, not one ray of sunlight. By Friday morning, with an 8 hour day in front of me, I was done. I was tired. All I wanted to do was go home, have a glass of wine and pout. Then I checked my twitter feed and my perspective changed drastically….and I stopped being a pouty baby that my life had become overwhelming – because my life had become overwhelming because I had made it so. Many others, too many to count did not have that choice.

 

Friday, November 13th 2015 will be a date etched into our memories. Just as September 11th 2001 will be etched in mine. Watching your husband wonder for 10 hours if his brother was alive is a vision I would not wish upon anyone. Ever. Before any of you get up on me about the other violent acts that occurred last week, let me be clear, I know of them as well. I took a moment to educate myself on world events over the weekend, for I, as I am sure most of you, had gotten caught up in my own world and forgot to look up once and while a take a look around. So, instead of bashing the opinions of others and focusing on the violence and the anger of it all, try to remember that no amount of debate, insult or opinion slashing will bring back the loss of a loved one, a child, a parent and innocence. Try to remember that there are many people, in Paris and around the world who wish that deciding who’s opinion matters most was their biggest problem today. We cannot change what has happened, all we can change is how we handle it. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves. So today;

  • when you hear of the loss of loved one or friend, just listen. Don’t ask for details – details will be shared if they want to be. Sometimes, saying nothing at all means more than a thousand words.
  • when you ask “What can I do?”, mean it. Many times there is nothing to be done, but in case there is a need to be filled, you better be willing to step up.
  • there is no need to post every opinion that pops into your head on every social media outlet. If that is what you choose to do, power to you. Please, try not to complain if you do not like the response you receive. (Psst….you get what you give. Just sayin’.) .
  • when you are out running errands, hold the door open for a stranger, let someone in your lane. Buy the coffee for the car behind you in the drive thru.
  • hug your kids and make sure they stop hugging first.
  • hug your spouse and make sure they stop hugging first.
  • take a moment to be thankful, be it for hot coffee, a roof over your head or your health.
  • spread some joy around

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Listen for what you cannot hear

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Beauty – a combination of qualities, such as shape, color or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

I hear the familiar chirp of the Salon’s door chime and as I look up from my purchase order, I see two sparkling eyes staring at me from just above the counter. Standing on her tippy toes, a young girl reaches out her hand and with a squeal, shakes her hand, giving me a prompt to shake her hand. Her mother, standing behind her lets me know that the young girl is deaf, so she likes to shake hands since she cannot say the word hello. I smiled at the little girl, and gave her a wave hello. I came out from behind the counter and gave a “come with us” wave to the girl as I went to help her Mother find the product she was after. As I was explaining how to use the product, I felt a little hand grab mine and little fingers intertwine with mine. I looked down to those sparkling eyes and smile. The young girl pointed to my hair and let out another squeal. It seems her favorite color is purple and yours truly has a swipe of purple throughout my hair. So, I bent down and let her play with my hair. She smiled and squealed and ended up rubbing my head where it is shaved. I showed her Mother the testers of purple hair chalk so her daughter could have purple hair too. Her Mother applied it and once it was done, I motioned to the girl to follow me. I took her over to our biggest mirror, bent down to her level, smiled and pointed to her reflection that she too had purple hair. Her Mother signed it was time to go and as I walked to the counter, my new found purple haired twin kept holding my hand, smiling and squealing. As they were leaving, the Mother thanked me for my help and my kindness and told me that I had made her daughter’s day. Funny thing is, it was her daughter who made mine, and I was sure to let her know it.

After the Mother/Daughter duo left, it got me to thinking. How many other Salon’s had they been to? How many other shop’s had they been in? How many other people did the young girl reach out her hand, only to have it ignored? How many people forgot about just being kind? For a successful Salon, you need more than a great colorist, good coffee and fully stocked shelves. You need to be attentive, sympathetic and empathetic. You need to pay attention to the sights and sounds of your Salon and your clientele and customers. You need to take those extra minutes to explain how to style your client’s new ‘do, or to bend down and let a child touch your purple hair.

Taking a moment to be kind to another human being, especially a child, adds beauty to the world. Plain and simple.

 

beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, writing

…I was just being nice

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It’s been a while since a new tale, I know. Thank you for your patience and continued support. It’s safe to say that after the past couple of months, yours truly has many a tale to tell and that I am graciously happy to see the arrival of September. Change is a good thing, and do I ever need a change of scenery, as do many of those I hold dear. In the next weeks I will have tales of woe, tales of truth (everyone’s favorite), tales of business and of pleasure. Today’s tale is of a different sort. I am not sure what category it falls under…is “reality T.V. is not real life” a category? I think it is, and so today’s tale falls under said category.

I am not sure when it happened. Maybe I missed the email. Did I miss a mass Facebook invite? Was it trending on twitter and I was a twit who missed it? I have been racking my brain trying to figure out where and when it all began….when did being polite and courteous of others become misconstrued as flirtation and foreplay? I hold the door open behind me at the bank for a couple, the gent smiles and thanks me, the lady (being polite…minding my manners) scowls at me and grabs a holder tight on her gent’s arm. Honey, the only withdrawal I am after  is my $100.00 from the ATM. I have a customer that I have had to stress at great lengths that I am quite content in my marriage, all because I told him that I thought his grey hair was dashing and really suited him and he shouldn’t color it.

Maybe it has something to do with social media. Lets be honest here folks…it’s kind of  narcissistic. It is. Most of the time we are posting “about me”. Sure, we mention our loved ones, our destinations, etc… . In the end, it comes down to “look at me”. Yes, I know, I am writing a blog about my thoughts and idea’s…believe me, the irony is not lost. In the age of Reality T.V. , selfies and pelfies – a little term I made up for my single friends who are sent pictures of penises from men they have not yet met, only typed hello to on a dating site. Since we are on the topic, if you are a gent who likes to post his significant other or “you know a guy” who does, first – don’t do that. Second – seriously, don’t do it. Third – if you must, try being a little more artistic ok? Having your Mom’s crocheted plant holder with a dead plant in it while you have a  superman towel over your shoulders needs to be rethought…as does the idea of posting that pic…just sayin’. Back to the tale at hand.

Being me, I had to make a list. Those of you familiar with my tales know it’s kind of my thing.

– When you look upset and a co worker asks if you are alright, it does not mean that they want to sleep with you. …maybe, just maybe, they are empathetic.

– When someone compliments your new pants, it does not mean that they want to get in them. ….wait for it…there you go.

– When a man other than your husband notices your new hair’do, that doesn’t mean that your husband is having an affair, or that you should begin one with the complimentary gent.

– Just because someone tells you something about themselves, like “I prefer Coca Cola over Pepsi”, this does not mean that they see you as a better confidant than their spouse.

– When a woman over forty shows her cleavage, it does not automatically mean she is a cougar. Trust me, being a woman with a killer rack – yeah I said it, and you surpass the DD’s…your gonna have cleavage, even in a turtle neck.

– When you think someone of the same sex is good looking, you don’t need to start rethinking your sexuality and start posting status updates about it. Some people are just meant to be looked at, plain and simple and like a work of art, they are admired. …Have you seen P!nk lately? Don’t get me started on Jon Bon Jovi…

– Porn is not real life. If you are looking for a police officer to “frisk you” – the  only way that’s going to happen is if you get arrested. Stop basing your bedroom ideals on literature and film. It’s not fair to you or your partner.

– Ladies, when a married male coworker gives you a birthday gift, 9 out of 10 times – his wife bought it and told him to give it to you. …so you may want to re-think the flirty thank you texts.

Here’s the deal. When someone is being kind to you, it doesn’t mean they want to run off with you. I am 43 and I know that there are player’s out there and that yes, getting it on is the motive of some people, but not all. Once and for all, when I show concern, consideration or kindness, I really am just being nice.

 

 

beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – The 20th…yes…the 20th Edition

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It’s July. It’s the week of the August long weekend.  A heat wave has hit my corner of the globe. The Humidex is on the rise. Combine all these events and you have the ingredients for a whole lot of crazy.  Oh…and there is a full moon upon us, it is to arrive on Friday. You see, the powers that be have bestowed not one, but two full moons this July. The second full moon is known as a Blue Moon. You know, I used to like that song. Now I feel the lyrics are mocking me… “Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone…”…I bet it did. Well Ladies and Gents, boys and girls, gather ‘ round for the 20th, yes, the 20th edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth.

– I hear the chirp of the shop’s door and the flip flop of the woman’s sandals. I look up from my invoice and greet her with my morning smile, wish her a good morning and ask if I can help her. “Yeah. I want my hair cut.”. I let her know that my stylists are booked for the day but we can make her an appointment for tomorrow. “Pfft. That’s not gonna do. Why the hell would you put this coupon in the paper for cheap haircuts if you can’t even take me now?!? I think that’s stupid and yous (her word…not mine) guys are liars! Whatcha think of that?!?!” to which I kindly let her know that our Salon didn’t put the coupon in the paper for “cheap haircuts” and that the Salon she was looking for was at the other end of the plaza. She looked at me for a minute, then flip flopped out the door.

– Every once in a while, yours truly is alone at the shop and every once in a while, nature calls. I put a sign on the door that states “Thank you for your patience. 🙂 Be back in 5 minutes”. Now, to be clear, I am usually back in 2 minutes. I lock the door because we are a retail shop too and if I am in the ‘loo with my knickers at my knees I can’t stop shoplifters. So, nature called. I went as fast as I possibly could for I could hear someone banging on the shop’s door. As I got closer to the door, the customer had no problem telling me how “F’in hot it is outside” and that it was unfair of me to make her wait 2 minutes. I apologized and let her know I was on my own and that I had to use the washroom. She told me I should work on my bladder skills. …is there a course for that?

– A woman asked me if there was anything she could do to make her hair more greasy. I told her if she didn’t wash her hair for a week it would probably get greasy. She told me she couldn’t go a week without washing her hair because that would be gross. ….wait for it…there you go.

– A woman told me I was making her lose her patience because I couldn’t remember the product she had bought  in the past from her stylist at another Salon. FYI – this was her description – “that stuff, that I like, you know, in the tube or a jar, I can’t remember, but it smells good and my husband liked it”. …even Dionne Warwick and her psychic friends are at a loss on this one.

– A gent complained that our debit machine was too slow. I apologized and let him know it would be a few more seconds. “I’m in a hurry you know!”. So I moved the candy dish over to him and offered him a candy to which he exclaimed “STARBURST! MY FAVORITE!” and then he began to tell me about his first time eating a Starburst, then his first job and then he told me why he was in town. …All I kept thinking was “I thought you were in a hurry…and please, please do not ask me about waxing your balls”.  – those of you who read my blog know of what I speak.

– This month we have litre duo’s on sale in the shop. A woman wanted to buy a duo for her whole family to use. She colors her hair so I showed her the Color Shampoo/Conditioner duo’s we have. “Oh, I can’t buy that. My kids don’t color their hair and if I buy that then I have to get them to start coloring their hair so they can use it too and I don’t want to have to do that.”.  *author’s note –  anyone and any hair type can use Color Shampoo and Conditioner, even if you don’t color your hair.

– I have been asked if I shave the side of my head and put a blue streak in my hair so people won’t look at the scar on my neck. By the way, the answer is NO.

– A customer came in looking for a new shampoo. She let me know she had decided to become a vegetarian and wanted to be sure that the products she uses are not tested on animals. A dog was barking as she was talking (we have a pet shop beside us, so we hear many barks, meows and chirps.). I introduced her to the SOMA line and the ONESTA line – certified Vegan and Cruelty Free. As I was ringing through her purchase, she was telling me how horrible it is that people mistreat animals, then she got in her car and I realized the barking stopped. Yep, Miss. Save the Animals had left her dog in the car while she shopped for her cruelty free products.

– A woman complained that the mousse I sold her was “crap and didn’t give her any volume or body” like I said it would. I asked her if she applied it to damp hair and used her blow dryer. “Yes. Just like you said.”. I asked her how she dried her hair and asked her to show me what she does with her brush and blow dryer (some people use a round brush but brush the hair down and end up guiding the hair straight instead of guiding it up and out from the root for volume). “How am I gonna do that? I don’t have my hair dryer here!” ….sigh

– A woman walked into the shop, saw me behind the counter helping a customer and asked me “Are you open?”

– A gent asked if the tweezers we sell can be used on any part of the body. I now know his wife doesn’t like hairy nipples. He didn’t specify whose were the issue…thank god.

This month I have been asked if I have been saved. I have been asked if I have found Jesus. I have been asked if I knew that I had a scar on my neck. I have been told that I was brave to think I could pull off having the side of my head shaved – think that one was meant as a compliment. I have been told about a nail fungus. I have been shown a nail fungus – took off their shoe and sock to show me. Oh! and a lovely lady let me know that Tea Tree Shampoo can makes things tingle “south of the border”.

Dad's laugh

 

beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – 19th Edition

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Well, ladies and gents, boys and girls, the full moon has arrived and with it some amazing and dare I say, gruesome tales of truth. I have been in the retail/customer service gig for over 25 years and thought I had heard and seen it all. …well, I stand corrected.

– The phone rings, I answer with my standard greeting. “Are you open?” is what I am asked. “Yes. We are open.”. “So, you are open?”. “Yes, we are open 9:30 – 9:00 today.”. “So, if I come over there, you’ll be open, right?”.  ….sigh

– A woman came in asking if I still sell the Wet Brush (the BEST brush EVER for tangles…just sayin’). I let her know we do and walked her over to the display. “I use the Wet Brush on my dog. He loves it so much I want one too…but it can’t be green, because his is green and I don’t want him mistaking my brush for his.”.

– A woman came in looking for hair chalk. I showed her the Color Bug by Kevin Murphy and the Pigment Pencils by Joico Structure. I let her know that they are a temporary color and will wash out in one to two shampoo’s. “If it lasts until I wash it out, that isn’t very temporary – I only wash my hair once a week.”

– I now know that there is at least one man who uses travel size hair dryers because they are the perfect size to use “south of the border” ….his pun…not mine…did not need the visual.

– A woman came in demanding I only show her products that are not tested on animals. She was wearing leather sandals & carrying a leather tote (I used to run the Ladies dept. at a shoe store and I can spot leather shoes at 100 paces).

– A boy and his mother came in looking for hair chalk. As I was showing them my selection and explaining how to use it, the boy was interrupting his mother, being rude, hitting the display and even our plant. When we got to the counter, as I was ringing through the hair chalk purchase,(a purchase he did not deserve, in my opinion), the boy saw our OPI nail swatches and shouted “Hey! Are these fake nails?” to which I answered “Oh no. Those are the nails from little boys who are rude to their Mother’s in my shop.”. ….Have to admit…that was fun.

– Box color is not for “your box” …enough said.

– The hair dryers are blowing, all of my stylists have a client in their chair. The woman at the front counter says “Oh…so you have a Salon.”. “Yes we do, would you like to make an appointment?” I ask. “Is it a real Salon?” she asked. Before I answered, I reminded myself not to show it on my face, “I’m sorry. What do you mean by a real Salon?”. “Oh, you know. A real Salon – you hear about these fake ones that open then close like a day later. You can never be to careful!”. She has been buying her hairspray from me for 4 years. …I left it at that…I had nothing.

….and the Piece de Resistance…drum roll please…a middle aged woman came in – hey, I can say middle aged, I am going to be 43. So, a middle aged woman, wearing a micro mini corduroy skirt, I mean micro mini skirt came in looking for her color. I walked over to the shelf and helped her find it. I asked her if she had enough peroxide at home to which she said, “I better get some.”. As I bent down to get it for her, she bent down as well. Well ladies and gents, yours truly was visually assaulted for Miss. MicroMini was not wearing any underwear. Going commando. Sans gitch. If that Took. It. Out. Seinfeld episode was about a woman, Elaine would have said “Put. It. Out.”….oh…and she needed a trip to her esthetician… enough said.

 

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beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – 18th edition

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Gather ’round ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is once again time for that girl in the red coat’s Tales of Truth. A full moon is not set to arrive for a few weeks so I cannot blame the following antics on our lunar companion. The warm weather is upon us and the humidex is on the rise, so that may be a factor, or maybe people have simply gone bat shit crazy.

 

– I was helping a woman select her shampoo when another woman came into the shop. I said hello and let her know I would be with her shortly. She told me “I’m just looking”. After I finished with my customer, I walked over to her and asked if she was finding what she was looking for to which I was told “I said I was just looking!”, so I went back to unpacking my orders. As she passed the counter I heard a sigh and turned to ask her if there was something she needed to which she told me “well, yes, there is, but no one is helping me so I am leaving.”.

– a woman called to ask me why I didn’t answer the phone at 8:00 a.m. when she called. I let her know the shop opens at 9:30 a.m. to which she said “you still haven’t answered my question”.

– a woman complained that the flat iron spray I suggested was “Shit and was ruining her hair, not protecting it”. *Educational tip – flat iron spray is to be applied to dry hair – not applied to the flat iron itself.

– A woman came into the shop asking if I could help her find the Goldwell shampoo she uses because she left her glasses at home. As I came from behind the counter to help her she let me know “please don’t mind the smell, I just had some moles burned off.”. …trust me…I wish I was making this shit up.

– A woman asked me if she could buy  the travel size hair dryer even if she doesn’t travel.

– “Do you sell toe nail polish?” – I am asked this more than you want to know

– I had another gentleman ask me if it was possible to wax his own balls – actually, he called them his “little buddies”. …Gilligan’s Island will never be the same for yours truly.

– A product I usually carry was out of stock. My customer wanted to know where else she could buy it. I didn’t know, but offered to give her the phone number of the shops I thought may carry her product. I was told “my customer service was for shit” because I wouldn’t call all the other shop’s in town for her to see if they had what she wanted.

– A couple came in asking about our hair trimmers. I showed them our selection of clippers and trimmers and let them know that the Wahl Peanut is our best seller. It is great for cutting, trimming and outlining. The woman turned to her gent and said “Look! A peanut to use on your peanut!”. …I need a raise.

 

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beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

The Mother Load

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Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. Being in the Salon/retail biz, I get to witness the preparations and the aftermath of Mother’s Day celebrations. From tears to tantrums to whimpers, I have seen and heard it all. Just this past weekend as I was buying my fruits and veggies I saw a grown man with red roses in one hand and pink roses in the other with a look of panic, shark coming at you in open water panic, over the decision of which flowers to buy. At the shop I helped a gent buy his wife her Mother’s Day gift. He came in, leaned on the counter and told me “You have to help me! I need that oil that comes in the blue box. I don’t know the name of it, but I have to get it for my wife!”. At our shop, our Salon management system keeps record of our client/customers purchases, so I asked for her name and phone number, saw she likes Moroccanoil, took him over to the display and got the oil off the shelf for him. He sighed with relief. He thanked me five times in a row. I was told I was a “lifesaver!”. All over a bottle of oil. Now, you all are aware that I am a mother, and I love shiny things and receiving presents. This being said, making your loved ones have a panic attack or risk of a coronary over their decision of what to get you for Mother’s day is well, stupid. Yeah, I said it. Before you get all in an uproar, take a breath. I am here to confess. I used to be the woman who made her hubby feel just as the poor gent with the roses. I am not proud of it. What I am proud of is that I am no longer that woman.

When I was a girl, I was easy to please. As a young woman, easy to please. As a new bride, easy to please…until, as all women do at some point in their lives, I began to listen to the wrong people and the wrong opinions. I remember when it happened. It was one of my first Christmas’s as a new bride when a few of my “friends” told me that my decorations were simple and the my hubby’s treasured gifts were silly. I thought my little tree was cute – it was my first tree with my hubby. I thought it was wonderful that I received Corning Ware for Christmas, because I really wanted it. I didn’t realize that getting homeware or a vacuum was tacky – I thought it was awesome, because it was what I wanted. In the blink of an eye,  I began to compare myself with others. What were they doing? What gifts did they request? I became someone I didn’t know. I became the woman who thought every holiday had to be an occasion, an event to end all events. I would worry what others would think of me and how I celebrated special days or special occasions. I would worry about what others would say about the gift I received – if they measured up to the status quo of what a Mother’s Day gift should be. I would make myself and my family crazy trying to create the perfect day…and every time, the day would end with me standing in the kitchen, washing food off of platters that I didn’t get to enjoy or even eat for that matter, being exhausted, emotionally and physically, looking at the gift I received wondering why I asked for it. It took a few years, but I realized that this just isn’t me and it just isn’t working. I came to realize that my husband had been right all of these years. I decided to take a page from my hubby’s book and decided to stop making such a big deal over holidays and occasions. Once the pressure was off, I actually began to enjoy Mother’s Day again, and so did my family.

Ladies, I know the following opinion may not be a popular one, and if you do not agree, that is okay, this is my journey and you are on your own. When it comes to Mother’s Day, birthdays and celebrations in general – ease up. Take a breath. Take the time to enjoy your time. Stop sighing and stomping because you received the vacuum you have been eyeing and talking about every time it’s on sale in the flyer. Think about it for a minute – did you ever stop and think that maybe your husband had been scanning the internet and sale flyers waiting to be able to afford the exact model you wanted? – yeah, let that sink in for a minute. …and that maybe your kids were so excited to see their Dad give their Mom that thing she keeps talking about. Stop worrying if you will get a ring bigger than your neighbor’s and how you will pay it off if it is. Stop trying to make everything perfect, because it will never be perfect – there’s no such thing. Stop comparing yourself and your life to others – perfectly said by Will Smith “We spend money we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people that do not care.”. It’s time to start being present. It’s time to start being thankful. It’s time to start letting things be what they are going to be. It’s time to start being concerned about the opinions of your loved ones and what they think of you and your life.

This year I received two of the best Mother’s Day gifts  – the first was 4 days before Mother’s Day. I had worked a 43 hour week and came home to a clean house, clean kitchen and tenderloin with all the trimmings waiting for me, just because. The second was a lovely letter from my girl. I had a quiet day, got some errands done, caught up on Mad Men and laundry, enjoyed a blizzard from Dairy Queen with my girl, made supper and enjoyed some wine with my husband. No tears. No anxiety. No worries of who got what, what they would think of my gifts and no worries of being able to afford this Mother’s Day. I really have hit the Mother Load. I hope you can too.